How do I cope when I feel like I am ruining my partner's life?

[Keronarenae]

How do you cope when you feel like you’re ruining your partner’s life even though you never meant to? I’m in university doing two degrees, we have a baby together, and my husband is working two jobs to support us. He’s constantly stressed and exhausted, and sometimes it feels like his life would have been easier if he hadn’t met me. I even feel guilty for getting pregnant because I worry it pushed him into a life of pressure and responsibility he wasn’t ready for.
Recently, during an emotional moment, I broke down and said I hated myself and felt like a burden — not because I meant it literally, but because I was overwhelmed and hurting.
How do I deal with these intense feelings of guilt, self-blame, and emotional overload when both partners are under heavy pressure?” Make this shoo Shorter but don't miss out any import

[Vevv123]

You shouldn’t feel guilty especially after having a baby. Stress will never end regardless of the situation you’re in. There will always be stress and problems to solve. It’s normal. You should talk with him about it because it and maybe plan a few days to destress or activities you both like so it helps with stressful times. You’re young, so it’s understandable that you might both feel overwhelmed, but try to enjoy being parents while still working on your goals.

[Keronarenae]

But how do I do that how do I do that because his mom is influencing our relationship and she says all type of negative stuff to him right about me and about a relationship and then he brings them back to me so when I bring up these feelings you know yeah and his mom says I'm too sensitive and that I love to talk about feelings you know

[Vevv123]

Oh that’s tough especially since you should definitely have a good relationship with his parents, but I think it’s worth talking to him about it and mentioning how it makes you feel. What he can do is ignore the judgement by changing the subject when she starts talking judgementally about you or he can speak to her respectfully and ask her if she can stop referencing you in those ways, I think she should understand especially if it’s an unnecessary kind of judgement. Other times judgement comes from people that have a bit more experience, so as long as you know how to differentiate judgement that is coming from wisdom and judgement that is just opinions, you’ll know what to take seriously and it won’t affect you as much because you know you’re trying your best. So yes, I know it can be tough but if anything she needs to see that your relationship is solid and that it will be hard to break because he steps up for you when you’re not there.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

“Start by reminding yourself that feeling guilty doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing harm, it usually means you care.

Talk to them honestly, slow down the pressure you’re putting on yourself, and let them tell you how they actually feel.

You’re not supposed to carry the whole relationship alone.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is step back, breathe, and see it through their eyes instead of your fears.”

[Staximus]

Time to stop going to school so much and get a job. You don't have to work on 2 degrees at once.

[Keronarenae]

Studying to be a psychiatrist, well, I am actively searching for a job too.

[Keronarenae]

I was working when I got pregnant and had to quit because I was very sick, to the point I got hospitalized. However, I have been searching for online jobs since my son was 3 months old.

[Keronarenae]

This is my final year

[Staximus]

It sounds like the 2 of you had a kid before you could afford one, so he needs to get a better paying job and you need to work on one degree at a time instead of 2 and spend that extra time working to make money. You 2 will have to tough it out for a few years until your kid is in school, then you'll have time for more work or college.

[Staximus]

Working this guy to death so you can study for 2 degrees is a shitty thing to do. How long until he breaks down and says "fuck this shit!"? Don't push somebody to the breaking point

[Keronarenae]

Who says that's the case? He does admin and coding, and I'm not sure if your brain is processing things because if it did, you would see where I said I am searching for a job. And I am in pre-medicine. In the meantime I am taking care of household duties while having my son 24/7. He chooses to work 2 jobs.

[Staximus]

Well you don't have time for all that silly shit right now then, do you? If you two can afford for him to work less then he's stupid.

[Keronarenae]

As a matter of fact, I sat out a year when I was pregnant so that he could have his degree. You don't know the full story. My tax return and my savings were both spent buying my baby's first stuff.

[Keronarenae]

I do psychology and biology; my biology minor is mandatory. Because I am in premedicine.

[Keronarenae]

The admin job is his family business. He chose to work there. Both of his jobs are online.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my aim on Girls Ask Guys is to sprinkle a bit of pep into those tricky relationship moments! Feeling like you're sabotaging your partner's life might just be the overthinking gremlin at play, or perhaps some underlying self-esteem blues. Open conversations are like relationship prozac, they can brighten everything up 😊. Be honest and playful in your chats with your partner, and don't hesitate to share your feelings. Your love story deserves that added sprinkle of sparkle, after all! 🌟

[Keronarenae]

How do you cope when you feel like you’re ruining your partner’s life even though you never meant to? I’m in university doing two degrees, we have a baby together, and my husband is working two jobs to support us. He’s constantly stressed and exhausted, and sometimes it feels like his life would have been easier if he hadn’t met me. I even feel guilty for getting pregnant because I worry it pushed him into a life of pressure and responsibility he wasn’t ready for.
Recently, during an emotional moment, I broke down and said I hated myself and felt like a burden — not because I meant it literally, but because I was overwhelmed and hurting.
How do I deal with these intense feelings of guilt, self-blame, and emotional overload when both partners are under heavy pressure?” Well his mom said I'm ruining his life and he he thought him how to choose and he chose the wrong girl he got the wrong girl pregnant

[Nikki1989]

You need to have an honest conversation with your partner to address the feeling of guilt and stress without making it a burden for them to manage.

[Keronarenae]

But how do I do that how do I do that because his mom is influencing our relationship and she says all type of negative stuff to him right about me and about a relationship and then he brings them back to me so when I bring up these feelings you know yeah and his mom says I'm too sensitive and that I love to talk about feelings you know

[Anonymous]

By copying mechanisms.