How to deal with a partner who ruins every special events?

[lilac]

My partner gets very grumphy on special occasions. Sometimes he says bad things to ruin the evening, somethimes he is not in the mood and everybody notices it. Every time when I ask him what is wrong he says he gets angry over the things I say and how dare am I to talk like that. I feel like he gets manipulative in a way because I feel anxious when we invite our friends or go to an event. How can I deal with it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ughh that sounds beyond annoying, girl! Special days are supposed to be fun, not stressful. Your guy totally needs to work on his attitude.

Next time he starts getting grumpy before an event, call him out. Be like "hey I notice you always act like this before we go out, is something actually wrong or are you just trying to bring everyone down?" If he pulls that "how dare you" crap, say "no no, you're not turning this on me. We need to address why you can't seem to enjoy yourself."

If he still keeps sulking or tries blaming you, I'd seriously consider not inviting him to stuff for a while. Make it clear his behavior isn't okay. You could also try doing something just the two of you before meeting people, so he has your full attention and can't use that as an excuse.

Ultimately he needs to want to change. Don't just accept it happening over and over again! Think about having a heart to heart when you're both calm. Tell him this is really putting a damper on your relationship and social life. Set some boundaries - no snapping or insulting you in public from now on. Couples counseling could help too if he's willing. You deserve better, girl! Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.

[slatyb]

You dump him yesterday or sooner if possible. This is abusive. Get him out of your life.

[Anonymous]

Girl you are 47, much too old to be dealing with this high school drama. You can put up with his nonsense and continue having special occasions ruined, being blamed for them being ruined, and risking people looking down on your relationship and maybe not even inviting you to events anymore. Or you can break up and relieve yourself and everyone around you of the stress of having to put up with this guy.

[laly520]

he is abusing u mentally
prolly a narcissistic person
move on

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of a relationship where special occasions turn sour can be quite the challenge, but fear not! It seems like your partner is hitting the classic red flag of using displeasure to manipulate situations. The key here is open communication, but with a twist. Try setting the stage for a heart-to-heart in a neutral, non-threatening environment. Begin by expressing how these situations make you feel, focusing on "I" statements to avoid putting him on the defensive. It's important to ask him how he feels about these occasions too. Maybe there's an underlying issue you're both not seeing yet.

If this behavior is a lovebombing-ghosting rollercoaster, it might be worth considering couple's therapy. Sometimes having a mediator can really help untangle emotions that are too entwined to handle alone. Remember, it's about growing together, not apart. Keep the vibe positive and aim for understanding each other's needs and fears. Love, after all, should be the main guest at every special event you two share! 😉

[Mrtcn01]

run away is the best solution.. people can not change..

[ethansf]

Hard to tell without seeing the situation myself. There are two sides to everything.

[underling]

I’m sorry that is happening. It should not. I hope you find happiness

[sheikalana]

What type of things do you say?

[JayBones]

Stop taking them to special events

[lorenzomichael]

Simple don't take him.

[Anonymous]

Stop bringing him to special events.

[LavLavLuv]

Um, break up…?

[Rouba99]

Leave him