Is it really possible to learn to love something about yourself that you once hated? If yes, how?

[Mon1to]

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1 mo

the thing is, a lot of people love drowning in their own loneliness and I’m no exceptiontbh, I’m a bit of a poet, and poets love suffering so they have something to write about xdI used to overthink a lot, sometimes didn’t think at all and just acted on impulse (then regretted it) now I’m trying not to overthink stuff lightyears into the future ahaha

Updates

1 mo

ty all for the advice and the honesty

[ohsheeT]

Your not looking deep enough or maybe to deep.
Sometimes we are not supposed to see what we think others might see

We are supposed to feel what we see

It's like a heart we can't see it but we can feel it and understand it

And I also think we need to understand and love ourselves first before we do anything else

I have many flaws i can say that because I know I do
Ask me to name one I would smile and shrug my shoulders

Because I don't feel any of them right now in this moment of time so I cannot see them

Probably because it doesn't really matter to me there's more important things to care about and to try to understand

As long as I'm being the best that I can be that's all I ask myself I'm not going to pick myself apart

If something pops up I will think about it and it will just change because that's what I would want

For me everything starts within and if I was to pinpoint a flaw does it really matter is it hurting anybody is it hurting me or do all my other imperfections hide the one flaw so you can't see all the others

You cannot say you love yourself and have one little part of yourself that you don't love love is unconditional either change yourself or accept yourself

Because if you leave one piece of the puzzle out
It's not complete

And if it's not complete then that's like saying you have one piece of the puzzle in and 499 pieces out

I guess it's just how you see the picture of the puzzle


It would be easier to know what that part is that you don't love because I guarantee it it's lovable

But in order for it to be lovable you have to love everything

If you think it's a flaw nobody else sees it that way nobody else even knows about it until you would mention something

And in that moment that person might look at it and see the whole picture and say what are you talking about

Probably just like my answer to this question LOL I would still like to know what it is though

[Anonymous]

I don't know if you can, "love" it. But first try to understand that it's probably only if mostly hated by you. We are our own worst critics. And sometimes people say unkind things to us without thinking causing us to give more weight to something then we should. Secondly, understand whatever it is you find objectionable about yourself, that you're going to be YOU for the rest of your life. And God thinks that person is pretty spectacular. He knows the number of every hair on your head. That how much you matter. And God don't make mistakes. You're just as he made you, perfectly imperfect. So love and celebrate that. Because he made you with a purpose in mind.

And if what I've said so far isn't enough. At least understand you're not alone. Most people, even some of the people you'd look up to or put on a pedestal have felt or still feel the very same thing. They just do a better job of hiding it. And it's unfortunate. Because life is short but with wonderous potential. It really is a waste to saddle yourself with such worry.

[Mon1to]

thank you for sharing this, it really made me think
I believe you’re right
God created each of us with a purpose, he sees us as beautiful in our own way, even when we struggle to see it ourselves (sadly)
maybe learning to accept and appreciate that is part of the challenge

[RandomGirl42]

I've learned to love myself as a whole not the individual aspects of myself that I hated but have learned to accept. I had to work through a lot of shame to get close to that point and somedays it can still be a struggle but yes, it is possible to grow. 💖

[Mon1to]

I'm proud of you and your improvement! Good luck💕

[jennifer_bloom]

I used to be afraid of aging but now I do not fear it, because I feel people treat you better when you are older.

[Mon1to]

I think aging is something beautiful, it shows how much and what we've been through and that we are still going

[AI Opinion]

On GAG my aim is to help you decode love, starting with the hardest one: self-love. 😉

Yes, it’s absolutely possible. You don’t wake up one day suddenly adoring what you hated, you slowly rewrite the story around it. First you accept it, then you neutralize it, then you start seeing how it makes you unique, memorable, even attractive.

For example, lots of people hate their nose, scars, body shape, shyness, whatever. Over time, with repetition, compliments, and choosing kinder thoughts, that “flaw” becomes a signature. You stop obsessing, the shame fades, and it turns into a soft spot instead of a red flag in your mind.

It’s not lovebombing yourself with fake positivity; it’s choosing not to bully yourself anymore and letting affection grow slowly.

[HawkPerception]

I used to hate my curly hair. Now I've come to embrace it and its different aesthetic.

In terms of personality, I always used to hate how shy I was. I have worked on it through the years though and come to accept it, and the fact that shyness generally has a correlation to introspection.

[Mon1to]

curly hair is very unique
also
I am shy as well, hate it but I find it adorable when it's not about me xd

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Learn to accept it as a part of yourself, recognize that it served and is still serving a purpose in your life.

[Mon1to]

tbh it helps, ty for sharing!

[nomomrnice]

Can to be the same way because I do write music and it can be a lot of sad music but there is positive in it as well so I understand what you're saying seeing is just lower your expectations of the world and others around you to zero and you'll never be let down

[Mon1to]

oh wow
what kind of music?

[nomomrnice]

Rap @, mrarmi on rap fame app

[nomomrnice]

Mostly more positive than what's in the mainstream and I like r&b more

[Mon1to]

omg, that's very impressive
do u publish it somewhere?

[nomomrnice]

I share with people you can check it out where I told you to check it out no I'm not trying to get famous it's a release for me it keeps me from slapping stupid people

[Mon1to]

oh okay, but some people do deserve slapping

[nomomrnice]

There's no doubt about that that's how I grew up but these days the next thing you know you could be sent to prison for bowling or terrorism

[nomomrnice]

Bullying

[nomomrnice]

You'll find that karma will slap people for you

[Mon1to]

that's true
yk i dont support any kind of abuse but as I said some people are pain in the @$$

[Anonymous]

I don't really hate anything about myself and if there's something I'm not happy with I try to improve it, but I don't obsess over it.

[Mon1to]

I'm happy to hear that!

[thegreenyogi]

It is possible but it takes a lot of work and it may take many years. It's starts from processing the event that caused you to view that something about you that you hated, and then you do what you can to change perspective.

[Nikki1989]

Certainly, but one cannot transition directly from "I hate this" to "I love this" without experiencing a breakdown first.

[ella617281]

Yes, it is possible. I always hated how I looked but I would never call a girl ugly that looks like me when I would meet her on the street. I know it sounds weird but it really helped me to realize that I can love myself. I already noticed how much more pretty I got the moment I started to love and care about my body. It just gives a special glow to you if you are confident.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Self-acceptance should naturally (and slowly) improve over time, that is, if future life events help you in this direction

[FreyaRed]

I never hated myself but I didn't love myself either.
Emotions are secondary for me.

[NathanDavis]

therapy could help with that

[Mon1to]

would go if I could xd

[NathanDavis]

and why can't you?

[Mon1to]

people will think I am crazy, but I believe that mental health is as important as physical health

[NathanDavis]

which people? and what do you care about what people assume?

[Mon1to]

idc but in my country it's not considered what a normal person would do

[NathanDavis]

you can seek therapy online

and they don't need to find out

[Mon1to]

maybe one day, looking forward to it

[whosnumber_1]

My parents always passed the notion to me that therapy or counseling was for "crazy" people. And that's what I told myself all my life until one day I realized I was getting in the way of myself and my life and was truly miserable and started seeing a therapist. This lady is the absolute best. She helps so many people and has given me a new sense of focus on life. You should seriously consider it. I can tell you that everybody has issues, inner child problems. Everybody could use some counseling.

[Mon1to]

I've always wanted to visit a psychologist but I don’t want to end up with a psychiatrist xd

[whosnumber_1]

You just need to talk to a counselor. Someone with perspective. A counselor or therapist a lot of times will know your problem in and out and the root cause but they guide you to awareness and ultimately the answer. You have to walk the road with them for clarity. They ask the question and you answer the problem for yourself. Just do it. And like someone else said you can do it online.

[Mon1to]

my problem is that I am too aware of what's wrong with me
I just need help to fix it xd

[whosnumber_1]

So message me in private if you like

[NathanDavis]

this is often a common thing, but also the biggest trap...

"I know what my problem is, I just need help to fix it... but I can't afford it"

we convince ourselves that we know better, and we also convince ourselves that it is not within our reach to help it or help ourselves, and we just make and take every excuse to neglect ourselves

also very common to just ignore other things that we could actually work on... for example, the problems of the mind are never "just about the mind" and our physiology plays a big role as well, anything from changing our habits that are key like sleeping more and sleeping better, also eating better, at better schedules, and more balanced diets

getting out your room, or your house... reaching to friends, to family... or having a pet, taking care of a garden

volunteering to do something for someone, out there... getting a job, learning stuff and also making time to dedicate to something, to someone

even our gut bacteria can have an impact in our overall wellness but most people never really look into all of that

simple approaches and simple solutions are not the best for complex and complicated things like our mental health... but it is very easy to convince ourselves of doing less or doing nothing much about it

[Mon1to]

I get what you’re saying, and yeah, that can be true for a lot of people
for me though, I’ve always been more on my own
I have hobbies and stuff, I just don’t always have time for all of them
I do isolate sometimes, not gonna lie, and yeah it can be rough, but I manage it
It’s also just hard for me to connect with most people
I’m pretty selective, and honestly a lot of people around me just don’t really think the way I do or have the kind of mindset I’m looking for, so I don’t feel a reason to get close

[NathanDavis]

yes, I get that... and I understand completely because once, I was the same but a bit younger, and I was on my way downhill to way worse things

I could be perfectly fine on my own, I had hobbies, interests and more... to isolate and disconnect was my best skill too, more so because I would manage to make everyone think or believe or accept that doing that "was the normal and okay for me"

it wasn't

I was/am very selective, and while I can connect very well I would find reasons not to

if I had to guess and assume... I would also say that you probably think and overthink a lot as well... maybe it takes you longer to sleep at nights, and to get out of bed in the mornings... because you can't stop thinking about... things

[NathanDavis]

as for the other thing about mindset and "the way I think"

I get it, I felt the same, I was the same... but also, today... my best and closest friends, none of them have a mindset like I do, they don't think the exact way I do, they're not into the same things I am

sure, we have enough things in common... but not they are not like me, they are themselves... and they are great like that, and so I am...

and it was them who dragged me out... out of myself, to be more of myself too

[NathanDavis]

oh, I see in the update you're a poet now...

dramatic by nature

I think you'll be alright girl...

[Alex-Snow]

Good question. As we grow up and experience more of life and sex etc I'm sure it happens to some extent. HBU?

[Zionne]

yeah. Acceptance, and don't give care about people's opinion

[Staff2002]

Yes use to hate my height was self conscious about it. Before learning how to dress.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so, I hate most things about me.

[Mon1to]

that's kind of sad, sorry u have to deal with it

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for the support.

[Mon1to]

if u need to talk to someone, I'll try my best to support u

[ponderingpaul]

Yes, through cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance

[AngryCarl3]

Not love, but maybe accept.

[fish5505_87]

now that I think about it, I guess, Yes.