If your partner told you they were done with you, what would you do next?

Question

Would you accept it and move on or would you beg them to give you another chance? When a girl tells me she is done. with me , I just accept it and move on , never beg someone to stay with you , I don’t care how much you love or care about them , if they are saying they are done , move on and accept it for what it is , every girl that I have done this to , eventually tries to get me back because they realized I am perfectly fine without them by my side , when you beg a partner to give you another chance , they just make your life a living hell , and you are only hurting yourself by doing so. Because if they truly loved you , they wouldn’t be saying they are done to you at all. What do you do when a partner says they are done?

Noredcarpet · Accepted Answer

My take on it is that some break up in the heat of the moment and then they regret it, some to get the upper hand to later somehow think the other one will come crawling.

When I have left a partner I may have been truly emotional at the moment, but I knew to me there was no coming back, and I would have preferred if they just let go without trying to boss or get me back somehow. I leave when it is too late to do anything about it, when really my heart has been broken step by step and there is zero hope for the future. (I don't wish to offend my exes but I did think something serious was wrong and they were too much in trouble and thickheaded.)

I do resent the tactic some have for breaking up with someone just to try to get some control over them, upper hand, revenge, but in reality they don't want to loose them. I've had my discussions on those who do that, and who are surprised, insulted why the guys who in my opinion you have already done the worst you can do by leaving simply let them leave. What they want is for them to fight for them. I think in general terms the older, more experience you get you see through tactics, games, manipulation which is all childish, instinct ways when our adult brains aren't working as it should.

Maybe your exes did leave you in the heat of the moment and it was something that seemed right to them then and there. Maybe an ex or exes did it to you as a pure tactic and when it did not play out the way they thought they tried getting back?

My opinion is no matter what if someone wants to leave let them because you can not be only one of the two still trying to make it work. What ever it is that's wrong it takes collaboration, two to fix that, and you just can't get it right alone.

I too have stood there in the heat of the moment with a guy who was about to threaten to leave. If I recall it right I opened the front door, but he didn't walk out, and he took it back at the last minute. Think I said something down the line that if you leave, you leave for good, there's no coming back, type of words. I would not take him back. I can be real stubborn, act out of principle. I don't want shit like that.

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

Although I did not beg, I thought being his friends with benefits would get him to eventually take me back, but I was wrong. He didn't take me back and I had to move on. And now he recently told me he regrets the breakup but it's too late. I am done and moved on hopefully to someone else.

Keyboardkat · Accepted Answer

What is there to do? She doesn't want you. If you are head-over-heels in love with her, and she tries to be nice and let you down gently, it hurts like hell! So all you can do is go home, give yourself a pity party for a few days, and then pick up the pieces of your life and try to move on.

One thing, though! If your heart is broken, DON'T DATE ANYONE for maybe a year!!! I'm serious. You are not yet emotionally available to someone else. It's easy to zero in on someone nice and use them (subconsciously perhaps) as a band-aid. But when you've healed, what do we do with band-aids? We tear them off. And that's what you'll do, because you weren't ready! That's not a fair thing to do to someone. I was guilty of this myself a long time ago, and I emotionally hurt someone nice, and I have always regretted this, so much so that I wish I could find her just to apologize and ask forgiveness. Don't do it! Join a club, take a course, learn a language, take up a musical instrument, take a trip, whatever interests you. But don't date until you're ready..

You will know when you're ready. When you can hear her name mentioned without feeling a stab in the chest, when you can hear that song played without dissolving into tears, when you can see her coming down the street without crossing the street to avoid her, you'll know you're ready.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

Well , thinking specifically of right now and the woman that’s been with me for the past 13 years , being perfectly honest I’d be stunned , but after hearing her out and attempting to understand through her reasoning knowing her I’d have little choice but to accept her decision regardless of how emotionally gutted I’d feel

Our lives are naturally deeply intertwined practically and emotionally given the length of our relationship and my feelings for her and this would take considerable unraveling but to the point you make in your description , no I’d never beg. I only want to be with a woman who actively chooses me , and makes me the priority that I make her in my life.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach, my mission here is to sprinkle some wisdom with a side of spice. When someone pulls the "I'm done" card, hold your head high and keep strutting. No watering down your worth or begging for breadcrumbs! You've got the personality flair and resilience that'll make them rethink their decision one day. Life's too short to dwell on what wasn't meant to be. Remember, letting them go is like freeing a bird—if they were truly meant for you, they'll fly back. 💙💫

Genie23 · Answer

I'd be heartbroken, but there wouldn’t be much to do except leave and cry it out until the pain settles or until I feel numb. I’d take my time to process everything and slowly.. I’d reconnect with the things that make me happy. People come and go- even the ones who were once close to you, but life doesn’t stop. I’d heal and move on at some point.

Begging someone to stay won't make them love you or work things out with you. It will only make things worse. So, I'd rather let him go.

AviatorTom · Answer

First thing to do is determine how serious they are. Sometimes in an argument, my wife tells me that, then changes her mind an hour later.

If you determine your partner is serious, you figure out what it takes to leave, try to be as amicable as you can, and just move on.

TrueConfection · Answer

I’d be gone so fast! There are plenty of fish in the sea.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

NEVER beg for another chance! If you do, you are handing over total control to a partner who does not want what is best for you.

Crimsyjo · Answer

Life and relationships are too complex to have a one for all solution.

For instance, my roomie just broke with her boyfriend. After 5 years. She said she's done because they live apart. And he doesn't make effort to see her. Not even her birthday. And when they are together he just watches tv. No effort to go out, do nice things, give her attention. So when she said she's done - like a lot of women- it can be a test. If a guy just goes oh OK (which he did) then how bad is that? A guy who loves you should fight for you. Or at least try to say they want to work it out and if the person still says nope then move on. Now he did come the distance at 2am. Now he's saying why? But it's too late. She IS done. He should have shown he cared straight away. Not be lazy and go yh yh she will change her mind.

So... bare that in mind. People can push to test a partner. Not good if it's frequent. Or for no reason. But of you love someone you wouldn't walk easy.

Ez-Bri-Z_v2 · Answer

Oh I would definitely be a beggar because I dread being alone. I would fight to keep us together and communicate what went wrong and how we could fix it. Hopefully they would be up for couples counseling as well.

If they refused all that and just chose to end it, then I would most likely be heartbroken and cry for days. It would be really hard to move on from someone I cared for deeply.

RandomGirl42 · Answer

Oh, this is a tough one 'cuz I have no experience there. I almost cry even thinking about the possibility. I know I would just curl up in a little ball and simply die for a good, long time. But I would like to believe I would eventually crawl out of my hole and manage to carry on with maybe only a minimal of begging 'cuz, yes, the bottom line, I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me.

sage2021 · Answer

I would not beg them to stay for sure! When someone says that their done, let them go - don't leave scratch marks trying to hold on to them.

Bitter_Sweet94 · Answer

I’d respect it.

Not because it wouldn’t hurt, but because begging, chasing, or bargaining only turns pain into humiliation.

I’d take space, feel what needs to be felt, and let the reality settle instead of fighting it.

If someone is done, the healthiest response is acceptance, not resistance.

Closure doesn’t come from convincing someone to stay.

It comes from choosing your dignity when they choose to leave.

OneViewpoint · Answer

I'm with you. If she comes to me and tells me she's done, I take her seriously and give her credit for considering the issue seriously and making that serious choice. I won't beg her to stay.

I'm not gonna be held captive by drama and performance art to test me or control me. If I cheated on her it would only be because she wasn't holding up her end of the relationship bargain after repeated conversations to that effect.

Tell me you're done and I'll believe you.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

I would move back to where my family is and try to start over id be heart broken but if they don't want it anymore you can't force them

katiesmuff · Answer

Way to many factors to consider to have a one only answer for this.

Screenwriter · Answer

If it were a complete surprize, I'd want to hear an explanation. If there had been trouble all along the way, you're right, have to let it go. And even after an explanation, letting it go is still most rational. Disappointing, but reasonable.

exitseven · Answer

I would keep my poker face on and just shrug.

msc545 · Answer

I probably ask why and hope I could get a coherent answer. I might also sigh in relief.

Anonymous · Answer

Well I would survive, but it would be a difficult time because we're very close.

NoDecision · Answer

Tell them to not let the door hit them in the ass on the way out.

Sal_Monella · Answer

I would ask why, accept her explanation and find the exit.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

With my cover boy good looks, dump her and get another, hotter broad.

RavVid · Answer

Usually they have been thinking about it for months and lined up someone new. So don't embarrass yourself.

Jupiter1 · Answer

That happened to me several times. I tried to hold on before I finally gave up to move on. After I moved on, they wanted me back. I just don’t want to play games. They were no longer worth reconsidering. I’ve had enough with games those girls play.

Staximus · Answer

When somebody cheats, says they don't love you anymore, or they want to leave then it's over. Nobody should tolerate being treated like they are disposable.

beenherebefore · Answer

As painful as it is I would have to believe them and let them go.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

I don’t waste my time with people that don’t have tangible actions to support their word’s but in this situation I’d move on fairly quick.

Bloodparadise · Answer

I wouldn't accept that and i would force him to stay with me.. i would stalk him, even tie him up.. to be with me

blackeagle007 · Answer

Move on. I used to beg but only was a waste of time. So forget it. There’s hotter women out there ❤️

Drumlin2001 · Answer

We have 2 young kids, it would be messy.

Anonymous · Answer

Meh, I'm single, so I don't have to worry about that.

Kelly6 · Answer

@finchie40 move on

Miristheiss · Answer

I would walk away and move on.

Evsisa · Answer

Leave.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Move on.

In_Trance · Answer

No begging. Move on

Enginn · Answer

But I'm not done yet

robocop666 · Answer

Move on man

40andabellygoingon · Answer

Go on bumble

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