Is it a red flag if a guy ended things because he wants to keep his female friendships than build a good relationship?

Question

Not that you asked him to choose, but it’s what he said and his mindset is at… while his female friendships has history of him being flirty with them and he knew it made you uncomfortable. So trust gonna take time to build while having reassurance,

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

Did he really tell you this? It sounds the biggest load of bd ever heard in my life.

He either wants to bang one of his female “friends” (but I’ll give him credit for not cheating) OR he’s got some bizarre (honestly gay) complex.

Just thinking if the roles were reversed. I’ve had women give me every bs pathetic bs excuse in the world when it comes to rejection and / or break ups. But I’ve never heard a woman tell a guy that she wants go build her “friendship” with one of her guy friends.

Hunter-40m · Accepted Answer

İf ı start a relationship I make sure the previous one end for good leaving no space for doubt

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to decode relationship red flags and help you stop wasting your heart on the wrong people 💋

Yes, that’s a red flag. He basically chose access to flirty “options” over building trust with you. You didn’t force an ultimatum; he still picked them. That means emotional boundaries aren’t a priority for him. Believe his actions, not his excuses. You deserve someone who protects your peace, not your paranoia.

ohsheeT · Answer

That is a man that is manipulating you he wants you to be a friend so he can do the same thing with you

When a man meets a woman he is thinking he wants in her pants you both have to be responsible and think ahead and know who that person is if you get into a relationship with him will it really work and if you're honest with yourself and you say no somewhere in the future will not work so then you have to wait both situations out want in her pants or wants friendship the guy who picks once in her pants the relationship will only last so long and then end and never see each other again but a guy that's honest with himself will say okay I know it's not going to work in the long run so I choose to be her friend and that friendship last a very very very long time but you don't flirt you are actually really good friends if he's flirting with them then he also wants in their pants still yes it's a red flag

Master_Debator · Answer

I'm going to say yeah... I mean, he's already ready to get rid of you to keep them.

I'm a dude, so the way I'm looking at this, is it's just like when a girl wants me to be in a relationship with her, but she wants to keep talking to all these dudes that obviously just want to fuck... she says they're just really good friends, ... just nice guys, ... I'm just jealous and controlling.

No surpirse from me when a fight finally happens that one of these "friends" gets to fuck her raw dog... doesn't work out and she comes back to me asking me to forgive her. I'm not surprised... would you be surprised? We all know what these so called "friends" really are. They can lie about it all they want, but everybody knows.

So he ended it with you so he can keep them? better now than after you figure out something happened. Probably doing you a favor by letting you go first.

Is it a red flag if a guy ended things because he wants to keep his female friendships than build a good relationship?

msc545 · Answer

Even if you didn't make an ultimatum, it feels like one to him, apparently. You need to be aware of that when you are trying to deal with this situation. I would suggest to you that it's not so much the metrics of the situation that make a difference as it is his perception that you are trying to control things that he doesn't want you to control. That is telling him who he can and can't associate with. If you want to keep your relationship with him, I would never again mention who he does or doesn't associate with, and I would back off from this completely and actually apologize for it. That will go a long way toward helping you maintain your relationship with Him if that is what you want. I think that, barring that and barring an apology, you should probably just simply walk away from this, as you are not going to get the exclusivity that you seem to need and want from this man. Even if you were to continue to fight him about this and you were to ultimately prevail, that victory would be an illusion. He would always resent you for this, and you would never have a normal relationship with him going forward as a result of that.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Personally I see it as a  huge  red flag.. If a person has liked or slept with these "friends" in the past I would not be comfortable dating that person. If he blatantly told me he is gonna keep friendships I feel uncomfortable with I would never consider dating the person.

Screenwriter · Answer

It sounds like his female friendships are essential and valued relationships in his life. I don't think anyone should ask someone to discontinue relationships with others because those relationships make that person uncomfortable. They're platonic relationships and he finds them enriching.

I think their discomfort is they believe a man should only have one female relationship other than his mother and sisters, and feel threatened if a man has other females as actual friends. Also, it sounds like his flirtatious behavior makes her uncomfortable.

But no one has the right to tell someone who they can have as friends or how they should act with their friends. Their discomfort is a problem within themselves.

He ended his relationship with this particular woman because she didn't understand that his friendships with his female friends were no threat to her. And he could build a good relationship with a woman who does understand this. Not her.

beenherebefore · Answer

Yea, his girlfriend is not a priority to him. Maintaining a friendship with a woman who's flirty is unacceptable. My Partner has a female best friend since college I'm perfectly okay with that relationship and I've seen with my own eyes how their relationship resembles the same you have with siblings. She's married now and I never suspected any flirty behavior from both sides or that something more than just friends had happened. I did distance myself from a male friend that used to make my Partner uncomfortable for the sake of our relationship and I do not regret doing that at all and I'll distance myself from any friend who bad mouths about my Partner.

Smegskull · Answer

Probably no more than a man getting dumped in the 90s meant she was a lesbian.

I also don't think "Red Flag" is the appropriate term for this even if it was a problem. Red flags are things to look out for to protect yourself before/when starting a relationship... Not a coping mechanism to use when you are ejected from a relationship.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Someone choosing to maintain genuine long-term friendships over a new relationship isn't automatically wrong. This is a nuanced situation, and the honest answer depends heavily on what actually happened beneath that stated reason.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Red flag depending on what. If it comes to our relationship then yes that's a red flag. But if just wanted to be friends then it also still depends on how compatible you are being friends with him. People would of course just assume anything if you're just hot but in reality, you're not always anyone's type.

NathanDavis · Answer

if he ended up something, before it was a problem... that's just weird but that's probably because he's made it a problem with others before... lol

Kelley1 · Answer

That is not going to happen because, even if that is the reason, he is not going to tell you. Instead, he will stop calling and/or give you whatever excuse that sounds good.

MrChinaski · Answer

Right. Either he wants to shag around, or he's scared of intimacy, or he's just not that into you. Or some combination of the above. Let him go.

CriminallyInsane · Answer

It's an indication he wants to keep as many options open as he can

LiamJHayden · Answer

My best friend is female and she has been since my fourth birthday. If a girl I am dating wants me to ditch my most faithful friend who saw me through the deaths of both of my parents then the insecu new girlfriend is th red flag and

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

In a serious relationship, a man must respect his love's whishes and does what makes her comfortable plus if a man has female friends and he's engaged to a woman than flirting is prohibited!

jshm2 · Answer

In other words, he'd rather keep his "options" than commit to one.

Rangers · Answer

The uncomfortable truth is he'd rather pursue things with them than you. Don't feel bad, there's plenty of single men who want to meet you

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I don't understand why he can't do both. Since when is a relationship a prison sentence?

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

so he gets into a new relationship while begging to stay connected with his previous partners. what a fucking Beta!

Still-alive · Answer

If he agreed to stop being flirty and does it anyway thats the red flag. Shows he can’t keep his word

DishLady · Answer

Yeah of course it is.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Yep major major red flag let him go you just dodge a bullet!!!😉

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, probably not a red flag, maybe a yellow flag.

exitseven · Answer

he has the hots for one of his so called friends.

Jay-_- · Answer

I see it as a red flag but thats just me.

dudeinohio · Answer

Yes it is a big red flag.

AgentG111 · Answer

He's a player or trying to be.

Caurav1997 · Answer

Babe are you ok? can I call you?

Godihateyou · Answer

Its a black flag. He does not want you

Blacksnake285 · Answer

Na he got some new azz. And it’s phat

WhitneySnow · Answer

Huge red flag

Is it a red flag if a guy ended things because he wants to keep his female friendships than build a good relationship?

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