Woman rejected my proposal due to age difference? she is elder

[Anonymous]

The girl I love rejected my proposal for marriage since I am 2 years younger to her. She is 30 and I am 28. She says her father won't accept my proposal. She likes me but she know her dad won't accept. How do I get her back

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+1 y

I find some small change in her after I proposed to her. She is starting to tease me and speaking to me like kind of partner orders style. She never did this before I professed.

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+1 y

She tease me like for eg: I saw her bringing a bag and its sports bag. I asked her is that a baseball bat or a golf club. She laughingly replied yeah this I brought to beat you :-) with a big smile. I said in reply with a little flirt yea you've the right to do and I can take beatings :-)

Other day she was asking me why I was taking a left instead of right with she asked with a kind of authority I see only with my mom over dad. her friends were mocking her... I don't know what is going on...

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+1 y

All the above happened after I proposed her and professed that I like her...

[jam66]

Huh? Aw I'm sorry to say this but I think she has used that as an excuse. That is not enough of an age difference to me to influence that kind of a decision. I know loads of women that have married men 3 or 4 years younger than they are. Both my grandmothers were 3 years older than their husbands. I think there may be something else going on.

It was like when I asked my boyfriend of a year about our future and he said it was too soon for us to move in together or get married. I asked why it was too soon for us to move in together and he said it was because his parents wouldn't allow him to move in with a girl if we were unmarried. I later found out his brother had been living with his girlfriend unmarried for 2 years, so I knew he had just made this an excuse. We later broke up, he got a new girlfriend and guess what? He moved in with her after only 4 months.

Sometimes people are just too scared to say they don't really want to be with you. Right now find out what the real reason is, because that 2 year age difference is a terrible excuse to give someone who has just proposed. I'm sorry that is the reaction you received especially when there are a lot of girls out there who would love to get married. Good Luck.

[Asker]

I understand your point and I am srry for your loss too... but in india our parents still see these for arranged marriage... her yungr brother is a year older than me. I know it for a fact. Now I believe I need to find the real reason or make her fall for me. Lets see. Thanks for your advise

[jam66]

Ahh I didn't realize you were in India. I'm not sure how things are done over there, but maybe you could try telling her father how much you love her and how well you will take care of her. If he still says no, at least you can move on knowing you tried your hardest. Good Luck :)

[TotallyPeachy008]

Unreal. I'm sorry but for a 30 year old woman she sounds quite immature for beating around the bush like this. It sounds like she has no interest in marrying you in general and is trying to use her father as an excuse. I am 8 years younger than my boyfriend and such goofiness has never come up between us.

Now...what can you do? Go to her father. Go to him and ask for her hand in marriage. That is the only way you are going to get a real answer here. If age is really an issue with the man (which I doubt it is) he will tell you. Or he will give you permission to ask her to marry you. In the case that he does give you permission, go to her and tell her that her father has given you permission to marry.

Either she will be happy or she will be unhappy. If she rejects you again, it was probably because she does not want to get married. Believe me; if my Dad told me I couldn't marry a guy for this reason, I would just elope, its cheaper. If this woman really loves you, she would find a way to marry you.

Good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks for your time. She still spks to me and she nvr said she didn't like me. We frm india. I said I want you and your family to accept me. Even she intro to her dad and I had food at her place. She said I am the only guy evr she invitd home. All looks in place for green light.but my age diff is check. Hope it ain't no checkmate.

[Troian]

you said like...is it love or not?

You know...it's an excuse, two years is nothing. I think she's the one who doesn't want to, not her father. Do you really love her? it's hard to hear, but if she doesn't want to get married (meaning, not the spend the rest of her life with you) what is the point to stay with you, she'll break up soon or later...

[Tractorbeam]

If her father cares about her,he should be happy for her.

If he didn't like it,he probably would have said something to her by now.2 years is nothing,and probably means even less at his age.

I can't see why he wouldn't like it.

[Asker]

I am leaving her alone as of now. Maybe let her be her for a week or two and speak about it. My dad is OK with this. My dad says as long as you bth are OK my dad is OK. She cares about her dad. Lets see.. its jus two days old and she is kind of uncmfrtble rght now saying you have been so nice to me and I said no and its awkward

[Asker]

I reassured her that I dnt feel bad and you be who you are and I like you to be who you are and what you are. I believe she has a crush on me. Trying to hide it due to family reasons

[em584385]

If she rejected you because of an age difference of just two years, then there might be something else going on, Have you asked her father for permission? I would talk to him first. If he is all okay with the marriage, then she is probably the reason and I would find out what is going on to why she refused.

[523206720]

If she's not interested in marriage, she shouldn't even be dating you. You are 28 years old, of course you want to eventually settle down. Give her another chance and if she won't budge then don't even date her anymore.

[Prettygurl12]

If you read through the comments on my response you'll notice that the two weren't even dating - just friends.

[Prettygurl12]

Why did she date you in the first place if she knew marrying you wouldn't pan out?

[Asker]

She did not date me. We are close frnds and she knew I like her befre I profess and didn't stop me. She even invited me to her house and intro to her dad. She is single ofcourse

[Prettygurl12]

Wait. So you did not date - had nothing more than a flirtatious friendship and you're wondering why she rejected your marriage proposal?

[Asker]

Yes... she likes me she is single. She knows I like her and her family. She even said I am the only guy she evr invited home and introduced to her dad. Her dad liked me. I had evening time wth her family. Don't know why age is prblm. To me age is mere number. I dnt want olto convince her by saying these. I want her to undrstnd my care and respect for her. She still spks to me and we are still hangingout having brkfast and coffe togthr

[Prettygurl12]

Ask her on a date - not to marry you. I'd reject the marriage proposal from a friend immediately.

[JamielovesKU]

Its really not up to her father its up to her, you're only 2 years apart.

[Asker]

God only knows whether we are destined to be together for life... lets hope she understands by the way I took her rejection like a man and still respects her feelings

[JamielovesKU]

Yea, just keep talking to her, maybe you can talk her into it

[Anonymous]

ahh your are a good guy! What is her culture? 2 years is not much.

[Asker]

Thanks... we are from india... we dnt want to lose family and I said I want her father to give her away with full acceptance. Will she change her mind maybe?

[Opinion Owner]

You need to find out why he would oppose. See if you could change that. If not then cut your loses. That is too bad. Some cultures can be very stifling

[Asker]

Thats what I am planning to do. Gettng clse to her family more and she evn went to a limit saying. Even if I ask my dad he don't accept. And you will lose your image in him and he won't let you in no more. Which means she is willing to ask but don't want to. I am devastated.

[Opinion Owner]

You are on the right path. Sorry to hear what you have at risk. But in cultures like yours devastation is the risk. Got to win her father's heart. Find out what make him tick Try to take care of your heart in the meantime. Leave something for yourself in case it doesn't work out.

Good luck :)

[Asker]

Thanks a ton for such warming wrds... she knws and respects my liking to her. She spks to me as usual... have to waiand seet

[Anonymous]

she's 30 and she's still concerned about what her father thinks?

[Asker]

i said I want her father to give her away with full acceptance. I like her and her family. She knows I do. She still spks to me well and she knows I care about her

[Anonymous]

Maybe her dad just doesn't want to give her to another man. All men are like that. Keep trying I guess.

[toricakes]

It's not up to her father

[Anonymous]

Sorry for your loss :(