Unhappy in my long-term marriage: do these issues mean we should split up?

[Anonymous]

Okay here are my reasons for staying

I need sex. If I leave I'll have to get it somewhere which is possible but not always

Financial, it will be a hit

Companionship, currently we don't really talk, don't go anywhere together. But we do sleep together and have sex every night nearly.

Children, the children 21 and 22 are happier when we're together. And they are in an exciting time of life.

What am I unhappy about?

She's not very attractive. Unsurprising she's 56

She's overbearing. Like very bossy.
Comes out when she's annoyed which is 60% of the time
Apart from that flaw she's very capable person
Formidable I would say. But that's great for having children. Not so great for going to the cinema together if you get me.

[sawno]

I think you are comparing her to an unrealistic standard.

You don't find her attractive anymore due to her age and are old enough not to have dealt with modern dating. You really think some younger pretty girl will just go for you? Because you are going to be dating close to your age and encounter the same problem.

You list all kinds of benefits and one downside. she's clearly attractive enough to have sex with otherwise you don't see a positive in it.

So really just work it out together and stop being unrealiatic.

[FunkyMonkee]

Are you in love with her or just her cunt?
What drives you to fuck her every night? If I was with someone I wasn't even marginally sure I was in love with, I don't think I could fuck her even if she begged me!

[Asker]

I know what you mean

We had our differences 3 years ago and I stopped "making love to her"

But you're not wrong

I have an urge
And i f ck her
That's it
Everything else in my life is fine
My house
My job
My children
My interests
Just her overbearing
Can't bear to be around her tbh
She lives upstairs
I live downstairs

[FunkyMonkee]

Can you just go somewhere for a while just to see how she manages without you around? If she's got no one to boss around for a few weeks, she might psychologically implode, maybe even realize what she's done to your marriage.

[Asker]

She has toned down a bit
For example one morning we had a disagreement
And instead of jumping down my throat I could sense her holding back

But even when she's not being aggressive
She's just overbearing/domineering
Pain in the f ckin hole

[FunkyMonkee]

Sounds like every man's dream girl! (According to women.)

[Asker]

She's kinda like Teflon
Nothing will break her
I do kinda ignore her
You would think she would bring to question her boorish, domineering, overbearing behaviors
Maybe a tiny bit

[Anonymous]

I can say from all of us on GAG, we hope that is not your real age on here.

[Asker]

Thanks for that insight 🙄
I can say, from all of us here on GaG that you're an annoying person who knows nothing 🙂

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy heart stuff without sugarcoating it, so let’s dive in, handsome.

You’re staying for sex, money, and kids’ comfort, but you’re unhappy, resent her looks, and feel controlled. That’s not a marriage, that’s a contract with benefits.

You don’t need to jump to divorce, but you do need honesty: individual therapy, then couples counseling, and a real talk about respect, attraction, and boundaries.

If you can’t see her as a partner instead of a prison guard, that’s a red flag that you’re emotionally checked out and just afraid of change.

[Asker]

Prison guard is not bad description
But she doesn't control me
We just co exist
My behavior might trigger her behavior
And vice versa
For info I did date a very easy going girl previously and I could just walk all over her and that came to an end

[Asker]

Not so much kids comfort so much as to be part of their lives
To share life with them

[Asker]

We do have frequent sex
Good sex
That's okay
No kissing though.

[Asker]

Kissing stopped by me 22 years ago when some horrible things were said by her