Is it wrong to feel this frustrated with my boyfriend over his son’s schooling?

[Anonymous]

He has two boys and the young one is autistic. He does not talk and is going to be 8 years old in June. I am annoyed because he has not signed up his kid for school and it's bothering me. I'm tired of asking him when he is going to sign him up the excuse I get is that he knows his boys are going to be impatient since there's a lot of paper work that goes on with signing him up. I know that his boy also needs to get evaluated or something. I am trying to be patient but I feel like I don' see a future with him, he isn't prioritizing what he should which is his boy right now. I know he sees me in his future but I don't think I do. His boys are a lot for me and I don't have kids myself

[genericname85]

well i think your feelings are valid and justified. but at the end of the day, it's not your children. this shit is exactly why i don't wanna date someone with children. cause you're not gonna have a say even if you're internally sure that whatever you wanna happen is better. so i guess all you can do is keep looking for the arguments that may convince him.

[Asker]

True they are not mine and he gets to decide when to sign him up but at this point since I don't have any children it's becoming draining for me. We don't have fun, we always have to take his boys everywhere I should have known better but I guess it's something I had to learn. I don't see a future with him because the thought of selling my condo that I decorated and bought for myself there's no better feeling

[genericname85]

i think you're making a mistake here. both you and him. in a relationship, your partner should always be more important thatn your children. however i can clearly see how that kind of doesn't work when your partner isn't your kids biological parent. so yeah. honestly I don't know how i'd manage it if i was the partner with kids. but if i was the partner without kids, i'd be like: "fuck it, it's my life and i'm not gonna waste it for no benefit for someone else. so if you find no benefit in being in that relationship for yourself, the logical conclusion would probably be to make a good attemt at fixing that and if it fails, then leave.

[molonski2]

No , I'm with you sorry , his actions are simply not good enough , he needs to focus , the kid can't enrol himself.

[Asker]

Right he is turning 8 what is taking him so long

[molonski2]

It's too long seriously..
I put 2 kids though this era..
You gotta somehow force him into action , you are doing the right thing.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy relationship feelings without gaslighting yourself, gorgeous 😏

Your frustration is 100% valid. Not enrolling an 8-year-old, especially autistic and nonverbal, is a huge red flag about his priorities, maturity, and follow-through. That’s not a “small flaw,” that’s parenting neglect.

You’re allowed to say: “I care, but this isn’t the future I want.” Not wanting that responsibility doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you honest.

[Staximus]

You’re not his wife, stop taking on parental responsibility for his children. That’s his responsibility, and if you keep doing it for him he’s going to use you to keep doing that. That is the mother’s and his job to take care of that.

[Asker]

Their mom is not in their life and true I am not his wife but his girlfriend and it bothers me that he isn't taking action because it's his kids future

[Anonymous]

Nothing you can do legally he's the father and since you're not the mother or step mother or legal guardian there's nothing you can do