I'm wary of talking about it with him because he confuses me a lot. When I first started talking to him he would confide in me his likes for this chick who has a boyfriend, who he'll never get with but he has/had a crush on. Anyways he always talks about girls. I don't know if he does this to seem cool, make me jealous, or what. We're open about everything, we share porn, talk about our sex, talk about what we like and don't like. We have a lot in common, and I'm the girl that is basically one of the guys, which is why I think he talks to me about everything, including girls.
I like rock, video games, sports, sex, I don't take shit from people (maybe I'm a little intimidating), I hang with the dudes, I'm horny a lot, but he knows I'm not a slut because I only have sex with him. Sometimes he acts full of himself and other times he'll seem self-concious about how he looks.
He complains to me about being single but claims the only good part about being single is "doing anyone he wants." I find it hard to believe he's doing anyone other than me since I talk to him all the time. How often are guys full of shit and how far do they go to make a girl jealous? What is their motive?
I'm the cool chick who's easy going and doesn't put any pressure on him. But I'm scared to break it to him that I feel more for him than just friends because I don't want it to change our friendship if he doesn't return the feelings.
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First, OMG. My world is pretty small, I guess, but I'm surprised. But I'll put that aside to give you an answer.
Since you say you love him, I'm guessing he is a very good friend, though he sure doesn't sound like one to me. He talks about "doing anyone he wants" and you think he's not really doing anyone he wants. Why believe a guy who only sees one benefit to not dating - the sex? Just because you share porn and sex doesn't mean that he cares about you the same way. You say he can't be doing other people because you talk to him a lot? No. N-O. Talking is important, yeah, but if you aren't with him almost constantly, then he could easily be doing someone else.
I see from below that he doesn't think he'd be a good guy for you to date, and yet he comes to you more often now. From your question, it seems like you guys do each other every time you meet. Oh, you talk, and you play together. You say you are cool and don't put on any pressure.
To be blunt, I think this relationship you have with this guy is seriously f***ed up. He is so clearly only interested in you because you are the "girl that's practically one of the guys." You like the stuff he likes, so he doesn't have to talk about girly stuff with you. At the same time, you are clearly a girl, and you let him have sex with you. He sees no reason to be committed to you or your sexual relations because you're "cool". You don't expect anything more - not a date, not a proposal, no, what he thinks you want is just sex and a dude to hang with before and after.
Just by telling him you loved him, you threw his world out of whack. Now he knows you care for him -YOU are committed to HIM. When he said, "I told you not to fall for me," that should have proved to you that he fears commitment. He doesn't want to waste his time and money chaining himself to one woman, because he likes the free and irresponsible sex he gets with you now. He doesn't seem to understand what love means, either, since he asked if you wanted to slow down now. When you said no, you were saying, "I'll never betray you, I love doing this, and I could be cool with it for years and years" to him. Clearly, you don't want that. But that's what he thinks now.
You say you're the "cool chick". I say you need more self-respect. You don't want to give up the sex, whether for physical pleasure or because you love him. I'm no feminist, but the guy clearly only likes you for this passive quality and for your body. He is absolutely chock full of shit. And if you keep letting him have his way with you, hoping that one day he's start caring about the rest of your relationship, think again. This guy, as ap1100 said, is treating you like a whore, except he doesn't pay you.
Don't subject yourself to this any longer. This relationship is so unhealthy and bad for you it's like cancer. If you must continue having unrestrained sex, do it with a stranger with condoms. Never f*** this guy again. EVER. You always deserve better than this! DUMP HIM NOW
Thank you for the blunt honesty. It's what I need to hear. I've been trying to forget about him and I think it's fading, it's there but a little diminished feeling I try not to think about. And we haven't hung out in a month so far. It's for the best, I'm sure.
That's great! Good for you. I'm glad my answer helped. :) Have a good day.