Ladies: Would you date a widower whose wife committed suicide?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it would be in the back of your mind that he drove her to it?

Updates

+1 y

Or at the very least, ignored or didn't care about the warning signs?

[AliceWonders2013]

Hmmm, I wouldn't have thought of that until you brought it up. I guess it's a legitimate concern, but for myself, if I found out someone's spouse commmitted suicide, my frist thought and concern would be for the person who has to deal with that kind of pain.

[Anonymous]

It wouldn't be a deal breaker or a deal maker, for me. It would just be something in his life, in his past. It wouldn't make me want him more, but it definitely wouldn't make me want him less either.

I certainly wouldn't judge him for it.

[VoiceOfReason]

Good answer. Just because a spouse commits suicide doesn't always mean that the remaining spouse's behavior drove them to it. Some times, especially in the case of debilitating terminal illness which also causes unbearable and difficult to or uncontrollable pain, the ailing spouse may choose suicide as an option since the only prognosis is death later on down the road anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks :-)

Right, there are many things that drive people to suicide. It's not always someone else's fault, per se. I think it'd be awful, having a spouse commit suicide. If I was dating someone that went through that, I'd compassionate and there for him, and nothing less.

[VoiceOfReason]

Exactly, I agree, and would be supportive also, especially knowing she suffered such a terrible loss.

[Opinion Owner]

Good man :-)

[Cottoncandydreams]

If I loved him I would proceed with a lot of caution because that is very serious. I't must of caused him a lot of emotional damaged if he was truly in love with her. I'm sure if she was alive she wouldn't want her death to get in the way with his happiness and want him to move on.

[1diamond]

I would hear the story before making judgments. It doesn't mean he drove her to it. There is a lot more to committing suicide then you may think.

[SunshineAmy]

Same as other answers, not a deal breaker or maker but I would think about it. I would try not to judge.

[Anonymous]

If he was heartless and didn't care about her he isn't the man for me. I have the sweetest most carrying boyfriend. Wouldn't give that up for a guy that would ignore me if I was depressed.

[jcook922]

Sometimes that isn't enough. My folks were having legit relationship problems and my dad killed himself, my mom wasn't asleep at the wheel in the relationship, my dad just gave up.

Shit happens. People give up on living, and life goes on for everyone else who has to pick up the pieces. Just food for thought.

[Opinion Owner]

I would be with a widower. But the way the question asker worded it made it seem that the widower was cruel and didn't care.

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn't