Why do I feel like I don’t deserve a loving relationship? Every relationship I’ve had seems to be very abusive in every way. How can I change this?

[Anonymous]

[kylee2437]

I agree with @MrOracle. A lot of times this happens because you are relying too much on a man’s potential vs what he is actually giving you.

[MrOracle]

You need to move more slowly, and thoroughly vet the guy BEFORE you commit to him - and if at all possible, have a man you trust - your dad, an older brother, an uncle, a mentor, etc. Men are much better at detecting bullshit from another man then women are.

But more than anything, you need to prioritize your selection based on his morals, values, and life goals, NOT his looks, money, or how exciting he is. I don't mean that you have to date a troll, but you also need to realize that, generally, men who are handsome, popular, exciting, or very wealthy, tend to also be not so great at relationships. Not only are the frequently self-centered, but because they also have endless opportunities with other women, they are rarely faithful. And if they are those things, they definitely won't change.

Pick a solid, "average guy" with good morals and values, and a bit of ambition, and build a life together. That path is far more likely to lead to long-term happiness.

[spartan55]

Stop picking shitheads and raise your standards.