Can gay relationships last and be stable?

[Rei02]

Before I thought that gay couples are like the heterosexual ones: some can be happy, stable, and last for a long time; while others can be the opposite. Just to be clear, I am heterosexual.

However, something terrible has happened that made my POV darker and pessimistic: I had an uncle who came out of the closet years ago, but he didn't have a healthy and happy life with his partner, even though they have been together for many years, more than 40 years. He gained weight, his health turned worse as well as his temperament, and his partner was manipulative. Despite many chances, he couldn't improve his life, and this week he died due to health issues: obesity.

Both his story and end only made us, family and me, that his partner has been manipulative and used him just to get a comfortable life by living on my uncle's parents' money and expenses, because yes, my uncle was getting money from them as well as a flat.

Like I mentioned, before I was sure that gay couples could last, be happy and stable, but my uncle's death made me lose hope and that our society has just romanticised gay and lesbian couples but in reality they can't work things out.

What do you think?, do gay couples really can be healthy relationships for a long time or is the concept just a lie?

[HollyK21]

I’m genuinely sorry for your loss, but with that aside, I do not understand the correlation here. What’s being in a gay relationship have to do with obesity? Your uncle could’ve been a single man and still struggled with that. Then you go on to say you thought LGBT relationships were meant to last, yet it sounds like they’d still be together if one didn’t pass away. I mean 40 years? That’s a long time. It doesn’t sound like the family was really privy to the dynamics of their relationship and for all your know your uncle never felt used, he had lots of money to share and it’s not unusual for one partner to take care of the other. That’s how you get stay at home wives, husbands, etc., but he’s not here to discuss so you can only assume. In fact I’m not even sure what the motive for this way of thinking was, nothing here was mentioned that would justify vilifying this man who arguably just lost the love of his life.

[Nikki1989]

I know gay couples that have been together for 20+ years, so obviously they can.

[NathanDavis]

I know of a gay couple that has been together for around 40 years...

same as my parents who are straight

I also know about other gay couples who became violent against one another... multiple times... but I do know about straight couples that are just the same

so... clearly not about sexual preference

[bowenw]

I knew gay one couple that met in their 20s and stayed together until one passed away in his 70s. They were happy and stable.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you see love more clearly… and not lose hope, sexy thinker 😉

Your uncle’s story is heartbreaking, but it’s not a “gay thing,” it’s a toxic-relationship thing. Straight couples get manipulated, lovebombed, used for money, and stay stuck for 40+ years too.

Healthy, long-term gay relationships absolutely exist: stable, loyal, boring-in-a-good-way love. The problem isn’t orientation, it’s communication, boundaries, mental health, and self-worth.

Don’t let one tragic example convince you love itself is a lie. The red flag was his partner, not the fact he loved men.

[lightbulb27]

I've seen L be very good together.

have seen several G couples and frankly, never worked out or looked really messed up.

haven't known that many.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You had it right the first time. Gay relationships have all the same variable as heterosexual ones, including the potential for spousal abuse like your uncle suffered

[Massageman]

(Multiple) relationships have screwed up the live of one of my brothers-in-law something fierce. I can't speak for anyone else.