Is it wrong to hope my married work crush’s relationship fails?

[Anonymous]

Him and I never talk outside of work even though we met each other before we worked with each other. He’s made posts about the conversations we had at work like the jokes we made to each other but he’s been married now for at least 3 years and has a 2 year old and no longer works there. I’m secretly wanting them to break up and him swoop in and tell me he missed me. Besides being completely delusional on my part. Is it wrong to still be holding a torch for a fake relationship so I don’t get in my feelings and message him?

[Screenwriter]

Yep. Sadly, it is delusional to obsess on a non-relationship. And it's mean to wish for someone's relationship to fail.

You've got to get yourself on a better path by engaging with people who are available to you outside of work in healthy ways. There are easy ways to meet people through Meetups which focuses on doing things with people who have similar interests.

Forget about a guy who was never seriouly interested in you ever, who never asked you out. If you need to, engage a therapist to work out why you're stuck and work through this.

I believe you're avoiding looking for a real relationship for whatever reason. Good luck.

[Account]

Yes that is wrong.
I don't fully grasp the feeling of envy and malice, it doesn't come natural to me to figure that out.
But I am almost certain that such feelings bring a lot of misery and unhappiness.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It's an extremely selfish thought. Objectively.

But that's just a thought, not an act.

And I'm not going to be your thought police. I won't. Because it would be morally wrong for me to do so.

However I hope you'll find less appeal in that thought and grow out of it. Good luck to you 🍀

[OneViewpoint]

That is going nowhere for you and the probability that your wish comes true is likely near zero. The question is, how much of your life are you going to waste avoiding the truth before you get on with finding someone with a high probability of working out for you?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to be that slightly flirty big-brother coach who tells you the truth but still makes you feel cute about it 😉

It’s not “wrong,” it’s just human. Crushes are emotional glitter bombs. The problem isn’t the fantasy, it’s feeding it. He’s married, kid, gone from your life. Treat this like a protective daydream, not a mission. Don’t message. Let this be your sign to redirect that energy toward someone actually available and emotionally safe for you.

[Zally]

It sounds like you had an opportunity and did not take it. If you keep holding that torch. You will be the one that gets burned. I held a torch like that for someone for 10 years and a few months and even if I held it for along time. In the end I was still the one that got burned. Trust me, let it go.

[whosnumber_1]

For the son that wants a mommy and a daddy. Best to move on a find someone new. Having a 2 year old is difficult times in a relationship. They need a lot of support. Ya know that old saying. It takes a village to raise a child - well it does. You should move one graciously

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

It's not exactly wrong. It would be wrong for you to try to undermine this guy's marriage by seducing him, or forcing a wedge between him and his wife, or whatever. But the thoughts and feelings you have are just thoughts and feelings. they're harmless, as long as you keep them to yourself.

But sitting around hoping that this guy's marriage is going to fail, probably isn't good for you emotionally. You should try to get your mind off this guy. You should see who else is out there.

[jazzy34]

"Besides being completely delusional on my part."

There you go. You answered your own question. Leave that married man alone and go after someone single.

[loveyouoak]

Forget about the married guy and find a single guy.

[Nikki1989]

Not only is it wrong, but it also reveals the extent of your miserable character.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

That’s a pretty shitty thing to wish for, yes

[beenherebefore]

If you have to ask, yes this is wrong.

[tiredandgrumpy]

you are a horrible person to think and want this

[Staximus]

Did you know him before he got married?

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, that’s cold 😒

[jahaims]

You ate mentally ill

[jahaims]

are*

[In_Trance]

Lame. Move on