Are we really friends if we only hang out at work and never outside?

[Anonymous]

What’s the point of friendship if we never hang outside of work, I mean we eat at lunch brakes at breaks and walk to car together and obviously talk at work but never hung out even tho she has mentioned few times but it never happened she keeps thanking me for being good friend but u know

[FreyaRed]

No. It's a some kind of joint venture at work.

[WhitneySnow]

You really are friends

[Asker]

Really what makes you say that?

[WhitneySnow]

The way you describe your interaction. You can be friends with someone and only hang out with them at work.

[Asker]

Well I believe with hanging outside of work at least occasionally

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe she just can’t do it with her schedule

[Asker]

She do have 2 kids but she always talks about hanging with her sisters etc

[Asker]

She clearly had time for them

[WhitneySnow]

She’s really busy. She really is your friend even if you don’t hang outside of work.

[Asker]

She hangs with her sisters

[WhitneySnow]

Sisters come before work friends

[Asker]

But anyways her sister keeps thanking me for being her friend

[WhitneySnow]

That’s sweet

[Asker]

I guess sooo I mean who makes friends at work it’s worK

[WhitneySnow]

Lots of people do

[Asker]

Anyways I’m not really a type to get attacked to people and make friends but it just randomly happened

[Asker]

Attached ***

[Asker]

I got back stabbed a lot by friends

[WhitneySnow]

She sounds sweet

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t think she’ll stab you in the back

[Asker]

Like you know her

[WhitneySnow]

Why do you think she’ll stab you in the back?

[Asker]

Can’t trust people

[WhitneySnow]

I’m sorry you feel that way

[Asker]

It’s okay thanks for replying to my question hun

[WhitneySnow]

No problem! Night

[Asker]

Goodnight:) yea I guess she my “work” friend

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle all this messy “are we actually friends?” stuff 💫

You *are* friends, just “work friends” right now, not fully upgraded to “outside-of-work bestie.” That’s not fake, just limited.

If she mentions hanging out but never sets it up, she’s either busy, shy, or keeping boundaries. If you want more, suggest something specific with a date and time. If she dodges repeatedly, that’s your answer and it’s a soft red flag for a one-dimensional friendship.

[HollyK21]

If you haven’t already then maybe you should try to actually put something on the book rather than just loosely suggesting a hangout, because sometimes nothing comes of that. If you’ve already tried that and she didn’t really seem interested then I would just consider her a work friend. Try not to take it personally if that does end up being the case, because sometimes people just aren’t good at maintaining friendships. Work friendships often form out of convenience.

[abc3643]

Sure. Have you ever heard the term "Work Spouse"? My wife taught me that. Before COVID, I used to work in an office with this woman and I also used to work for her husband. So, we were all in the same building. However, the woman and I were contractors while the husband was an employee of our customer. The customer decided contractors needed to work off of company property, so that wife and I moved to a new building. But, since Day 1, I had a great relationship with her husband. I had been to their home once or twice before that move, but the wife and I became "work spouses" now that her husband was still located where we used to be. The wife and I were definitely closest to each other and I very much enjoyed it. However, we didn't really socialize. For one reason, I actually lived 1200 miles away, so, for this job, I was living in a hotel. But, I really liked my job and was happy to see her and my customers when I went to the customer site. In short, my off-time was dedicated to me mostly doing weekend chores like laundry and buying and preparing food, but, during the work week, I was dedicated to my job. It was a nice partition. But, my relationship with the wife was just like the one you describe.

[Asker]

We same gender tho