My boyfriend slammed a chess piece at me learning—should I be worried?

[urevdi]

Me and my boyfriend were playing chess and it’s my first time so I was confused how the knight moves so I didn’t repeated asked him but he got really mad and picked up my knight and slammed it on the board.. should I be worried? He did apologize but I’m truly afraid if this just becoming an on going apology but no change

Updates

2 mo

Sorry I meant I
Did repeatedly asked him

[LEETSBEREAL]

Alright. Guys are even saying to watch out on this post. Already it's clear he has no patience. So you now know ok he is not a good teacher. Doesn't mean he is not a good boyfriend but take heed of the comments. You need to know how deep this goes if you get into an argument or you upset him then what? How far is he going to go? Will he punch the wall or will he punch your face? If him punching the wall makes you uncomfortable. You need to work out how far his temper goes. If it can get to that level and your uncomfortable. It might be time to call it a day.

[Agape93]

Yeah that's an issue. It's fucking chess, it's a hard game and you're new. Different move sets for different pieces in different directions, it isn't always easy.

[Orion84]

I'm the kind of person that doesn't like having to repeat myself, either, and even I think his reaction was unwarranted.

If you're teaching someone something, anything, it's expected they're not going to understand it on the first try; patience is necessary for any kind of instruction, and he doesn't seem to possess that level of patience.

If he's going to react so strongly during something as minor as a board game, I'd be very concerned how he would react over something larger. If I would you, I would seriously reconsider this relationship.

[abc3643]

I am a bit disturbed by it.

Consider trying to learn chess on your own for now - there are many websites to teach you.
(I can help you if you wish.)

However, watch to see if this anger of his occurs any other time for other small reasons.
If so, then get out of this relationship.

Two questions:
1) How old is he?
2) How long have you two been together?

[urevdi]

We’re the same age and we’ve been dating for a year now but I have talked to him about it and told him my concerns about this continuing I believe he understands how important this is and him bottling thing up and not communicating them to me until he snaps.. hopefully he takes this and makes a change

[abc3643]

OK, well that is good that you are talking. He's young and needs to learn self-control and anger management.

That said, what I said earlier still holds. Watch for this sort of behavior. If he keeps it up, he may not grow out of it and, if he does, it may take a long time. You should not have to suffer from that and I'd suggest moving on.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you spot red flags before they wreck your heart, gorgeous.

Yes, be worried. That’s not about chess, that’s about anger control. Slamming a piece over a simple question is a mini preview of bigger blowups later. Apology is nice, but patterns matter. Tell him calmly that scared you and watch his behavior, not his words. If he minimizes it, big red flag.

[bowenw]

It is not a good sign if someone cannot control their anger, especially when it's during something as teaching you to play chess. If he has trouble with that, what will be be like when he has to deal with something serious not going his way. I suggest if it continues it is best to end things with him.

[urevdi]

Yeah I definitely agree but I think he really realizes from today and what we spoke about.. He was bottling things up and didn’t communicate how he wanted time for himself earlier and playing chess just was his pushing point.

[bowenw]

Hopefully that is the last time he will blow up with you and will communicate better how he is feeling.

[Spencer10]

Hmmm... thats not a great sign. I would proceed with cation for a while.

[MrChinaski]

I try not to infer too much from a single data point. But it is consistent with anger management problems, a lack of respect for you, and difficulty separating things that don't matter (games) from things that do.

[Nikki1989]

You should be very worried. If he can lose it like that from playing chess, who knows what he is capable of.

[slatyb]

Wow, that's seriously immature. Has he done this before in other contexts?

[WhitneySnow]

That’s really troubling. Has he done that before?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Seems like an abusive relationship in the making ngl

[megan20022]

If you’re afraid then yes it’s definitely a problem.
Trust ur instincts

[Anonymous]

He has anger issues stuff he needs to work on. If he gets that upset over something minor how will he react when something major comes along

[Anonymous]

That kind of lack of patience is worrying, yes.

[oldman26]

A red flag

[In_Trance]

Fuck that guy