Help! My girlfriend needs space

I will try and keep this brief. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years and recently ran into some turmoil and she pulled away and says that she needs space and wants to take a break. She was only 19 years old and I was 21 years old when we started dating, and I believe that she started getting scared that this could be IT and is running away from the situation even though we definitely have a very special relationship. She also says that she doesn't want to get married or have kids, so I think that she is just giving up because that's where she sees this going. I've told her that I would like those things in the future, but definitely have not applied any pressure towards it.

We already have a house, a dog and 2 cats together.

I've read on some blogs that the best thing to do is to give her the space that she needs and time to think. Give her time to really realize that she misses me. I have tried to do this but end up calling or texting her after a day or two because I miss her so damn much. She was a huge part of my life that is now empty and is hard to try and fill at this point. I have also not told any friends or family because I have never been clear on if this is going to be a week or a month or what? So haven't had anyone to talk to. I'm also trying to figure out at what point do I start really moving on? I mean all of her stuff is at my house, and I need to potentially find another roommate to help with the mortgage. I don't want her to pack everything or me get a new roommate if I'm not certain she isn't going to come back from the break soon. Also, it's sort of hard to move on when I'm surrounding by our life and memories together. I also feel as time goes on (almost 3 weeks now) we're just growing more distant, and find it hard to believe she is ever going to just come running back at this point.

Towards the end of the relationship we started getting into a lot of arguments about her wanting to go out. She works in a hospital and gets invited out by a lot of guys, mostly single guys. I told her many times that I did not agree with her going out with them and felt it was inappropriate. She starting feeling trapped and that she couldn't do what she wanted so she started lying about stuff; who she was going out with or who she was talking to. I found out that she was talking to this one guy in particular EVERY day on the phone for up to an hour. I never pushed for any details but it was obvious that they were more than just friends. I don't know if it ever got physical or anything, but still highly inappropriate. She knew that it was and felt very bad . We had a huge fight about it and that's when she stepped away and said she had to think about things. She claims that it's for her and she needs to figure out who she is and what she wants to do with her life. She said she's always been in a relationship and she never gets to do anything for herself. Am I supposed to believe this really? I mea


Most Helpful Guy

  • It seems that she is really unstable at the moment, and there are quite a lot of chances your relationship is over. I am even wondering if she doesn't want you to do the break up, so she can be justified in her disrespectful bullsh*t.

    The fact that you argued with her for spending hour calls with a guy on the phone is quite legitimate.

    That she would want to go outside more is understandable, but only with guys who want to date her, that's where the problem arises. And she didn't start to do this during the break, which would have been OK, but she made the break because you wouldn't let her do that. Which tells a lot about her.

    You should take the upper hand and set some sort of deadline, as there is no reason that you take all the expenses for the house in charge alone, let alone the emotional pain.

    So stop begging her to come back.

    Tell her that if she wants to come back, she has to do it pretty quickly. Past this time, she'll find her stuff on your front yard.

    I know it's hard to do, I think your relationship is in pretty bad a state, but I don't find any excuse to her behavior . There are things that can be understood, others that can't.

    • Hey man. Thanks for answering. She definitely has been disrespectful at times, but I do take some of the blame for creating a smotherin relationship at times. It takes two to tango. I know some would see it as weak for forgiving her, but I believe we really do have something special. She's my best friend and we do everything together. It just got to be all little too much.

      Well anyways I took your advice somewhat and told her that I can't wait much longer and that if she is just waiting

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hope you dumped her ass coz most lately she hasn’t already cheated on you. Don’t be second place.


What Guys Said 2

  • Dump her. She's about to dump you. It's're out.

  • When a girl says she wants a break they typically mean they want to break up. They are just too cowardly to do the breaking up themselves.

    You need to start rebuilding the areas of your life that have been neglected due to your obsession with her. Get some friends and family time in.

    This is why becoming overly obsessed with a person is not healthy. When they leave, you realize why a parasite needs a host.


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