Xanax is destroying my relationship

[DaLastHNIC]

My girlfriend won't admit it but she has a serious addiction to Xanax. Her supplier his her mom and she lives with us now which isn't making things any better. every time she has an issue with anything rather it'd be a headache, stomachache, problems concentrating, us arguing, etc. She always wants a Xanax to solve the problem. I tried talking to her about it but the argument doesn't help especially when her mom is around. It also doesn't help that her mom used to be a head nurse WHO GOT FIRED FOR STEALING MEDICATION. So she thinks her mom is the messiah of pill knowledge or anything kind of symptom. every time I say anything about the pills she runs to her mom and her mom tells me sh*t like "If she doesn't take them she will literally go crazy." But if you ask me her mom is the craziest person I've ever meet. She always threatening to commit suicide, she destroys our apartment every time I clean it up. Those to things alone are all side effects her Xanax abuse By the way. So I know her daughter is gonna end up the same way. I just want to know what to say or do to talk my girlfriend of 7 years without her running to her mom. Or at least have some words of defense for her mom just encase she does get involved.

[Gawesome]

That is a really messed up situation. From an addict girlfriend to a bats*$# crazy mother as well. You give her an ultimatum. It's either you or the drugs and we'll see if she ultimately wants off the drugs. Ultimately, it's her decision. It's gonna be tough since she's an addict and I don't think she realizes that the drugs (and mom) is ruining her life.

From what you said, it's been 7 years. There's a lot of history but I assume you reached a breaking point with her. Here's a question: do you see a future (marriage, kids) with her on-going drug addiction? Does everything about her (apart from her addiction problem / mom) makes you want to stay with her.

Even if she CHOOSE to get clean and you two are happy with each other, you will still need to deal with her bat$*% crazy mother which can make your girlfriend relapse again and/or drive her/you crazy. You're right about another thing, she's a major factor of this situation fueling the addiction so you need to deal with her accordingly. Confront her and be blunt and direct about this whole situation. Do NOT back down no much she claws back.

Deal with this strategically because this is not going to be easy as you have two fronts to deal with it. Keep us updated!

[MyNameIsJonas]

I've seen this happen to multiple people... Prescribed meds can ruin a persons life. Xanex especially it is a hard drug and it should NEVER be used on a daily basis. The first step would be convincing her that it is actually a problem because she is in denial. It's a drug addiction bottom line and she has to admit that in order to stop.

[stupidstupidme]

I can tell breaking up with her isn't really an option for you.

You need to start physically removing her from her supplier.

Tell her mom to move out. If she doesn't have money, volunteer to help pay her rent at another place (if you can), or help her find another place to live. Either way it's not right for a parent to live with her children in their home unless she's elderly and needs care.

Hide your girlfriend's pills, or put yourself in control of her dosage. MAKE her go see a real doctor and/or psychiatrist. A drugs-or-me ultimatum isn't practical and will probably break down, but you can ask her to at least try. Make her promise to make an effort to change.

If she flips sh*t and breaks up with you, then voila, you're free.

[why-makoto-kun]

True, why IS her mom living with them? And yes, she definitely needs to see a real doctor to help her understand what an appropriate dosage is.

[Hrona]

If you feel sense of fear, got tired from him, does not want anymore to be afraid and forces are not enough to overcome this state independent, then it is needed to help the nervous system to manage with this situation. Not important whether is at your fear the real reasons or he is ungrounded and is the product of stress. XANAX- this one of optimal decisions at that rate. you simply calm down, remaining adequate, not put on the brakes, get possibility all is sober to analyse, weigh and make decision.

[kereru]

You're right to be concerned,

Xanax is a very addictive drug, People start these drugs to help them through depression and anxiety and end up more f***ed up than ever because of them.

I have a seen this is in close family as well, I really wish this stuff wasn't just handed out like candy by doctors.

[RasmusAiken]

There is only one solution. Either your girlfriend goes in for treatment or you leave and don't look back. Otherwise it cannot end well for you. Addicts will always choose their addiction over the people who love them and will side with those who supply them with drugs. I know the hard way.

[MrOracle]

This right here. It totally sucks, but an addict can't be helped until they hit rock bottom and DECIDE they want help. Until then, they will lie, cheat, steal, and betray you in ways you never thought possible to get their fix, and that fix will be more important than you or anyone else.

Sadly, not everyone survives long enough to hit rock bottom, and not everyone survives recovery. Your ONLY move is to make her addiction have a cost: you leaving her. You have no other card to play.

[jokersgirl]

If I were in your situation I'd give her an ultimatum. You or the Xanax. If she chooses you then good, if not then you know it's not meant to be.. If you want to keep fighting with her and try to make her pick sides you'll NEVER win when her mother is her enabler

[Anonymous]

I had issues with addiction for much of early life. Unless you can get her to acknowledge the problem there is no problem. She needs to see her addiction for herself. Long-term start to think about changing the scenery. If she does get better you're going to have to move and start over otherwise everything becomes a trigger and you relapse. If she doesn't get better, you're still going to have to move and start over, just without her at your side.

[Anonymous]

As a police officer and having an ex-girlfriend addicted to rx medication. Let cops deal with it. If her mother gets involved, get us involved. We will help the girlfriend is she is addicted, we will not help the mother. We can easily by request, do a medical transport to a hospital. We can also separate an addict from her source. We are not here just to arrest, we are also here to help.

[why-makoto-kun]

Oh gosh, that's so bad. She needs to get counseling ASAP, but if she won't admit she has a problem there's not much you can do. :/ If it doesn't get better, I would give an ultimatum or just make an exit... Any drug addiction is serious...

[Anonymous]

you should not have to deal with this, she needs to get better and go to rehab or something or you will break up with her... also tell the mom she needs to move out too. Gotta give tough love, she will thank you for it later..

[Opinion Owner]

how does the mom get the xanax?

[Healingfrmlove]

I think you should talk to her and explain that its important that matters between you guys stay between you guys. You are not in a relationship with her mother, you are in a relationship with her. Explain to her that you can see a change and that this is putting a strain on your relationship. See what ways you can help her to find other things to run to and lean on other than the Xanax. Addictions are harder than people think.

[bigphil]

Dude break up with her. Xanax withdrawl can kill someone and being addicted to it is bad too.

[Anonymous]

There's is a girl on this site right now talking about she's addicted Xanax.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

You need a new gf