How do I give my girlfriend space?

[thatkidfromcanadia]

She said she needs space, but I don't really know how to give her space. I've been waiting 6 weeks to talk to her. But now she isn't responding to my messages and that just makes me want to message her more! What do I do?... This has never been an issue until now. She's always loved my attention.

How do I give her space?

Updates

+1 y

I don't want to scare my girlfriend away. !

Updates

+1 y

How long do I wait before talking to her again?

[DaniJ]

I would say wait one week without saying anything to her. In any format (texting, calling, writing, etc.). Then send her the following message, (but adjusted obviously so it actually fits your situation and everything).

I wanted to let you know that I'm really trying to give you space, and I want you to have all the space you need, but it's hard for me to stay away from you when I don't know how much space you need.

(it's important that you include the part about her getting the space she needs, because otherwise, she'd be in an unhappy relationship.)

You could also try to find a way to ask her what her true intentions are... does she need "space" truly only because she is overwhelmed? Or is she trying to dump you without hurting you? Either way, you need to know. If she's not planning on coming back, it's better to save face and try to get on with your life quicker.

[CrystalMinds]

Well, when I would ask for space, I wouldn't want him to text me all day, maybe just a "goodmorning, did you sleep well?" or a message goodnight, asking me how my day has been.

No calling (I hate calling anyways), not a lot of texting, no emailing, and meeting up just a few times a week, not every day.

Did she say what she wanted? If she didn't say anything, ask her what you could do to give her space. But I wouldn't text or call often.

[CrystalMinds]

To your update: tell her that you'll give her the space she wants/needs and that she could text or call you when she's ready again. Then you don't have to worry and think about when you could text her again.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

Shes never good at initiating the conversation, I'm just worried she'll forget about me and won't message me back again.

[CrystalMinds]

Well, she'll have to learn sometimes. Now's a good time. You can't follow her around like a puppy and texting her all the time. Just text her once that you wanna give her space and that she should let you know when she's ready for it again. You can't text her every two days to ask: are you okay now? ok... are you okay now? ...

[thatkidfromcanadia]

Can I still send her good night and good morning messages and stuff like that?

and we don't usually text, its always over fb message.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

Also, I haven't seen her in over 6 weeks. Is it okay to ask when the next time I can see her again will be?

[CrystalMinds]

No, I wouldn't ask that. she wants her space and asking her when to meet up isn't really a good idea then

[thatkidfromcanadia]

she's really confusing me, we were talking today and then all of a suddenly, she just stops responding mid convo. any thoughts on this? should I still send her good morning and goodnight texts?

[CrystalMinds]

Maybe something got in the way and she didn't have time anymore. I wouldn't read into little things that much. I know people who do that, I do it myself. Mainly because I don't really like texting so then I'm like: ugh, if you're planning a huge convo, call me.

Really, If I were in your situation with a guy, I'd just simply text him: OK, I'll give you the space you need, if you're ready again you could text me or call me or something.

so no asking when you'll see her again, no asking when

[CrystalMinds]

* no asking when she thinks she'll be ready, no asking...don't ask anything. Just tell her that she could call you or text you when she's ready. Don't text her earlier. She has to learn to contact you herself. Do you really always text her first? That must be so annoying :s

[thatkidfromcanadia]

umm usually its always been like that, just cause she likes it like that and I don't really mind messaging her first. What if she never messages me back, because she's expecting me to pursue her or something? and then she'll have thought I lost interest.

[CrystalMinds]

If she never messages you back, she's a bitch who didn't deserve your time in the first place. She's not expecting you to pursue her, she's expecting you to leave her alone for a while until she's ready again. By pursueing her you'll only gonna make her run faster. So what she thinks you lost interest? Then she should pursue you, trying to get your interest back! Make her work for you for once, it shouldn't always be you

[thatkidfromcanadia]

yeah I know, I just miss her. I feel like I've given her an intense amount of space. she's been gone for 6 weeks! I just sent her letters is all lol

and I haven't seen her for 6 weeks, how much space is that?

[thatkidfromcanadia]

she just ended it through a text, she said I'm creeping her out.

[CrystalMinds]

Aww, I'm sorry. But in the future, don't send so many letters or don't text her constantly or something... I don't know if you did that. You could ask her how she thinks you creep her out.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

I mean I'm not sure how I could've creeped her out, she's been away for 6 weeks. I sent her letters because I thought she wanted me to. I haven't texted her in 6 weeks either.

[CrystalMinds]

Then ask her

[thatkidfromcanadia]

I did!

[J_dogg]

I'm going through the same type of shit where my girlfriend is asking for space I know it sucks when you know you truly did nothing to her and you don't want to loose her and you don't understand why she would leave but I don't know I say if she can go 6 weeks without talking to you she doesn't give a fuck about you bro I say you just try to let it go maybe get some closure first and ask her what went wrong in the relationship it would make you feel better

[Mjmolly]

Zero contact for at least a week.I just also want to say you have the patience that love requires,never change:)

[thatkidfromcanadia]

clearly I don't... she broke up with me :'(

[dodgersmom11]

Sorry to hear that :(

[Mjmolly]

Am sorry.I think you are a gret guy and you are yet to see better days and still just never change:),am jus saying incase you decide to put on an I 've been hurt before attitude.

[native65]

6 WEEKS? Dude, She has her space & then some. Get over it, she's done with you. Now what you need to do is man up. Go find yourself again, when you're in a relationship you tend to become your partner in certain ways to please them. Little by little you lose who you are. Time to take care of YOU. The more you show that you've moved on, and your OK with it, she will most likely become curious as to why you're ok... Why aren't you hounding her? She might even start thinking it was a mistake (remember she might not).. If she does come back to you, you have to be straight with her, she needs to know this hurt you, and you don't trust her, & you shouldn't. She can easily turn you away again. People tend to want what they can't have... BE STRONG!

[thatkidfromcanadia]

lol you misunderstood, she was at camp for 6 weeks and had no contact with the outside world. that's not what I meant by space

[native65]

I read it again... and you didn't even mention a Camp or that she is away somewhere... Not a misunderstanding, you just didn't provide enough details to the issue you have. It really don't matter, I stand by what I said. 6 weeks is 6 weeks and if she's at camp away somewhere makes it even more obvious.. SHE HAS HER SPACE! A lot of space. There could be two possiblities here... she is having fun with her friends and your sufficating her, or she found another guy that has her attention.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

yeah I didn't word it very well. I get that. I think I sent her too many letters while she was there and then as soon as she got back, I pretty much pounced on her.

[alltheabove1212]

Sorry to hear that man. "Space" doesn't take that long. I see she broke up with you. When she said you could send letters, she probably meant one or two. Learn from the mistake and move on. Cut ALL contact with her.

[confused_female]

Leave her a lone if she is so rude as to not even give you a response after 6 weeks she is likely interested in someone else just see someone else casually if you guys are suppose to be together or if it could work out it will eventually.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

she couldn't give me a response, She was at camp for 6 weeks. I didn't word the q correctly.

[confused_female]

I see that's a little different/. Since she has been back has she communicated with you?

[thatkidfromcanadia]

yeah she talked to me some, but then one day no response. Then out of the blue, I get a text saying she's breaking up with me

[confused_female]

I'm sorry to hear that

[carmenS]

If she's not willing to talk to you or answer your messages. Its a clear sign that she doesn't want to be with you anymore. My advice to you is to move on.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

yeah she ended it today. Apparently the letters I sent her during that 6 week period overwhelmed her.

[Anonymous]

Dude, if your girlfriend went a whole damn month without contacting you, I think the "space" she wants is a "im single" space. This has happened to me before, if a girl says "i need my space" or "we need a talk", its usually a sign your relationship is on the rocks, or in your case, a possible dump.

I think she did this as a way to break up with you in a "nice" way. She probably wants out, but is afraid to hurt you, sorry man.

[AmberChick]

6 weeks is a REALLY long time to give your partner space imo. I mean, did you even try to contact her in that period? I would have contacted her at most after a week and at least a couple days.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

lmao no you misunderstood completely. She's been at camp for 6 weeks and the only way to contact her was with letters, I wrote her so many letters, and she came back and told me they overwhelmed her and now she wants space.

[AmberChick]

Oh I see... Hmm...

Spacee is a tricky thing. Ask her how much? I mean- have a conversation with her about this space thing so you're less nervous about it. You at least deserve to know what the hell she is talking about!

[glamphotog]

"Give her space" - don't initiate contact until she does.

[glamphotog]

Every time you initiate contact with her where she doesn't respond... that is you scaring her away.

[thatkidfromcanadia]

she's a very shy girl, I don't know when or if she'll even initiate first. How long should I wait before talking to her again?

[Betwyn]

if its been 6 weeks...

She is already taking lengths from other guys...

[thatkidfromcanadia]

everyone misunderstood the question lmao. She's been gone for 6 weeks.

[Betwyn]

And I'm saying you are not getting her back...

[thatkidfromcanadia]

Yeah I realize that now... the way you answered though, that really isn't helping...

I really didn't word this question well at all.

[Betwyn]

My answer is telling you to move on..

Forget about her..

She's forgotten about you...

I know it isn't what you want to hear.. I know I'm not sugar coating it..

But really, what is the point? Will it change anything? Make you better faster?

[Betwyn]

ok, I just saw the other question..

you can't force this..

Let her go.. and if it was meant to be, if she just needs space... she'll come back to you...

But honestly, during the 6 weeks away.. its possible she met someone.. even possible she cheated on you.. and now, just seeing your face.. how happy you are to see her... she is feeling horribly guilty...

[thatkidfromcanadia]

I know I can't force this. I'm giving her as much space as she needs, no contact. But will there be a point in which I should go to her?

[Betwyn]

Honestly.. if she is interested still.. she will come to you.

and I wouldn't suggest waiting around on her...

Try and move on..

[thatkidfromcanadia]

Im trying but its difficult, it feels impossible.

[saysrae]

I think you waited way too long. Space is like a week, max.

[saysrae]

oops sorry! didn't see your comments.

[Anonymous]

just stop talking to her, let her come to you