Do men feel intimidated dating a woman who earns more than them?

Question

I've been wondering about something and I'd really like honest opinions because I'm not sure if I'm overthinking it...

Do some men genuinely feel insecure when they're dating or interested in a woman who's doing very well financially or is more successful than they are? If so, why does that happen? 🤔 Is it something most men eventually get over, or does it usually affect the relationship?

I'm asking because I've noticed this dynamic and I'm curious whether it's common or if I'm just reading too much into it. I'd really appreciate hearing both men's and women's perspectives.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

The truth is... it's just pattern recognition. Women who earn a lot tend to prefer men who make as much or more than they do. It's a biological predisposition women have to seek provider men.

And there is a dominant-submissive dynamic in relationships. Women generally prefer to be the more submissive one in the relationship, whereas most men generally prefer to be the dominant one in the relationship.

If I knew the woman wasn't judging me at all for how much I make... I mean like not even a thought about it... not affected by what her peers say, etc. and that she was just with me for me, then I'd have no problem dating a woman with a high income.

However, when women have a higher income, they also tend to have more masculine traits and tend to be more dominant, which again... the majority of men aren't a fan of. It makes sense that they have more dominant traits because higher income jobs usually require more leadership and less agreeableness.

Are there guys who are intimidated by it? Absolutely. There are many types of men out there. But I personally think for the most of us, it's a preference for less dominant women and lowering our chances of being with a woman who will lose interest in us as we're not meeting her standards financially.

Do I think there are women with higher incomes that do not judge? Absolutely. But I would make an educated guess and say that demographic is a very small percentage of women.

This lady does a pretty damn good job of explaining it in my opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Y98pJIVejFk

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

Mostly no. A very small minority of men might take issue with a woman who earns more, but the vast majority simply don’t care at all how much their partner earns. Only jack*ss females who constantly make a big deal about how much more money they make rubs guys the wrong way. When those dudes get sick of the attitude and scram, the women who refuse to acknowledge that they are their own problem have to invent that nonsense about men being “intimidated”. That goes for almost every scenario in which women throw that term around. Men are generally not intimidated by women at all under any circumstances.
At least that’s how it used to be. These sissified younger generations… wouldn’t surprise me a bit to find out that they pee a little every time a woman makes direct eye contact. Ell oh ell!

confident666 · Accepted Answer

I have found out that some men feel intimidated by this even if you earn like 30% more, it's sad...

nastyb · Accepted Answer

studies show that they do. but men would never admit it though. it hurts their pride

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to decode relationship weirdness so you don’t blame yourself for stuff that isn’t yours. 😉

Yes, a lot of men feel intimidated when a woman earns more. It hits ego, old-school gender roles, and their “provider” identity. Some guys level up and admire it, others start subtle power struggles, distance, or passive-aggressive behavior.

If he’s secure, it becomes a power couple vibe. If he’s insecure, it becomes a long-term red flag. You’re not overthinking; you’re just observant and a little dangerous in the best way. 💼🔥

ohsheeT · Answer

According to the polls on here I guess so but for me now it doesn't even matter money is a great thing to bring to the table but there are much deeper better things that are more important to bring to the table

abc3643 · Answer

Some men are and for good instinctive reasons. However, a lot of men are fine with it - especially if they love the woman.

Like Travis Kelce... He makes a lot of money playing for the NFL Kansas City Chiefs... but he doesn't make Taylor Swift money.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Offcourse there is a sense of competition there always will be with any person in the family it could also be with siblings or cousins.

Most people value themselves with how much they earn and if they earn less than there girlfriend it would not sit well with them.

But if your feelings are strong it would go away depending on the women as well how her behaviour changes when she financially grows.

It all comes down to how humble and considerate a person can be the treats and dinner should be planned in such a way that the other person can afford it.

Also do women really engage with people that earn less most of the time they seek higher value men they think if they can earn so much the man should be able to do more..

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I think it's something only insecure people would find an issue with, that sounds awesome, dinner is on you homegirl 😂

Staximus · Answer

Most women will never date or marry a guy who makes less money, unless that woman makes so much money that a man’s income is irrelevant

Nikki1989 · Answer

I am sure some might, but I have never met any man with those insecurities.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I don't feel insecure, but intimidating yes... Plus, i'll only pick a woman who loves to become a housewife after marriage, i won't have to deal with such issues!

valentina4eva · Answer

i think it really depends on the man🤔🤔 for some men, esp like older/traditional its important for them to be the "breadwinner" type thing🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous · Answer

It hasn't ever been seen as an issue with me.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Depends on the guy. Some do, especially older guys. Others don’t care.

genericname85 · Answer

why is it the only reason on a womans mind for a man not to prefer a girl is "intimidation"? it's really curious how women always gravitate towards that word. as if they're trying to invalidate it from the getgo as if to snuff out any sort of deeper conversation about it from the getgo.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Many do but it doesn't worry me

My exes both outearnt me being adults (18) to my 16
My first girlfriend made £192 a week, I made like £300 a month
My second girlfriend made about the same as me at least... oh but she'd inherited a quarter million

Kaneki05 · Answer

Probably a decent amount do, but I don't. If anything it's a perk cause they aren't looking to me for money that I don't have.

LC75LC71 · Answer

I haven't cared outside of knowing she's going to spend a lot on me.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I never did. I was out of work when I met my ex-fiance and she was a waitress but she only worked 2 or 3 nights a week and made money in just those couple nights than I eventually made in a week a year or two later.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Nah. But if that’s the case it better be clean money. And she better not ask me to pay for her to get her hair and nails done.

msc545 · Answer

I don't think it would be an intimidation so much as an embarrassment. I've never been in that situation, and I would like to think that I could tolerate it, but the truth is that I might not be able to.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Some secretly do feel intimidated while others don’t care just as long as you have a job.

dudeinohio · Answer

A little, because I thought my ex wife would have held it over me. That never happened though.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Some men might feel embarrassed, but they shouldn't. I don't think "intimidated" is the right word

admles · Answer

Nope, doesn't bother me in the slightest. Despite what women think, it doesn't bother the majority of men, only a small minority.

jahaims · Answer

Depends on the guy obviously

kinks1951 · Answer

Some do, but they shouldn't

Nihilist__ · Answer

Since i am sub, it is okay

Looser_Shah_98 · Answer

No my love ❤️

Anonymous · Answer

No...

Anonymous · Answer

I mog you, stay mad

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