Questions: Relationships

I start off simple. I’m pretty easy to get but hard to keep/satisfy. I’m pretty routine and when things start to change, I try to get it back to the way things were, otherwise, I’m ready to bounce. Like I start to feel trapped. Then i check out mentally/emotionally but rarely physically. At certain points in the relationship, I just begin self sabotaging as my way of escaping. Its just a bad habit, especially since I struggle with letting go and leaving on my own. I rather be released even if it makes me look like the sucker. In the end, it was all apart of the plan… But I hate wasting my time (and in some way theirs as well) but at the same time it makes me feel less guilty and less of the villain if i’m released versus just voluntarily leaving. I know its some sort of commitment issue but is what it is. #FeelFreeToList