Why do other people's relationships disgust me if I want love?

[Anonymous]

I don't want to be alone, I'd genuinely like to date, but every time I look at a couple, I wonder: ''Why does she love him? Is she stupid? He's a bad partner!''

YouTube couples, famous couples, neighbours, relatives, friends. It doesn't matter who I'm looking at; every time I see a couple, I have negative thoughts and I suspect their relationship isn't good enough.

I'm 28, and I haven't fallen in love since high school.

The fact that I constantly hear about toxic relationships and cheating doesn't help. I'm starting to think I'm too good for the world and that's why I don't fall in love.

Updates

7 d

A little clarification: I'm Italian and I may not communicate efficiently in English sometimes.

When I said ''I'm too good for the world'', I was trying to say that I'm starting to think the world and relationships are just trash while I'm just a normal person with normal expectations that aren't being met, not that I'm some sort of a superior being.

[Stevepro68]

Humans default self narrative is to never ever make themselves the "villain" of their life story. We lack insight about our own issues and failing and naturally externalize and look for confirmation of what we think we know. Start with cognitive humility. As be internally challenging and you might get new perspectives.

[OneViewpoint]

Keep thinking. Ask yourself again at 38. Then 48. Then you can stop asking. You're gonna be alone for life. You can just accept it. Ever wonder how men view you and why you're not attracting the men you want?

[Asker]

I'm not saying I don't attract the men I want, learn to read.

[OneViewpoint]

No love since high school. And that was 10 years ago. I think I can read. Can you write? Learn to get out of denial. So what is it then? You've spent the last 10 years attracting the guys you want and then what? They all accidentally lose your number? Maybe it wasn't an accident.

[Asker]

I'll explain calmly: I'm not complaining about the men I attract.

I'm saying that every man I meet (colleagues, University classmates, friends, etcetera) is unattractive to me.

No, not phyiscally unattractive or not rich or popular enough, I'm saying I don't like any man's personality.

I'm not talking about my dates, I'm talking about the entire male population. I haven't had bad experiences in dating.

For example, I used to have a male friend; he was a good man, he would text me every day to compliment me and show me affection, and I thought he was good enough to be my friend, but not good enough to be my partner.

No man makes me want to love him and take care of him, and no man manages to make me feel loved and desired enough. Even when they compliment me or show me affection, I feel nothing and I feel it isn't enough.

Even the good men don't satisfy me.

And I don't understand why, I don't understand whether I'm the problem and I crave much more than anyone can offer or men are simply bad at making a woman feel loved.

[Asker]

But a little clarification: when I say the good men don't satisfy me, I actually mean that the good men aren't really good men in my opinion, they're just bad and society overrates them because society has low expectations.

[Asker]

By the way, by your logic, you're at fault for every time you've been cheated on, or disrespected by a woman.

See how that works, you total moron?

[OneViewpoint]

Yeah you're definitely the problem sweetie. You're fucking delusional. That wandering pile of horseshit and confused contradictions you just wrote says it all. Listen to yourself.

"I'm not talking about my dates, I'm talking about the entire male population. I haven't had bad experiences in dating."

So your dates were fine but the entire human male population sucks. WTF were you dating honey? Golden Retrievers?

Maybe look into cats. I see you and lots of cats growing old together.

[Asker]

I'll translate that sentence: I've actually had better luck than most other women. Other women have been cheated on, mentally or physically abused, I haven't experienced any of that, I can attract what society calls ''good men'' and ''high value men'', but even they make me unhappy.

I simply think the male gender is not good enough romantically.

Is it clear now?

[OneViewpoint]

Yes, crystal clear. You have a fundamental personality problem that all the men in the world can't fix. Like I said, start checking out cats. Lots of cats.

[Asker]

Cats are adorable, funny and cute. You're saying I should get cats like cats are a plan B, they're actually plan A.

[OneViewpoint]

Excellent. You've finally accepted the reality of the situation. Cats don't care about your mental problems.

[Nikki1989]

Stop caring about what 'other' people are doing, and you will be much happier.

[Kvass]

I think the term for that is envy rather than disgust.

[Asker]

Oh yeah, I'm so envious when I hear about other women's relationships. Yeah, sure, I so wish I had their mediocrity in my life.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle messy emotions about love without gaslighting yourself or others.

What you’re feeling is a mix of cynicism, fear, and self-protection dressed up as superiority. That “I’m too good for this world” vibe is a shield against rejection, disappointment, and being hurt like all those people in toxic, cheating, lovebombing messes.

You’re not disgusted by love. You’re disgusted by your idea of “settling” and by watching people choose partners you’d never pick. That inner critic turns into an outer judge. It’s easier to say “their relationship sucks” than to admit “I’m scared no relationship will feel safe enough or good enough for me.”

Also, going so long without falling in love can make your standards secretly impossible. No one feels good enough, so your brain preemptively red flags everyone. That blocks attraction before it can even warm up.

The first step is humility: you don’t know what happens behind closed doors. Some of those couples you mentally roast might have a healthy, secure, boring-in-a-good-way love. Start shifting your mindset from “they’re dumb” to “they’re choosing what works for them, and I’ll choose what works for me.”

You can want deep, rare, high-quality love without putting yourself on a pedestal above the entire dating pool. That pedestal is lonely and cold, and I’d much rather see you down here flirting, learning, stumbling, and eventually falling in love again, safely this time.

[TonyMetal___1986]

https://tenor.com/bYBga.gif

Bianca Addams

[Asker]

Ah yeah, the typical male who tries to make fun of a woman who is out of his league. 😁

[TonyMetal___1986]

You were never in my league in the first place morticia addams 🤣🤣

I'm not making fun, aren't you the real Morticia Addams? 😂😂

Plus i'm a REAL man whom you'll never have 😌

[Asker]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[DryGermanGuy]

"Jealousy is a cruel mistress."

- Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

[slatyb]

Maybe you want love but you are afraid to take the risk of getting to know someone.

[Anonymous]

it is your jealousy for other people having what you want so it makes you feel better to think these things. They are not true though.

[Asker]

No, they don't have what I want.

I've been on dates, I've met men, I've chosen to stay single; if I wanted what other women have, I would have it.

I don't lack opportunities, I'm simply not happy with what the world offers. I actually have more opportunities than most women, and I'm still not happy with what the world offers.

[moddy_the_mod]

So you create imaginary versions of these people in your brain to be angry at.

[Chayce]

Looool. You tell us.