Why are people ok with loveless relationships?

[catarecute]

i am not sure if maybe its because i am french but i could never date someone i dont love yet everyone else is doing it.

[caring__1]

People make decisions for their own personal reasons. Those reasons won't necessarily make sense to others, but they make perfect sense to them. If something doesn't make sense to us, we won't make that decision. Sometimes people get in relationships for security or prestige or power or in order to prove something, or to avoid being alone, or seeing it as giving them access to something more important, or just wanting to be a parent and not interested in being a partner, or a simple solution for warming their toes on a cold night. Let's say you, as a straight person, can't understand how someone could be in a same sex relationship. Just because it doesn't make sense to you, don't assume it doesn't make sense to others.

Sometimes it can be due to different definitions for common words. For instance, some people may define love as sex, while others define it as a special connection. An asexual person may be perfectly happy with a platonic relationship. Always make sure to learn how people define important words rather than just assume their definitions must be the same as yours. Sometimes one person may be satisfied, as his/her needs are being met, and there is no thought about whether the partner's needs are being met. In other words, "I'm meeting my needs, so you should meet yours."

Sometimes people don't discover until after they commit that something significant is missing in the relationship. This often occurs as a result of people pretending they're one thing (in order to get chosen), though not expecting to maintain that thing after the other person is hooked (ie maintaining a career or staying in shape). In these situations, some people see starting over as more stressful than just tolerating what exist. Some people are very uncomfortable with change of any kind. People tend to gravitate toward what is familiar, not necessarily what is functional.

[whoknowsb]

or sometimes people don’t want to feel more, or are afraid to do so. Like, all i all, if they are happy that is no one else’s business

[Kris31]

I think there's bunch of reasons.
First would be people don't like to be lonely and can't learn or handle being alone.

A worse one is that you get someone so you can drag her / him around as a trophy to show off because that's the kind of character you have.

Next one on the fly that comes to my mind is finances like moving in together with someone you date just because living expenses get halved.

From personal experience I think it's terrible all of those above And I couldn't live like that. Like sure I'm from time to time lonely alone after my break up but I wouldn't date anyone just for above mentioned stuff.

[nastyb]

because you don't realize that most relationships do change over time.

If everyone divorced every single time their feelings changed... there will be no families. Everyone will be divorcing... families will be broken everywhere.

you can't go through life thinking that you will throw away a relationship anytime you feel like it... you will just go through an endless cycle of partners through life. you're constantly trying to look for someone better than the last.

there will be no such thing as family if you keep changing husbands.

you will never get married if you keep trying to find that "perfect man".

Because in the vast majority of cases, the "perfect man" doesn't exist for most of us.

Not everyone is going to find their soulmate or prince charming.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t know.

For me it’s important to have deep feelings with someone I am with.

[CoolCatMar1]

Exactly

[Daniela1982]

Like in "How deep is your love"?
https://youtu.be/XJMF8R5NDoA?si=cd0Ps10v1XDoplt1

[Bruce24]

Maybe they where in love in the begining but somewhere along the way the love Faded and they just stayed with each other. Because of children or thinking thats the best that they can do. Also it is hard to find a good partner, someone that will commit, stay loyal and somewhat responsible. One think to also keep in mind is the honeymoon fase last about 5 to 8 months. It's not that they aren't in love any more after that fase it's just the fact that they've became comfortable with each other. Not having the desire to cling to the other like they did at the beginning of the relationship. It's not a bad thing that that fase is over it just the fact that they have are secure in a long term relationship. But they should still love each other. If they don't then there probably doing it for the kids or the old saying the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know.

[ProbablyClueless]

I've noticed that a lot of people drift through life. They do a lot of things that they don't really want to do because it's not an actively unpleasant thing for them to do. They make lots of decisions like that and just lose track of the years.

[catarecute]

i have seen this life is short and its unfortunate that most people fall in love with people who dont deserve them.

[ProbablyClueless]

Don't deserve them, or they simply aren't on the right wavelength. I think the concept of love languages is so interesting because you could have two people who appreciate the heck out of each other but express it in totally incompatible ways.

[catarecute]

don;t deserve them if they reject someone who love them. they better off with someone who dont love them instead abd leave that person find someone better.

[Kudos4U]

In American culture, lust has taken priority over love. People want instant gratification because they don't want or can't handle the responsibility of a genuine stable relationship.

Its like gambling away your money because slot machines are more fun than stocks.

[catarecute]

its because of the legal system. the laws on stalking are stopping people falling in love. in france stalking isn't ilegal and people still send flowers love letters and chase the person they are in love with and don't get arrested and one day they get married and are in love. in america you send one two many text and you end up in prison for 5 years.

[prakhindev92]

Hook up culture , i really do not wish to opinion! , But! , the car who has run too much doesn't have value over time , but the driver has value , because he drew a lot of different cars , you know , i could have said it nasty , but I am gonna be a little decent😊

[catarecute]

but again the car would not lose value if it didn't have drivers willing to use them up for their own gain.

[catarecute]

and the car doesn't have much control of the situation as it is being manipulated.

[prakhindev92]

That is why the owner has a single key , the master key , for their own use , which the car submittes to! their own paired key , and in another case , acar ignites and starts running everywhere with different owners with different keys is a bad car , the car is not manipulated , it's just the key! , Key in different sizes and shapes , car which tends to try and run , and ignites on various situation is a bad car , it can not to chose to ignite and run , realizing it is not my paired key , but it does run , different keys , bad car , still i am being decent , if you know ! , You know 😉

[catarecute]

well comparing women to a shitty old car i dont class this as decent. women are not cars they are submissive as this is their nature and they want to please men but men can be dicks and take advantage of women. just like an entitle rich guy who would neglects his car and buy a new one. men are entitled and dont value what they have until they lose their licence and can not longer drive.

[prakhindev92]

Ha ha typical woman , from all that , all you could get was i compared car with a woman , let me ask something , dont these kind of women can't know, and think for themselves if some body is manipulating them , yo this dude might gonna misbehave with me i think i should keep some distance , especially if she is with someone , that is not manipulating , she just made a choice , and like you said women are submissive as their nature and they want to please 'men' , not her 'MAN' , not a single man , by the way an old car is classic not shitty , and a car is not a bad word unlike , slut , whore or other unrespectful words , men respect cars and bikes

[prakhindev92]

Men dont lose license , they just keep on getting good at it while keep on driving , and learn to do it careful and smooth

[ohmyguy]

like which ones

how do you know

what about all the hidden love compartments

people stuff those to the rim

and because people aren't show casing public physical forms of it flashing it around like a digital store light for all to. marval at.. doesn't seem unfair to claim its loveless

[Daniela1982]

You don't date a person you love, you date people to find out if you share values. Then after dating a while you may find out you are in love, but it isn't after a few dates.

[catarecute]

false you love them first then you date them or you might never be in love.

[ronaldo75]

Real relationships are rare these days. Today people just want a body to say they're "going out with" but in reality it's window dressing. People are too self-aborbed in social media and their own desires to truly commit to another person anymore.

[Hanrej]

Because it's comfortable. Love makes a relationship difficult. It needs constant care, thinking about eachother and trying to read minds for one or the other not to feel like love is lost and it's time to move on.

Exhausting beyond reason and stands in the way of your self care and improvement.

[allaboutyou2]

Some people "don't want to be alone" but when you are with someone who doesn't love you can bring the worst feelings of aloneness.
One doesn't have to be by one self to feel alone.
I don't have to be in a relationship or even be loved by another to feel love, I love myself, who I am, how I treat others etc. Loving yourself is the one important step to finding true lasting happiness.

[Samhanks]

I can never be Ok with loveless relationships ! Relationships not based on love tend to go sour because the person who does not love me in return can easily resort to hurting me, displaying anger, showing resentment, etc. or at any point of time, start hating me? Who would like that>? You expect to get back what you give out. If i give out Hate, I will be hated.

[Fireguy17]

To them it's better than being alone.
It also could be because that is the environment that they grew up in, so that just seems normal to them, they don't know anything else which is very sad.
Life is short, why not be happy.

[eds99]

Without love there is no heartbreak when it's over... Let's face it in this day and age nobody makes it. I used to believe they did , my wife and I made 24 years and she cheated and lied about it and. As far as I knew she walked on water and would never hurt me she showed me what true heartbreak is.

[StormChaser838]

when you mean " loveless ", what do you mean ma'am, a relationship without affection for each other, or a relationship that is celibate?

[shadowarrior99]

Personality difference -- some people are very emotional and care about love and some just dont. As someone who loves very deeply , it's strange to even considered something like that, like it's just business

[lightbulb27]

define love...

and what are those deep feelings really?

and is that really true?

[catarecute]

love is true its a gift from god. when i love someone i feel a divine energy in my heart. love is from heaven lust is from hell.

[lightbulb27]

god is love in my definition, is that yours?
so love is coming from love? Where does those feelings come from?

[catarecute]

God is God the love is caused by a chemical in the brain so its related to science. in a way but god created science so god created love. its 2 in the morning here normaly i would write a huge essay on love but right now i am too tired. but as in conclusion love is related to spirituality, science, society and even the legal system when you think about all the people who couldnt control their love and ended up in prison for harrasment. then the legal system in related to good and evil and some might say its punishment on earth so it is related to satan who punishes. its also related to society. society is highly influenced by the media normaly not for good intention but for things like money which itself is related to greed who is behind greed satan. its all interconnected but love normaly is a pure feeling that leads us to do good.

[lightbulb27]

I see truth in that. I also found this along the way...
Attraction is sub conscious familiarity. In other words... those "feelings", which may feel like love are resonance to another that is familiar. It's deep and it's fast... not thought. I think you are right those feelings are "good" but they can also be bad and very hard or painful. E. g. opposities draw, or wounds draw. you know the stories... "my father would drink and my parents would fight. why did I pick a guy just like my father"? That... is love as well. it's broken love. Now there is value in that love, in that the collision of those two people will expose deep wounds which enables the wounds to heal, thus love... God is resonated. But it can be so painful people are incinerated emotionally.
So... to answer your question, I wouldn't want a loveless relationship. But I'd be careful what kind of love is going on and I'm not sure what perfect love really is.
Isn't love more of a choice than a feeling? Did Jesus have incredible feelings for his followers or did he choose to love us by strength of his father? It's maybe some of both...
Loving the unlovable... now that's tough... but ya can have feelings for them too. ex.. I do, I have feelings for people who are down, because of where I came from inside.

[catarecute]

the word attractive and attraction are dangerous as they have nothing to do with love. they are mainly used by the media and fashion industry to get people to purchase makup clothes plastic surgery and beauty treatments. love is cause by a chemical reaction in our brain and its all done subconsciously.

[inhua]

love can only exist when the two partners are physically attracted to one another

[nastyb]

then i assume you will throw away your wife once she gets older.

[Juxtapose]

@nastyb who says you can't be attracted to old ladies?

[catarecute]

@Juxtapose your basicaly saying ugly people dont deserve love cause noone is attracted to them. thats absolut bullshit cuz the french president is in love with an old lady that some people find unatractive.

[Juxtapose]

If I want a platonic relationship I already have friends lol.

[nastyb]

@Juxtapose

personally i wouldn't be married to a guy who would throw me away once he loses his physical attraction towards me. that kinda guy is not husband material.

[catarecute]

@nastyb i agree thats why they are often single or abusing their wife.

[Juxtapose]

@nastyb never did I say I would do that but here you are, putting words into my mouth.

[inhua]

@nastyb you can make whatever assumptions you want but I wouldn't play this game of moral superiority if I were you.

you yourself couldn't romantically love someone you weren't sexually attracted to

everybody is shallow to a degree and there's no shortage of wives who divorce their husbands after their husbands lose their jobs, begin balding or letting themselves go

either way loyalty is a masculine trait, not a feminine trait and this notion that men replace their wives/girlfriends for younger wives/girlfriends completely misses the context of these spouses having an attitude that can no longer be tolerable after their looks fade and there's no incentive to be loyal to someone who won't be loyal back

yes it may suck but the fact of the matter is, the less attractive someone is, the less margin of error they have and the higher the standards are placed upon them

[nastyb]

@inhua

[everybody is shallow to a degree and there's no shortage of wives who divorce their husbands after their husbands lose their jobs, begin balding or letting themselves go]

no. only you divorce your wife upon her 40th birthday. there are plenty of men with morals who know their wives are worth way more than her looks.

[inhua]

@nastyb men rarely ever file for divorce. women file for divorce 80-90% of the time. men are treated as disposable commodities the moment they have no value to anyone. women who stay loyal will be reciprocated with loyalty. insisting a man stay loyal to his wife is considered manly. insisting a woman stay loyal to her husband is considered abusive

now explain why wives are replacing their husbands more often than husbands replacing their wives. perhaps maybe the wives are actually the shallow ones in the marriage and not the husbands

[nastyb]

@inhua

wives are divorcing their husbands because he's cheating on her with younger women. she has every right to divorce him

[inhua]

@nastyb most husbands don't have the ability to cheat. they lack options to do so. only husbands who are top tier men have the ability to cheat

still lesbian marriages end in divorce far more than heterosexual marriages which is also more than gay marriages. you might want to rethink pointing the finger at men when the stats show men don't have a loyalty problem like women do

[nastyb]

@inhua

you just said that husbands will always dump their old wives for a younger hotter chick.

so why wouldn't she divorce him for cheating with a younger woman?

[catarecute]

men are such cheats every single one of them but if i was married to a man i love i would let him cheat as long as he doesn't bring me an std. if you love someone you will stay with them no matter what. women who dicorce their husband for cheating dont love them and neither does the husband.

[nastyb]

@catarecute

Nah it just means she respects herself enough not to be mistreated by her partner. Some people like you dont respect yourself and will stay with a piece of shit that kicks them in the face, lie to them, tear them down, but they can't get go because theyre too weak

[inhua]

@nastyb I never said husbands would dump their old wives for younger women. this is pure speculation on your part. men are not the ones with commitment issues like women are

there's plenty of plausible deniability on the behalf of women in what they regard as unfaithfulness. openly flirting with another man isn't considered cheating, sending nudes to an affair partner is not considered cheating, the affair partner not ejaculating inside of her is not considered cheating

men don't try to pretend what is and what isn't cheating the same way women do and this may shock you to know that men are actually more inclined to fall in love with a woman's personality more than a woman falls in love with a man's personality.

a man needs to provide some sort of positive value equal to or greater than the options a woman has for her to stay loyal to him. a woman needs to not provide any negative value to a man's life and he'll remain loyal to him. that's the difference

[nastyb]

@inhua

a man who places too much emphasis on physical attraction WILL DUMP his wife once she loses her looks. there is a differnce between enjoying physical attraction versus being soly OBSESSED with physical attraction.

I am most attracted to men in their 25-35. what if i told you that i would only date a man if he is between 25-35 no matter what. I will not give anyone out of this age range a chance regardless if if am 30 or 65. does it sound like i would stay with you until you look like shit at 50?

[inhua]

@nastyb most men aren't obsessed with physical attraction much less dump their wives for losing her looks. if he were to do so, it's likely because she cheated on him and he found out. men can tolerate more bullshit from women than you give them credit for. disloyalty is something they can't stand

you've already made it clear in past debates you won't date anyone above a certain age limit. it won't make a difference on how it sounds regardless of how old you are because you care more about age than the person himself

[nastyb]

@inhua

you're definitely obsessed with looks. I see an old man who only dates women at least 20 years younger than him as a RED FLAG. As a young lady, I steer clear of dating those types of shallow assholes.

[inhua]

@nastyb oh please. don't give me this nonsense about looks and age obsession when you've already noticed the man's looks and age yourself

if it were a young hot man with a young hot woman, you wouldn't have a problem but because you see an "unattractive" man with a young hot woman, it burns you deeply that she isn't as shallow as you are and doesn't think the same way you do

[gayesblog]

Are they? Actually I don't believe that I can be ok with loveless relationship :(

[Jkgordon]

A lot of people just want to be 3D have a mate one that pay bills a reg sex partner someone to talk about at work phony family conversations

[Nik1hil]

Well its is better than an empty house and asking questions like, "What is your favorite color?".

[strateguy632]

if they share a home, better room mate than move out.