When do you feel most like your true self, and what brings that out?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

For me , It’s when I am sad.

It takes off all my protective mechanisms, all the lies I tell myself, all the delusions or positive reframing of reality I feed myself to feel good, and it feels like I finally meet myself.

And in that moment - It’s really me. Like standing in front of her and seeing her and being comforted in that quiet sad presence.

But that feeling is so overwhelming for me I am constantly racing to run away and hide from it or make myself feel better any way I can.

Though in the end, it always catches up and when it does, it’s strangely soothing, because you don’t have to run anymore.

[Tyler_with_Questions]

You’re describing something uncomfortable but true for many people: the moment the mask falls off is often when things hurt.

You’re essentially saying the “true self” isn’t the happiest or most impressive version—it’s the unfiltered one. That’s a mature take. A lot of self-help pushes the opposite: “Your true self is the joyful, abundant, high-vibe version—fake it till you make it!” Your post quietly rejects that as another layer of delusion.

But a word of caution. If sadness is the only time you feel like your true self, it could point to a lopsided relationship with your emotions. The integrated version of “true self” tends to be the one that can show up authentically in joy, play, anger, love, boredom, and sadness—without any of them requiring the others to be exiled first. Sadness strips the masks, sure, but so can genuine laughter, creative flow, or real intimacy if you let them. The goal isn’t to chase sadness; it’s to stop running from any of it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks!

[whosnumber_1]

The analogy is that you are climbing a hill while pushing a boulder. At some point in time you need to just free yourself from the boulder. Stand aside and let it roll down the hill.

Sometimes it takes pivotal is life to bring enough clarity for you to grow past your own barriers. A big part is recognizing the barrier and knowing that you want to make a change. Good work.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That doesn’t last long though, I am too optimistic and easily get caught up in those delusions again. Only to set myself up for being sad again. I wish I could just be sad and not get excited too soon.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Is taking a spontaneous trip a healthy way to cope with feeling sad? ↗

That’s what I do when I feel sad 😄

[whosnumber_1]

It's the challenge of learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Negative emotions are just as important as positive ones. Try to give them space and honor them for what they are.

[whosnumber_1]

Hey thanks for mho

[bobalife]

Everyday I am always me, but most me when I’m alone in my thoughts and feelings I buried. It is okay and healthy to process how you really feel. Sometimes, we just need to sit with the uncomfortable feelings to be okay.

[Agape93]

Honestly same. When my depression is really bad, I don't bother masking anymore, I don't tend to get angry or anything. I just get tired and want it to finally endnb

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How does it feel?

Is it triggered by anything?

For me it’s when I get disappointed , I feel sad and philosophical.

[Agape93]

Not really. And it's basically being numb. I don't feel anything at that point, just tired and pointless. I've been pulled back 3 times. 4th will be different.

[MrChinaski]

For me, it's knowing that I matter to someone. Genuinely matter. Not as a tool to achieve some objective in their life. Just as myself.

It takes a while to get to that. Honesty, plus trust built through intimacy and depth over time. And confidence that you can read them well too, that they aren't going to respond capriciously. Holding each other naked in bed helps to accelerate things.

Then after all of that they get to learn that I really am just still an 8 year old kid mucking around most of the time.

[thegreenyogi]

I think I feel my truest self when I swim in the water or when I write because those are the times when I allow my emotional side to run freely.

[exitseven]

When I am at the gym working up a sweat and things are going easy for me that day.

[LC75LC71]

All the time. I type my mind here and speak it clearly in my life otherwise. I do have filters, but usually disregard them.

[Nikki1989]

With my loved ones and my friends in general. I have a professional persona that I present at work every day, but it is not the real me.

[msc545]

I feel most like myself when I am practicing my profession and I am actively able to help others.

[Still-alive]

Whenever i feel like i really helped someone in need it tends to fulfill me so completely!

[Phoenix98]

All the time I never not feel like my true self.

[Anonymous]

Me too, sadness is the key.

[NathanDavis]

the colder the better... that's my element

[WhitneySnow]

Yeah that kinda makes sense

[123459876]

When naked