Why do I only attract toxic men?

[Anonymous]

What makes someone attract a specific partner , someone that always shows they are perfect and then change all of a sudden within a while of the relationship, promises everything just to give nothing, almost narcissistic behavior until you can't try no more and they always try and come back and don't want you but won't let you go either

[tremendousfern]

1. If you have sex before marriage, you're going to mostly attract men who are only interested in using you for sex. If women don't like being pumped and dumped, the best way to ensure that doesn't happen is practicing abstinence.

2. They probably aren't changing suddenly. Very few people are that sociopathic and capable of hiding their true selves for long. What's more likely is that you're so attracted to these guys that you're overlooking glaring red flags. Stop thinking with your pussy.

[Asker]

Virgin 22 , now what do you think?

[tremendousfern]

That's good. That's why I gave you two bits of advice because you didn't say if you had sex with these men or not. #2 is what I think.
And if you're genuinely keeping an eye out for red flags though and these relationships are pretty short lived, it could also just be that you're filtering out douchey losers who only want to use you for sex. So if anything you should be relieved because there's a lot of loser men and women these days. It might take a while for you to find someone who isn't toxic.

[Asker]

Yeah true thanks

[Gent207-2]

There exists a certain kind of woman that seeks a reclamation project within their mates - by fixing him they fix themselves. These women often grow up with absent or abusive fathers or father-figures. A

Then there are other women whom due to their outward attributes seek validation from any man regardless of their obvious toxicity.

[Asker]

What do you mean by outward attributes?

[laly520]

maybe they spot u being kind or have good heart thus u attract bad guys who wanna use u

[Asker]

Lol so being nice doesn't work?

[laly520]

not nice
but overly nice

[Asker]

Basically like put up with everything wrong?

[laly520]

yes
tolerating their bs

[Asker]

Lol but where do you draw the line of forgiving and making excuses for someone