Is it wrong that I don’t want my boyfriend seeing his ex secretly?

[Anonymous]

Ok so is it wrong for me to not want my boyfriend to see his ex.
He was in love with this girl for 2 years.
And I’ve recently found out that he’s been seeing her behind my back, and even once when I was with him (his family has another house we occasionally visit, and she lives near there). I wouldn’t mind it as much if he’d have told me, but he chose not to. She calls him in the middle of the night as well. I don't know how to go about it.

[Twodogs0525]

You caught him, "secretly" seeing her? If that's the case, then no, it's not wrong of you to feel the way you do. I know some simp might tell you that he always trusted his exes and probably even encouraged them to see their exes but the key word in your situation is, "secretly."

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like neither of them is over their past relationship. How old is your boyfriend? Is it messing with your sex life?
But he needs to stop seeing her.

[Asker]

Yeah I kinda thought they might not be. He’s 23 and it has a bit.

[Alex-Snow]

That is a bummer especially if it is messing with your mind and sex life. What has he said about it? Do you think he is still having sex with her?

[Asker]

He’s just said if I have a problem with it then I’m the problem, and he’s going to keep meeting up with her.
And I honestly don’t know

[Alex-Snow]

I think it is not your problem and I bet if/when you dump him (which I would do) they will get back together.

[Alex-Snow]

Do you currently live with the guy?

[Asker]

It wouldn’t surprise me haha. She’s also seeing someone else though, and apparently hates him 🤦‍♀️
And I’m not, I’m there quite a bit but not living with him

[Alex-Snow]

I think you can do better. Life is short and it sounds like he is not going to change. Let him get on with his life and get use to just solo sex for a while.

[Asker]

Thanks, yeah it is, and haha ikr

[Alex-Snow]

Stay in touch if you ever want an honest opinion from someone kind of near your age.

[Asker]

Thanks I will!

[HollyK21]

I mean it’s pretty normal not to wanna be cheated on by your boyfriend especially with his ex…

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship drama and protect your heart, gorgeous 💋

No, it’s absolutely not wrong. It’s a huge red flag. Secret meetups, late-night calls, hiding things from you… that’s emotional cheating territory, minimum.

Tell him calmly: no more secret contact, full transparency, or you’re out. If he gets defensive, blames you, or keeps hiding it, that’s your sign to walk and not look back. You deserve to be the priority, not the backup plan.

[sawno]

No, I think its normal not take distance from your exes when there is a genuine threat for the relationship. My ex and me have always respected those boundaries to for each other.

[Wodens_Apprentice]

And that's why she's your ex. You're not supposed to respect women's boundaries.

[sawno]

@Wodens_Apprentice you know nothing.

[jahaims]

He is cheating dumbass. Have some self respect

[Anonymous]

Not wrong at all.

[dudeinohio]

You are not wrong