How would you feel if your partner said if you and them didn’t work out , they tell you who they would go for next?

[Finchie40]

Girl I am with , said this to me and I was a little upset by it considering it’s like she already thought about being with this other person, and i felt disrespected, I told her how I felt and she said I have to stop being insecure , I said it’s nothing to do with insecurities , I said it’s just straight out disrespectful, and I said , How would you feel if I told you I was going to go for this other girl if you and i don’t work out? What was her purpose of telling me this shit? How would you feel if your partner did something like this to you?

[lightbulb27]

that's pretty damn awful, disrespectful... and I don't recall ever hearing that question on gag. In the context of most females I've known, if I heard that, it means... there is no relationship and she's checked out. Women don't communicate directly, they do so indirectly... there's more behind that emotion. Was she "testing you" for how you'd respond. How you handle the response can matter.

My wife makes some complex things simple with some wisdom. "What's the purpose of the communication"? "Make it a loving communication". That's the question to ask her... what's the point.

That said... some girls... say whatever pops into their mind, there is no filter. It may be meaningless or have changed 2 seconds later. I think you have to examine the personality you are dating in context of this, if that's what you want and if this is what is good for you.

Thats kinda stuff that can damage the emotional relationship. Or maybe can be re-communicated/discussed to improve it. But, I have to question whom your drawn to.

[Finchie40]

Yea she tends to have no filter when it comes to things so I have a tendency to defend myself and question her as to why she says things like that and she will usually apologize and say I am taking it the wrong way and then turn the tables around that I am being insecure , and it has nothing to do with insecurities it comes down to respect , so I don’t know what is going to happen with her and I , at times I feel like walking away and then she sucks me right back in

[lightbulb27]

ok. We'll, in my understanding, the all mighty God is exercising you to the deeper levels of your soul... attraction being what it is... sub conscious. Out of that exercise comes growth and freedom. so she may be good for you in that sense.

If you appreciate the exercise and emotional growth, then all good. Otherwise what's the point of suffering?

If you can develop to where you can laugh, go towards her, inquire... handle her remarks and spin them around in a positive, playful and fun and loving way, you got a chance. Especially true if there's other aspects of relationship/her you love and give strength and foundation. If it's a rock to the head and arrow to the chest every time... um... have to find someone who doesn't throw stones. That personality I see around, as I perceive her, and wouldn't expect her to change. Training to show respect was around 8-16, hard job now.
Other cultures may have these things better baked into the children because they still beat and discipline them young.

[libsaretards]

The relationship would end right then and there. If she has a backup it means she is expecting things to not work out, she is not 100% into the relationship AND she is probably already cheating.

I saw a response from a FEMALE (no surprise) saying something along the lines of "Everyone knows who they’d go for in a worse case scenario. We just do". That is what I would expect a cheater to say.

First, how do you know that your backup would be available should your current relationship fail? The only sure way would be to already be dating him/her, which means you are already cheating.

Second, why plan for a backup if you are truly committed to your relationship? Even if the relationship DOES fail, if you really love someone you would need time to heal. It would be selfish to use someone as a rebound just for your own healing at the expense of yet another person.

Third, any person who would date someone that fresh out of a failed relationship is probably not that committed themselves and there is a risk THEY will cheat on YOU.

I could go on and on, but my point is either I have 100% of your heart or I don't. I five 100% of myself to a relationship and I expect the same. If 100% of the space is filled, there is NO ROOM for a backup.

[1GoldTwins]

I'm sad. Does that mean that he already has doubts or problems about our relationships? Is my love not enough? What am I doing wrong? How can I be better? Why doesn't he address the issue instead of saying he has a plan B ready? Why a plan B, what is his relationship with her? How close are they? Is he already seeing her? Is his heart with her already?

Imma stop I could keep going, let's just say I would be very confused and sad.

[CubsterShura]

That's really odd. I don't think it's wrong to have people in your life that you could totally see yourself dating while you're in a relationship, but something about already making up your mind about who you will date if this doesn't work out, let alone saying it out loud, is weird as hell.

[OlderAndWiser]

Dude, it is already over and she just isn't being honest with you. Start looking elsewhere.

[globetrotter22]

Your not insecure. Her outright saying that was completely 100% insulting bs. At best she’s asking you to really step it up (with probably unrealistic expectations) but at worst she’s going to confidentially try to friéndzone after plunging the knife in your back. If she feels comfortable enough to insult you by saying this she will only do worse later.

If I were you I would just break up with her first. Tell her to run off to the next guy since he’s so much better. Mean it too. Be 100% ready to walk away and not look back.

How old is she anyway? Women 30 and older should definitely know better.

[Finchie40]

She is my age and I had words with her and basically told her she is a selfish person and she is probably best just to make her plans to move on because I want to be with someone that just wants me and doesn’t make plans on who they want to pursue next so I told her good luck but I am moving on , of course she threw herself at me and tells me she doesn’t want anyone else, So to me it was just another dumb game girls like to play like cat and mouse , which Most girls tend to play and I can’t stand like we are in high school. So I still don’t feel 100 percent secure in this relationship but it seems like most girls today are this way , it’s so pathetic , I feel social media has warped peoples minds and nobody really knows what they want these days

[Ariana9819]

Verrrry disrespectful. I would dump her on the spot. It just indicates that she was never really serious about you or at least has zero respect for the bond you have/had

[Finchie40]

Yea I had words with her last night and basically told her I want to be with someone that wants me and values me not someone that makes plans on who they will pursue next , So I told her best of luck to her because I am moving on , Of course she throws herself at me and says she wants me , so it ‘s like a game of cat and mouse that most girls tend to play like they are in high school , So who knows what’s going to happen , I still feel like she is stringing me along and she is just broken , so I can’t give myself a 100 percent to her , She shows a lot of narcissistic traits and I am starting to not care anymore , , I feel social media has destroyed trust and relationships brainwashing people to compare and give options , so I am just going to focus on myself and who knows what will happen because I am tired of being played for no reason what so ever. I am actually open to meeting someone else , that’s how bad it is , and if I do meet someone else I honestly don’t feel bad about it , I just know that will be my answer to end it with her completely, I can only give to someone that wants to give back the same I am not a fucking punching bag

[Anonymous]

Your girlfriend reminds me of a close friend's "girlfriend". Nasty bitch all around. She got pregnant, didn't bother telling him - and he would've been a good father & he was a good boyfriend to her, dumped him. He only knew she had ever been pregnant after she told him she'd gotten an abortion.

Such women - and men - like this should be sterilized. As they contribute nothing of value to society except showing they have no respect, no responsibility and lack empathy.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea its disrespectful. Honest but wrong. Everyone knows who they’d go for in a worse case scenario. We just do 🤷‍♀️ but thats bit something to discuss with the person that you should be hoping things work out with anyways

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I’ll guess, she’s much younger right?

There’s no way mature person would tell you this.

[Finchie40]

No she isn’t she is a little bit older than me

[Phoenix98]

It’s honest but disrespectful all it’s gonna do is ensure that you don’t work out because it’ll create discourse, distrust and resentment.

creates nothing but problems.

[TacosRAwesome]

Unless it's someone that's obviously a joke, than its offensive.

[Finchie40]

The other guy is a single father that we both know , it’s my daughter’s friends Dad , I met him a few times and he is a nice guy, but now that I know my girlfriend would date him , is going to make me look at him differently , it’s messed up

[TacosRAwesome]

Yeah that's too specific and close to home to not be offensive.

[Finchie40]

Yea the whole thing is disrespectful , time to move on

[Juxtapose]

When they say that they have already cheated on you guaranteed. Run away and run quickly.

[Finchie40]

Whether she cheated on me or planning , that’s something she has to live with knowing she is a piece of shit , I use to let that shit bother me until I realized my worth , what makes me mad is people that just can’t be honest and string people along for their selfishness, Not only are they wasting their time they are wasting their partners time which makes them even more of a piece of shit , One thing about cheaters if they don’t get busted they are still living the rest of theirs lives with guilt that they are a piece of shit and try to convince themselves that they were a victim and excuses as to why they did it , I cheated one time when I was younger and until I realized I was a piece of shit and was honest about it I felt an ease of guilt come off me , you can’t be happy with someone knowing you are a complete liar and a piece of shit , if you actually cared and loved the person you cheated on you would let them go and allow them to find true happiness, but again people are selfish and hard for them to admit to themselves they are wrong. And that’s the problem with this world , A lot of people can’t admit to themselves they are wrong , if I cheat on a girl I end the relationship right then and there , That is my answer that I don’t value that person if I can cheat on them , Yes cheating is a horrible thing to do to someone but it’s better to be honest then to hold a lie

[Juxtapose]

I think most people who cheat are borderline sociopathic and don't have any empathy for the other person.

[Finchie40]

I agree , I don’t commit to someone to be single , their is no point in it , If I can’t sacrifice and value my partner then how are they going to do the same for me. If they choose to walk away , let them go and value yourself worth , find someone that doesn’t want to walk away from you , We all want to be loved and wanted , What girls don’t realize is Men are simple , we don’t need much to keep us happy , Respect us , stay loyal to us and give us sex, that’s all we really ask for in a relationship , But for a girl there is a whole list of shit that needs to be completed and that’s when things get bumpy lol

[Juxtapose]

"What girls don’t realize is Men are simple , we don’t need much to keep us happy , Respect us , stay loyal to us and give us sex, that’s all we really ask for in a relationship"

EXACTLY!

[JamesRandiDebates]

She's probably already boning the other guy.

[Flower7]

I would be angry about it.