I say you should go and he should be expected to trust you. If he doesn't, then staying together will end up being years of his mistrust of you. Usually, a person that doesn't trust his girlfriend doesn't trust himself either. An old saying, "it takes a thief to catch one." I'm not saying anything bad about your boyfriend but obviously he's not the trusting type. Maybe that happens to be one of his weaknesses. Maybe he picked that up from home. Maybe he had some bad experiences as a kid. If he doesn't get over this weakness, you're going to miss out on many good occasions of fun you should be able to spend with your friends. You need to bring up the incident of his going to a bachelor party and compare it to yours coming up. Just because you've been together for 3 years doesn't mean that continuing to be together is the best thing for you. Maybe it's time for you to use this as a test to see how he might be in the future. As a woman, you need to keep at least some independence for your own good and a good man should give it to you. Good relationships are built on trust... complete trust! If he's willing to leave you because of your going to such an important party, I'd say he might eventually leave you for other things as well. You're going to be stuck in a relationship without much or no freedom. Once the fun of a new relationship wears off and the sexual excitement lessens, the real person stands out. He's acting like a little boy and I feel sorry for you. I say just be firm in a very nice way that you feel you should be entitled to go to your best friends bacherlorette party and that he should be happy for you. Assure him that everything will be okay and that you'll call him after it's over, and then start making plans to go. If he starts bucking you or making threats about leaving, then you'll know what you'll be facing in the future. If you rather stay with him even if that means missing out on some very good parts of your life, that's up to you. It's your life and you only live it once so the choice is yours how you want to live it. This is the time for you find out what kind of man you have. Good luck!
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I think his attitude is both understandable and unacceptable.
Understandable because it's natural to feel jealous. You're going to be in an alcohol-fuelled, probably somewhat sexually-charged environment, and there's probably goign to be a lot of men there too. I must admit I feel jealous when my girlfriend goes out partying with her friends, even though it's a rare occasion anyway. But I don't show that jealousy.
Unacceptable, because ultimately you can't not go to your friend's bachelorette party. And, deeper than that, a relationship can't survive without trust. If someone's going to cheat, there's nothing that person's partner can do to stop that. In fact, one of my ex-girlfriends did cheat on me, but, because I allowed her to enjoy her freedom instead of policing her, I found out quickly that she was the cheating type, and instead of potentially wasting years on her, I found out in the first month and was able to dump her.
It's a tough situation and I've been in it.. except I was in your boyfriends shoes. I did not want my boyfriend to go to his friends bachelor party at all. It was hard for me to accept the fact that he was going but I knew I was being unreasonable by asking him not to go. However, he and I weren't in a relationship as long as you two are. So what ended up happening is that I became resentful and I kept thinking about how he must not care about my opinion which must of meant that he didn't care much about our relationship.. We ended up breaking up.
Now that I'm a little older and have more dating experience I realize that the only reason why I didn't want him to go was because I was insecure inside the relationship.. I think you and your boyfriend should try exploring the real reasons why he doesn't want you to go. This means sharing real feelings... or digging them up and questioning. Being vulnerable. I really think it's important because given the history inside your story (first said it was the money, then said just not to go), he doesn't really know why but you can help him. And I think once you both understand each others true feelings it will create a better level of trust.
No! You go! That's not fair to your friend. He is being a hippocrite.
Tell him I'm sorry you feel that way but one of my best friends is getting married and I will go. Don't let yourself be controlled. I'm around your age and my boyfriend and I have been together a long time he goes to his friends and I go to myne. It shouldn't be a problem it's all about trust.
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When you date a manipulative, controlling man, your choices are to stick with the "love" you have for him, or be a rational, independent human being. That's your choice to make.
You should go. You will regret it if you don't.
Go. Enjoy.
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