Is my boyfriend wrong for not inviting me to his family birthday BBQ?

[Anonymous]

So first of all I feel when you have a relationship and you have issues in your relationship you don't go running an tell your family everything all the time and because that only makes them lose respect for your relationship your other half and go against your other half and whether you choose to stay with your other half or not is soley up to you but if his family doesn't like you anymore and his family goes and throws him a bday barbq and you ain't invited to it and he's just ready to go wout u is that wrong?

[emeraldsaphire]

Like many things context is needed. Like how long have you been together, why doesn't want to invite you, how are things going outside of this problem, what family is being invited, where is the BBQ happening.

If I were in your shoes I'd feel hurt. To me when you are in a romantic relationship that relationship is your most important one. That being said I understand that nuance is a thing. Also him going to complain to his family about you is a HUUUUGE red flag. You never complain about your partner when they aren't there with you.

[Lliam]

Wow. If my partner talked trash about behind my back, that would be enough for me to dump them because it would demonstrate total lack of loyalty and respect. I couldn't trust them to have my back. In fact, I would consider them to be a back stabber.

This guy acts like a little girl, running to his family with his drama and tattling. Men don't do that. And partners talk things out with each other. They don't bitch behind their partner to others, especially their family, and harm their reputation.

I think you know what to do. Kick this guy to the curb YESTERDAY not TOMORROW. Find a real man.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Yes, problems in the relationship should strictly stay between the couple and not discussed elsewhere. Talking to others leads to taking sides and that makes it more difficult to maintain the relationship.

2. You didn't mention whether you have been dating 2 weeks or 2 years. The answer about the barbecue depends on the state of your relationship: how long, agreed to date exclusively, taking about getting married, actually engaged, or what?

[Asker]

2 years

[Asker]

Just dating but I was close to the family at one point... then It just got bad because he always runs n tells them everything like I'm the bad guy..

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you expecting his behavior to change?

[Asker]

No I'm just hurt n wanted an opinion I see it for what it is...

[OlderAndWiser]

If I had been dating a girl for even two months, we would be dating exclusively, and she would be invited to all family events. This guy is not relationship material and you should leave his ass!

[Asker]

I agree!

[OlderAndWiser]

If you agree that ending it is the best option, then you should accept that you really don't need to get answers to the other questions, because those answers won't change your decision. That means letting go and moving forward. Are you ready for that?

[Asker]

Well this is a little motivation because trauma bonding is real and has been a rough road.

[Agape93]

No. Some things are meant to be family only. As a girlfriend, you're not family yet.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship drama and spot the red flags before they explode in your face 💥

You’re right: oversharing relationship problems with family can totally poison how they see your partner. But him going to a birthday BBQ where you’re not invited, and just accepting it, is a big red flag.

He might not be “cheating,” but he IS choosing comfort over defending you. A boyfriend who’s serious about you sets boundaries with his family, even if they dislike you. If he’s okay celebrating without you, he’s showing you exactly where you rank in his priorities, and it’s not cute or romantic at all.

[Asker]

Thank you ! This is realize... we aren't going to be a " relationship " much longer... this ship is sailing...

[Asker]

*This I

[AviatorTom]

Sounds like he doesn't view you as his life partner. If he invites you, that's what his relatives will think, and he doesn't want to give them that impression.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

It could go either way. I think the biggest factor is how locked in are you guys? Has it been a strong few months, a weak year? Something else?

If I thought my girl and I were going to be visibly not getting along at a family gathering and my family has only met her a couple times then I'd do the same

[msc545]

If you don't go, you're gonna feel bad, and if you do go, you're gonna feel bad. Either way, you're gonna feel bad. Your boyfriend is a shit for not inviting you, but if he happens to invite you, make sure to turn him down. That's the only way you get out of this dilemma.

[lightbulb27]

I agree with you. He's not handling the relationship maturely.

Yes it's wrong, at least bad and others see it as a sign relationship is not going well.

[Asker]

Right !

[queenofcardio]

That’s something you should discuss with him. Address your feelings and try to work it out.

[Anonymous]

No, maybe his family is not yet ready to meet you.

[Abbycado]

How old are you that you can’t answer this? Ffs. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Asker]

Old enough to know that ur opinion isn't relevant to my question... I know what it is I just need opinions so take ur negative energy elsewhere.

[Bricealan]

My thought is YES is is wrong!!!

[Bricealan]

... yes. he is wrong!!!

[Nikki1989]

So that is not your real age on here?

[Asker]

So is ur comment answering the question or needed in this app?

[Staximus]

It sounds like the relationship is over

[StephanieChick111]

Yes, that is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Then dump him break up with him

[Opinion Owner]

Can i give you a piece of advice someone i deeply truly love gave me a few times... don't expect others to have the same heart as you. Don't expect to find yourself in others. Other people won't have the same heart as you

[Opinion Owner]

If he's not giving you the same kind of energy you're giving him then dump him

[Anonymous]

How long has he been your boyfriend

[Asker]

2 years

[Opinion Owner]

Well, then he should be inviting you to his family parties

[Asker]

Right !

[Opinion Owner]

You probably better talk to your boyfriend and find out what’s going on. That’s very rude. Especially after two years like he’s not proud of you or something.

[In_Trance]

no he isn't