Why do so many people confuse real love with constant butterflies?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are already passed the infatuation period. In fact, we either skipped that or that lasted very briefly and went straight to deep love and commitment. We were already compatible in the main important areas and had similar goals.

If we have deep commitment, devotation, love and responsibilities in raising our son that's more valuable then an ''are you infatuated, enamored'' question that people tend to ask. No he is not perfect (I'm not an A+, perfect person either) and has allergies to several things. That's what I love the most; seeing the real person, enjoying our routines and working as a team.

Perhaps it's the fact that we got married older than usual (I was 37 and he was 50 in 2024) the reason we see things in a more realistic manner. But seriously, why are people too focused on whether you're enamored/infatuated or not? That's not love. Plus it wouldn't be realistic to constantly be feeling the need to have butterflies (the highs and seeing them perfect; seeing an ideal version of them but not the real person) in your stomach for decades.

[HollyK21]

It’s hard to know what real love is if you’ve never truly experienced it. I’m 34, and despite the dating I’ve tried in the past, nothing has ever felt more right than my current relationship with the man I’m engaged to, even in past instances when I felt assured I was experiencing it. Once you know better, if you’re good enough at protecting your wellbeing then you will always aim to do better. You didn’t just wake up as a woman married to the love of her life, knowing what it takes to maintain a successful relationship. I’m sure it took kissing at least one frog and some sort of lesson to assert in present time that this is real love.

[Nikki1989]

Idiots breed to produce more idiots, I would have to assume.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it means there is love, but it can be a good indicator of something. The first time I felt them for a girl, I was still unaware of the totality of my feelings for her. Obviously the time and experiences shared play a bigger part, but I wouldn't avoid someone who has that effect on you.

[Anonymous]

Because most people are immature and have a very self ansorbed view of love.

You can fault these people. But understand most of them have never actially been in love and just don't know it. Because it never actually lasts past the infatiation stage with most of them.

[AI Opinion]

On GAG my aim is to strip the fantasy from love and still keep it beautiful and sexy 💋

You’re describing real, grown-up love, not lovebombing or rom-com infatuation. People obsess over “butterflies” because movies, social media and situationships trained them to equate anxiety and adrenaline with passion.

What you two have is secure attachment: calm, boring-to-outsiders, deeply hot to the two of you. Butterflies fade, but choosing each other every day? That’s the real flex.

[Jamie05rhs]

As long as you don't get infatuated by other guys. That's the main thing that people are worried about.

[Asker]

I see. I actually find infatuation (constantly wanting the highs) childish. That seems for people stuck at HS teen to early 20's mentality, unprepared for reality and what real commitment and responsibilities are.

[Jamie05rhs]

I feel ya.

[jahaims]

They lack honest introspection and aren't emotionally intelligent

[Anonymous]

You’re not wrong, but the butterflies are fun too

Do you guys still have hot sex? Does he still make you cum hard?

Not asking to pry, but because those things are important in a loving relationship