Does a woman realize controlling behavior and phone snooping destroy her chances of marriage?

[ChicanaChick]

I was just reading about a controlling woman getting upset her boyfriend changed his PIN on his phone because he didn't like her snooping (which she found nothing) around on his cell without asking.

She even almost tried to slap him for changing his PIN and he told her next time she tries that it's over. She's only a girlfriend, they have no kids and already giving nothing but trouble? Sharing passwords with someone you're only dating and have no kids with seems creepy to me.

Does she and other women acting like that realize it's now unlikely the boyfriend will ever propose in the future? Even if things get better and she stops getting all aggressive, that woman will be placed in the "forever girlfriend" category, where the man is then waiting for the to ditch if he finds someone else that never gives jealous nor trust issues. Most women want marriage one day and that's one way of killing the chance of the boyfriend ever proposing.

Updates

10 d

Plus fewer men are proposing for obvious reasons and they're getting betting with their vetting process so ladies that act all jealous, all controlling to a boyfriend... stop that. That would mean he already has an idea how she would be as a wife in the future, already saw the big red flags.

[Anonymous]

Seems creepy to you. Not everybody thinks like you. I’d have no problem sharing my password with my boyfriend because I have nothing to hide. Some people also see a relationship as a bigger deal than you seem to do. Not everybody thinks you have to be married or have kids for it to count or be serious. If I’m in a relationship with someone then that’s because it’s serious for me - I see a future (marriage, kids, house etc) with them, and treat them accordlingly (and also expect to be treated accordingly).

[ChicanaChick]

Then we just think differently. A boyfriend has no business having my password. I apply the same to myself too. I don't want a boyfriend's password and in a relationship there should be trust. I would already assume he's a mature adult and if he really has something to hide then that's his problem. I'm not going to spend time snooping around. If there is no trust, the door is open.

[Anonymous]

I would say most women that need to look through their partners phone aren't looking at a very long marriage anyhow should they ever find a guy willing to marry her.

There's no need to look through you partners phone if they never give you a reason to doubt them. You have to trust your partner if you're going to be with them. And they have a responsibility to make you feel safe. And you should be able to voice your concerns. If this a routinely a problem for her than maybe she needs to consider her choice in men. It always kills me when a woman says on this site that "the last 10 guys have all cheated on me". Because what is the common denominator in all 10 of those relationships? I won't keep you in suspense, it's HER! I know women don't like to hear that. But if this is that frequently a problem you clearly are not getting to the root of the problem. If you keep choosing cheaters, yeah him cheating on you is kind of inevitable.

[slatyb]

Those women only want to marry a man who will comply with their demands. If they search long enough, they will find one. They aren't that rare.

[ChicanaChick]

yeah in that case, I can see that happening if the man either has mild autism (previous known as Asperger Syndrome) or she were to stumble into a gullible 40 year-old virgin that struggles socializing with other and doesn't know any better, that falls in love with the first woman that ever gave him the time of the day. Basically they will then take advantage of the innocent man right there that has no experience, get marriage and kids from him and play him like a violin. Sad cases.

[Nikki1989]

If a man hides passwords, changes pin numbers and the like, it is time to find a new man. He is CHEATING, GUARANTEED!

[ChicanaChick]

In that story, the woman admitted to snooping around several times (until he eventually caught her) and never finding anything. She's always been jealous in the relationship, constantly being needy.
What if you're not cheating but the person is constantly snooping around and always insecure?

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship dynamics so you don’t get stuck with walking red flags in disguise. 😉

You’re 100% right: that behavior is controlling, abusive, and a massive marriage-killer. Phone snooping, jealousy, almost slapping him? That’s not “love,” that’s a preview of a toxic marriage.

Smart guys absolutely downgrade women like that to “never-wife” status. Trust, respect, emotional control – no ring without those.

[EmmaMary]

You could very well be right with this assumption.

[ChicanaChick]

Yeah I've seen this happen before with a cousin. She was similar to that woman I've read about here (minus the attempted slap) and even when she did improved, she was then left wondering why he won't propose after 6 years. They broke up after she realize he wasn't going to ever marry her nor give her kids.

[Agape93]

Dunno. I dont snoop or rifle through my partners shit, because i, ya know, TRUST my partners.

[ChicanaChick]

Exactly. If someone has to snoop around then there is no trust. If there is not trust then there is no relationship.

[Agape93]

Exactly

[NathanDavis]

people still manage to get into the worst marriages... regardless, lol

[MrChinaski]

All people choose how they avoid intimacy. She chose hers.

[Anonymous]

If a guy has fallen completely for a girl, he will yield to her requests.

[Anonymous]

lol 😂 sounds like a cheater

[ChicanaChick]

She found nothing when she snooped around. He got upset at her behavior and simply placed boundaries.
I think it makes sense to ask if your partners wants to check your cell. Ask instead of secretly snooping around and then getting all aggressive when caught and boundaries are placed.

[Opinion Owner]

He ain’t husband material , I bet he ain’t virgin