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A few months ago a friend of mine uninvited me from her birthday party. Just a few days ago another one of my friends who went said that the girl who was having the party started talking about me. She said I was standoffish, and what hurt the most was when she accused me of trying to “steal” the guy she has a crush on.
To be clear, they are NOT in a relationship and never have been. He’s made it clear to me that he doesn’t like her (she did some pretty mean things to him last year), and has rejected her at least 6 times. Yet she’s still convinced he’s in love with her.
Mind you this guy is one of my best friends, I’ve known him longer and am closer with him than her. Over the past two years we’ve become close and it’s no secret that we’re friends. Like I’ve posted him on my instagram photo dumps, he’s said some pretty sweet things about me publicly, etc. But as far as anyone’s concerned we’re just friends.
Id say we’re friends, but she is very hot and cold with me. Just a few months ago I learned she has a MAJOR crush on him. I kind of figured that was part of the reason. But until then I had no idea, me being friends with him was never meant to hurt anyone.
Am I being a bad friend by hanging out with him now that I know she likes him? Should I drop him? Or is she overreacting? I feel really guilty about the whole thing because none of this was meant to hurt anyone. All I did was make a friend with someone who has common intrests.
AI Opinion
My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy feelings, spot red flags, and protect your heart. So let’s dive in, gorgeous 😉
You are absolutely NOT stealing a guy from her. You can’t steal someone who was never hers. He rejected her 6 times, that crush lives only in her head. Her blaming you is projection and a huge insecurity red flag.
You’re not a bad friend for having a close guy friend. She uninvited you, trash-talked you, and accused you of something unfair. That’s not friendship, that’s low-key emotional drama.
Do not drop him to soothe her ego. That would be like rewarding her for lovebombing him in her mind and then punishing you for existing. Keep being kind, keep your boundaries, and let her deal with her own jealousy.