Why I m only attracted to toxic men?

[Anonymous]

I like jealous and possessive men make me feel loved and getting yelled at turn me on. Nice guys to me feel like pushover and are annoying I prefer more strong willed man

not afraid to fight for their want instead of taking no without fighting or doing anything

[Finchie40]

A jealous and possessive man is not strong willed what so ever , he is sadly insecure about himself deep down inside , He only loves himself , he only loves what he thinks he is receiving from others’ sadly those are the type of people
that cheat on their partners’ when things aren’t going h their way , He is a selfish person that only wants things his way. The reason you are drawn to this behavior is because you have low self esteem about yourself , you like to feel controlled because you are afraid of being alone , these guys’ are treating you that way because they know they can control you and you will do what they say , but the second you don’t do what they say , they will run to someone else to get their way , pointing fingers at you , making you the reason they are choosing to do so , they will run to another girl that falls for his shit. Most females love being submissive to a man that makes her feel loved and protected , that makes her feel he has her back the same way she has his , a man that will take lead that trusts in her and respects her as well , the only time you should even feel controlled by your man is in the bedroom , outside the bedroom you should feel respected and trusted. When a guy is possessive and controlling constantly to his so called partner , he is more than likely up to no good and making her feel she is at fault , for his selfish behavior and actions if he gets busted cheating on her. possessive controlling men are insecure people that don’t think they do anything wrong , they are always right in their minds , no matter what happens they are right and you are wrong. If you enjoy being cheated on ,! then that’s the guys’ you should stay with , if you want to experience true love , then you should honestly consider dating those nice guys’ that want to experience true love as well , Understand you are a human being , understand you are a beautiful person , when you learn to love yourself and value yourself worth as a person , that’s when others’ will be drawn to you from the heart , not drawn to you for what they can receive from you , because the second they aren’t receiving from you , they will go and receive from someone else , Mark my words , Nobody owns you , you weren’t put on earth to be controlled and told what to do , Love only comes from choosing someone the same way they choose you , it’s ok to be with someone that gets a little jealous and insecure at times , that shows that person loves and cares about you and doesn’t want to lose you , but when someone is overly possessive and jealous of you , they don’t truly value you , they only like the convenience of you and what they can receive from you. Most girls’ get boundaries and control mixed up in relationships, A boundary is something you and your partner agree upon together to keep you both on the same page with things to keep your relationship on the same page by compromising together Controlling is telling your partner what they can and can not do , there way or no way , if you don’t follow their orders , you are a piece of shit in their eyes because they are a selfish person that only really cares about themselves , controlling people can have a relationship all by themselves , because nobody else matters to them but themselves. Don’t get the 2 mixed up , it will help you look at relationships the way a relationship should be a team , you and your partner vs. the world , making each other your top priority over everyone else , understanding you both are choosing each other the same way , not the other way around

[Asker]

You say a lot of shit, my sister dated a lot of possessive and jealous men and they never absolutely never cheated on her, they were obsessed with her and even when she did shit they didn't cared and still stayed with her. It's regular normal guys that cheat, also I can't go with nice guys cause I have a too strong personality, when you say no to those guys they don't fight for yes they just leave you be they don't care if they date me or another girl all they want is a girlfriend and any cute girl do the job for them.

How can a jealous clingy guy cheat on you if he's 24/7 near you and texting you? Make nonsense.
when my sister left her boyfriend they went and begged her during months even threating to commit suicide if she didn't comeback not at all what you describe what you describe is more alike frat boy than jealous possessive men.
I never been good at respecting boundaries, always tries to broaden them and jealous men stay with me even when I go overboard nice men doesn't , they just leave at the tiniest stuff they don't like.
Yeah but that's where you are mistaken nice guys don't make their girls their priority they always help others people and put others people need before the one of their girlfriend to their girlfriend expense. Like a guy helping a friend for moving his stuff in his news house instead a spending the week end at their girlfriend place. This si not putting you girlfriend first there this is putting her last to keep the good guy act. And it's extremely frustrating and feeling unloved.
Possesssive men cling to their girlfriend not leaving their sight for one seconds. Always together this is what is a team also a relationship is not a team, I prefer getting lead by the guy taking all the decision and leaving me with no stress than shoulder the stress of life together.

[Finchie40]

If your sister is still doing things that hurt the relationship and those guys’ are still taking her back , then those guys’ are insecure idiots to stay with a girl that betrays them. Me personally would kick her to the curb where she belongs. If a girl can’t stay loyal and faithful to me , my ass will not be loyal and faithful to her period , she wouldn’t be my girl period. Someone that is overly possessive of someone and easily jealous of someone has very low self esteem about themselves , they can’t trust themselves so they can’t trust anyone else period. A little jealousy and a little possessiveness is ok when you feel something is off in the relationship , that’s normal instincts , everyone has some type of insecurity inside themselves , if they say they don’t they are talking out their ass , For a relationship to work and for love to grow , both partners need to choose each other , and wear each others shoes before making decisions, understanding you are both no longer single. What you don’t want your partner doing to you , needs to be the same rules for you as well , Why setting boundaries you both agree upon is important in relationships , if one you can’t follow those boundaries then your relationship will fail. I been with real clingy girls’ that were overt possessive of me , that tried controlling every move I made , that had a hard time trusting me when I walked out the front door , it was sexy in the beginning but after some time it got to be insane realizing this girl doesn’t trust anything that I do without her , starting fights with me because I talked to another girl out in public like i was automatically going to rip her clothes off and fuck her right there , I’m sorry shit like that is insane , when someone is that possessive they are very insecure people that sadly don’t trust themselves , they play victims if you don’t follow their orders , that isn’t love , that is control. They can have a relationship all by themselves because it’s all

[Finchie40]

About themselves , they don’t care about your feelings , they only care about what is best for themselves , if you want to stay locked up on your home and be controlled that way , then stick with staying with a guy like that , you are a prisoner in your own home , that isn’t Love that again is control

[JacobJordan]

You might need to explain your definitions of a masculine man, nice man, and toxic man because it seems you don't understand the differences. Major evidence being you like guys that are jealous. Jealousy is spelled with lousy for a reason. Possessive almost always leads to physical, emotional and/or mental abuse. Getting yelled at is just a sign of little to no self control. Been in a relationship for around 19 years married for 17 ish of that and I have not once yelled at my wife.

So with that I would agree you seem to be more attracted to abusive men. You should do some introspection as to why you like being treated poorly.

[Asker]

I don't really have a definition for masculine man others than dominant tall and muscular. Guys that take descison and matters in their own hands, protective drive and pay for everything without winning like all modern guys do.

Nice are those that do all gentleman things but if you tell them no they insult of being a bitch being your back. They aren't really nice they just fake it.

Toxic I just take the regular definition of everyone for it cause stuff they consider toxic I don't, I think it's just another ways of love more passionate than the regular accepted one.

Losing self control is a mark of love, you love the person so much that you can't control your emotion anymore. It's passionate.
I don't know a single person have never yelled at their loved one except those that are passive agressive and those are really the worst also I hate people that control themselves their emotion temper , etc... because those are liar. How I'm suppose to trust them if they never show they real feelings? Emotion, etc.. I like people being true to themselves emotion and all, it show me really what they're actually like and not the fake image they try to give of themselves, acting all proper and like a saint while they're far form it. A guy here have said he was nice but I read his comment on another question and he said he had wanted to punch people multiple of time for me doing it an wanting to do it are the same, it's the intention that count and not fact that he wanted or not to do it. You can't say you're a good person if you have ever wanted to punch people. I've been beaten down to blood and lost a teeth but I have never absolutely never wanted to hurt them for what they had done to me I didn't even fight back, let them do it until they stopped.

If I had a guy and he never yelled at me I was think he was fake and would try to get his true self to come out.

I like people who are not afraid to get in touch with their real emotion not fearing showing them

[JacobJordan]

So you know no one who can be authentic without losing control of their temper? That seems rather disappointing no? Not losing control of one's temper is a matter of discipline and respect. Also you think guys that are gentlemanly "insult people behind their back"? Can't say I have ever done either of us. If I insult someone it is to their face. I also have discipline and respect and yelling at someone I care about is disrespectful. I can make the exact same point without throwing a tantrum I am an adult after all. I would seem to fit your description of masculine men though I also have qualities you seem to think apply to shitty guys. Ultimately I reference you back to my original point. Introspection should be able to answer what is causing your attraction to supposed toxic men.

[Asker]

It's not disapoiting it's what being a human yelling is totally normal, nothing wrong with it yelling is actually good cause you let all your bad emotion get out if you never do it you're just gonna end up being extremely bitter and passive agressive later in life. I don't know a singe person that have never yelled in his life expect some shy people but I can clealry see when they when to do it but don't dare do it. They fake their emotion. Better to let it out and be true.
Matter of discipline and respect? more like hypocrisy and being fake, showing a fake face to someone while you feel something else inside of you, this is not something that I appreciate how I'm supposed to know when they're fake or when they're real?
Then you're not a nice person if you're insulting people before their face...
It's not disrespectful to yell but is it disrecpeftul to lie to their face and not being true to them or yourself, it mean they don't really know you cause you wear a mask.
You can't actually it doesn't have the same impact at all, I never listened to my parents when they told me something only ever listened when they threatened to hit me.

I just think that "toxic' guys are not hypocrite they're in tune with their emotion not afraid to show them and them being possessive and clingy and obsessive toward me mean they won't abandon me if I one day decide to do something they don't like they would just force me to get in line. If I dress to sexy they would physically force me to change (except by locking the door or ripping my skirt while nice guys would just leave me cause I'm not their perfect image of a girlfriend, toxic guys would force me to change but stay with me no matter the shit I do while others leave if you're not perfect).

[JacobJordan]

You haven't met enough people then. I very rarely raise my voice let alone yell. As I rarely get mad. But to each there own. I used to get angry and lose control when I was younger. Before I learned discipline and respect. But we know why you like abusive people. Your parents. That gets old eventually you will find that out over time. I do wish you luck in finding partners healthy or abusive

[Asker]

You just learnt to lie to yourself. If you stopped showing the emotion you don't like.
Thank you

[JacobJordan]

No I just genuinely don't get angry enough to yell. My wife and I always communicate long before we reach that point. Think the only time recently I have been genuinely angry enough to yell was when her drunk uncle tried to kill me with a shovel. I grabbed him by the throat one handed and threw him off our porch and yelled at him to stay the fuck away from me. 2 smaller moments 1 before that and 1 after. He tried assaulting me a few weeks after and I punched him in the throat dragged him into the middle of the road and told him if he stepped foot on our property he wouldn't leave the property alive. Haven't seen him since. When it comes to protecting myself or my loved ones it is far different.

[Asker]

Then I guess you're just a naturally calm person most of the time but personally even the kindest person I know my grandmother have often yelled at my grandfather and she's literally recognized as being the kindest person of all by everyone, never yelled at me.
But she does yell and quite loudly too when angry.

[JacobJordan]

Women tend to yell more than men so that does make sense. My mom was the same. My dad yelled maybe once. My mom has yelled a few times.

[Asker]

My grandfather actually yell much more than her that his default communication yelling or talking so loudly I was completely scared of him as a child, he wondered why I didn't like him while he spend his life critic everything and yelling at me. My grandmother just yell when she get enough of him yelling for nothing.

[JacobJordan]

Odd that you think yelling is healthy then given you have seen firsthand how it doesn't accomplish much.

[kylee2437]

Because you don’t love or respect your time, health, and more importantly just your own self in general.

[Asker]

Maybe I don’t know
Can’t really change that

[kylee2437]

I mean you can’t change it with that kind of attitude.

[Asker]

At least if he s obsessed with me he won’t cheat on me

[kylee2437]

I don’t agree. It may get to a point where he puts his hands on you and still cheats on you anyways. Why go down that route?

[Asker]

I have trust issue jealous men always text and want to be with me at all Time no matter where I go Nice Guy don’t they spend hours respond to text and leave the relationship at the slightest stuff that bother them jealous guys fight for the relationship and staying together Even if it’s not always in healthy ways

[kylee2437]

We can agree to disagree. Obsessive men only do those things until they don’t benefit from it anymore

[Asker]

Why would they stop benefit from it? When does it happen?

[TenderFantasy]

"Nice Guys" don't take hours to respond to ones they really care about or leave the relationship at the drop of a hat. That's not what a 'nice guy' entails. ... I take it you just like feeling loved and giving you attention is how you feel it. Maybe just communicate that to your lover next time and if he really cares about you and is interested in wanting the relationship to go further with you, you will now and take it from there. And I agree that jealousy IS a cute trait, but some people are the VIOLENT type of jealous so you just gotta watch out for those. The harmless type, I too find cute.

[kylee2437]

@TenderFantasy or those nice guys are out actually working and don’t have time to cater to someone that wants a stupid relationship built off of text message

[TenderFantasy]

@kylee2437 I don't think she was implying on just having a text message relationship. I don't think I got that from her. If a person doesn't have time for a relationship because they work too much, it would not be good or fair to lead someone on like that and say that they do.

[kylee2437]

@TenderFantasy but you are missing the point. She liked toxic men that cater to her non stop texting problem ( probably because she doesn’t have a life) and those same men provide her nothing except texting. She likes men that cater to surface level attention. And if she actually got a life, she wouldn’t even need texting validation

[kylee2437]

And yes while a man can work too much, texting obsessively throughout the day is not natural or normal and too many people have normalized this behavior

[Asker]

@TenderFantasy Actually nice guys do leave relationship like that, you stay married during 10 years and they loose feeling for you / grow some for someone else and they abandon you to get with someone else, the assholes are those that cheat and don't tell you anything, the nice one grew feeling for someone else and leave you (for whatever reasons, like him changing me changing, not wanting the same thing in life, etc...).
If I ask for attention they tell me I'm clingy annoying and leave me. So no communication doesn't work if he don't give me enough attention it's cause he don't feel like it talking about it would just make me look like I'm dependent, annoying and jealous to him.
And nice guys are just too soft for me I grew up in a quite abusive home where everyone temper are really bad getting angry at the slightest stuff so I find it weird and fake when people are too nice.

[Asker]

Everyone have time to ask even when working, my sister and mother often send me message while they work and I do too

[kylee2437]

@asker girl a man not telling you he’s cheating puts your own body at risk for diseases that you didn’t ask for

[Asker]

Texting is norma when you see each other only on week end

[kylee2437]

Texting is low effort my dear. Does he call? Does he try to see you on week days here and there? in my opinion if someone only has weekend flexibility, they aren’t available

[Asker]

Low efforts that majority of men cannot even do? If he can't text me often and respond fast then it just really show how important I'm to him if that is just so low effort.
I don't like call. Some harass me to call but I decline I hate talking on the phone and facetime only like text.
Some people live far and just seeing each other and week end is normal when you don't live close. Our hours often doesn't match

[kylee2437]

@asker are you introverted by chance? Personally I am and getting out of my comfort zone is a must for dating honestly. Once I learned that a dude can text you all day and it can mean absolutely nothing , that’s when I decided I wanted better for myself. Your comfort zone might be why you attract the men you do. I’m just saying. You have everyone telling you, your mindset is far from healthy.

[Asker]

I'm really introverted to the point that as a child they send to see a psy cause they thought I had a trouble but I did'n't have anythng.
I just can't get out of my comfort zone I can't it's just easier getting with jealous men they don't ask me to get out of my comfort zone they're perfectly happy with me never leaving the house and not talking to anybody others than him and my family.

[kylee2437]

But understand a guy not driving you to want to be social (because it’s normal to be social) isn’t healthy, right? Dating progressively should make both people step out of their comfort zones, and if it doesn’t it’s not healthy love.

[Asker]

I don't know to me it feel unhealthy to want to force me to be social while I get anxious an panic attack if I step out of my house, I can go to some place I'm familiar with but not others and some stuff just trigger me, also I can't walk much because of my knee pain, if I walk too much or stand too long the next day I get bed ridden because of the pain it make unable to walk.

All my life people have tried to force me to go out, be more social, talk more and it feel me with anxiety and got me severely bullied in school. How can a healthy person would want me to be more social after this?

I don't really what's healthy or not want people try to force me to do stuff I just go in my bedroom to read or watch a movie and not get out during hours.
My sister don't try to force me to go out she just get me to go out sometime to go to place I'm comfortable and familiar with and don't make me try to meet people either cause she know I don't feel comfortable she respect my boundaries.

[kylee2437]

@asker sis , I personally think therapy would benefit here. Dating is a social aspect and it seems like you settle for less because you don’t even like being social, so you accept ones that cater to isolation which is usually toxic men. It’s not healthy. Openly admitting that you like toxic men isn’t cute , it’s not a flex. It can make you end up dead tbh

[Asker]

Surely but I don't want to see a psy, I wouldn't even be able to trust them, I would lie to them, I know cause that's what I did as a child, I lied to them same as when my teacher force me to go see the school psy as a teen.
Honestly it's easier and more comfortable to me to settle for less even less stressing even if they're toxic. I would only end up dead if I leave them.

[kylee2437]

You need to do some soul searching.

[Asker]

I also don't know how to drive and it annoy most guys to drive me around they feel used, jealous don't mind and some even like it.

[kylee2437]

They probably think it’s a red flag that you are 25-29 lacking with adult responsibilities.

[Asker]

What's soul searching?
Surely, I don't work currently don't drive and live at my parents house but I have ways too much anxiety to get out, the more I get older the less I wish to go out of my home, it's stressful especially when I have to talk to people a bit younger or my age.

[Asker]

I always been a bit sheltered by my parents, like being forbidden from going out after 6 pm or going to any party.

[kylee2437]

Basically you need to get your life together.

[TenderFantasy]

Hi @asker "@TenderFantasy Actually nice guys do leave relationship like that, you stay married during 10 years and they loose feeling for you / grow some for someone else and they abandon you to get with someone else, the assholes are those that cheat and don't tell you anything, the nice one grew feeling for someone else and leave you (for whatever reasons, like him changing me changing, not wanting the same thing in life, etc...)." THAT does not equal nice. I don't think it's nice to abandon someone you love/care about for selfish reasons! People grow old, they get sick as well. Part of the wedding vows is helping to care for each other in SICKNESS and in HEALTH, for better or worse, richer or poorer, etc. till DEATH do you part. That's really the ideal. If you ABANDON someone in their time of need, you do NOT love/care about them over yourself and THAT IS NOT NICE! Not in the least.

[Asker]

I mean surely but I also want to feel loved so

[kylee2437]

Can’t find love if you don’t love yourself first. Clearly being afraid of the world around you, that doesn’t sound like you love yourself

[Asker]

@TenderFantasy Then they faked being nice during 10 years or more. Lots of people abandon their love one for no reason just for the sake or it and they did have a good relationship during multiple years. half marriage end up in divorce and generally for cheating.
I knew a guy that left his wife cause she didn't gave him enough sex (just had sex during holliday and valentine days and he left her for that).

[Asker]

I just have bad experience with people don't really have too do with loving myself, it's just people are too mean and I can't handle it. Why would it be so bad to get a jealous clingy possessive husband with me being a stay at home wife, that really is my ideal, would never need to get out of my house and I would've someone that would love me and not abandon me.

I don't think I can manage to get responsabilities like everyone

[Rob59692]

Because you’re not smart. I’m not toxic and I’m super nice. Does that mean I’m less of a man than those guys? NO. Those guys are insecure, and don’t have any valuable traits, thus explains why they lash out. I am secured in what I am. Also, good luck always being single too. Because that is what will happen if you stick with those men. And if you do stick with them, you’ll be miserable.

[Asker]

I won’t be miserable I grew up in a toxic abusive House getting insulted and yelled at or hit is the regular to me

Guys that are secure it feel like they don’t love me getting jealous and yelling show they love me and care for me
Show they re too obsessed to cheat on me
They text all the time and show I m their top priority unlike others « secure » guys that just don’t care

[Rob59692]

I suggest seeing a psychologists, because past trauma could haunt you all your life. I’m sorry that happened to you, but we all need to be treated well.

If you feel that way, you’re in for a life of hell. A guy who’s secure in himself, will love and care for you more if he finds that you’re the right girl for him. For example, a guy that’s secure in himself, will even die for you if somehow someone was pointing a gun at you for example. An insecure guy would think “I can just find another girl. I’m not getting shot for her.” And leave you to die.
Another thing is that insecure guys will be more likely to cheat. You think if they’re this desperate with you, you think they wouldn’t show more love if let’s a say an attractive girl was interested in them? Yes, of course. They’ll probably even threatened to leave if you if you don’t do certain things for him. Manipulating you too is big part of what they do.

[Asker]

psychologists are shit, I saw one as a child never helped me, just took me for an idiot because I didn't talk at all. I refuse to see one.
He would leave me to cheat on me when he'l lose feeling for me, 70 % of guys cheat and the good guys fall in love with another and leave you.
Good guys would just do this for anyone I'm not special, if they're good person they would save everyone just cause they're nice. Nothing special about saving me or a stranger to them

I'm an attractive girl actually, much mire attractive than majority just got a weird personality but appearance wise Im on the top.

Possessive guys don't threaten to leave, my sister date those and she cheated on one dude was so desperate he whined to her to stay and menace to commit suicide but never threaten to leave he loved her too much for that he kept on sending her hundred of voice over during months asking her to comeback to him.
She left him cause he was too possessive jealous so no those guys don't threaten to leave or cheat on the contrary. Even if the girls have shit personality and do illegal or wrong stuff he still love her and want to stay with her unlike nice guys who leave you for the slightest stuff they dislike.

[Billlewis]

Because there's a naughty, taboo element to them. My advice is to get the toxic guys out of your system and then settle down with a nice, sweet, financially advantageous beta male who will treat you like royalty and worship the ground you walk on.

[Asker]

Hard to find cause guys don’t want to pay anything nowaday

[Billlewis]

You want to bet? I'd like to discuss this with you if you're interested. Please message me, thanks.

[Asker]

You re 60 you re not 20
20 years old guys want to go half for everything and call women gold digger for the smallest things

[Fireguy17]

I'm going to guess that it might be because of the environment that you were raised in?
Anything less than that does not seem normal to you, which is sad.
If you want to change you might need to seek professional help, but you will have to want to change.
Otherwise just accept it and this is your life.

[Asker]

Surely I've been raised in a abuse house.
I don't want to change because I don't feel comfortable with normal people they feel fake to me.
I accept it it's just I only attract nice normal guys not jealous one. it's frustrating, so many women get jealous boyfriend easily but not me while I love them

[FunkyMonkee]

It's just part of being a girl. They LOOOOOVE abusive guys!! And, when they get one, and he beats the shit out of them on a daily basis, they find the nearest nice guy they can to cry on his shoulders about it and cry about how much they WANT a nice guy, just like the one they're talking to but, STILL won't even CONSIDER dating him, instead and either go RIGHT BACK to Mr. Asshole or find a brand new asshole to throw her pussy at!! Happens EVERY fucking time!!

[Asker]

Doubt i would leave my family is toxic but i still stay with them
One time they hit me so hard I fell head First on my drawer semi conscious bleeding on the floor but I didn’t leave them still love them they just a impulsive temper

[TenderFantasy]

To asker: That's really not good by the way. You need to report them for assault. You can die from head injuries actually. I think the sooner you can move out, the better, if what you are saying is all true.

[FunkyMonkee]

@TenderFantasy Yeah, I know. The thing is, though, not all of the abuse or abusers are physical. My cousin, Joyce, got involved with some artist who, as far as I know, was in a wheelchair. They went to her parents for dinner once and uncle Steve made a joke of some sort that Brett took serious offense to and, from that point on (several decades) would NOT allow Joyce to have ANYTHING to do with her family!! The last time I saw her, we were both in our teens!! She, my other cousin, Jeff and I were all born the same year, a few months apart. Every great, great once in a while, when Brett wasn't home for a few hours, Joyce would call up my mother and talk to her for a short while. The last time was about 8 years ago. They were talking on the phone, then Joyce said, "I gotta go! He's coming!" and, before mom could even say goodbye, Joyce slammed the phone down!! Joyce died a few months later from cancer.
My friend, Rae, was married to a city cop. He was a Sgt.! She had me over one night because she was gonna hire me to paint the walls in the cellar steps and, while I was there, she showed me around the house. She took me up to her bedroom to show me the door her hubby ripped off the wall one night when he was pissed at her for some reason. She stopped sleeping with him several years before. I only met him once but he was a raging asshole!! I'm not so sure he wasn't the cause of her death!! She CLAIMS that the reason she had a fractured neck was because she was sitting on the couch one day with her head way back over the top and her 4 year old son sneaked up behind her, jumped up and came down on her with a wrestling move he saw on t. v. and fractured her neck. To help her get over the pain, she started taking fentanyl. I'd never heard of it before then. I asked a druggist and she said it's VERY strong and only comes in two forms, lollipop or patch. Rae didn't do drugs and was too smart to OD, herself!

[FunkyMonkee]

@TenderFantasy My theory is, she was using the patch, put one on herself and fell asleep and then hubby put a second one her and she never woke up! Okay, I guess I believe the story about Max hurting her neck, it COULD happen but, I HAVE to wonder if hubby didn't do it and she was just covering for him. I asked her why she doesn't leave him. She said it's partly, because she made a promise to his family that she'd stay and partly because, "boys in blue stick like glue" so, if she left him, the rest of the police force would make her life a living hell!
And there's quite a few other horror stories I've heard about first hand from friends of mine!

[Asker]

@TenderFantasy Reporting for assault do nothing and I would be left on the street I have no job, I don't have the will to live in difficulty and poverty.

[Slapmynuts]

Girls have a way to being attracted to ,"bad boys"! Lol It's just a thing you are attracted too! I know quite a few women who are in this boat! I'm sorry to hear about your situation!😔

[Asker]

It's ok nowadays it's not that bad

[Drew-1990]

Sadly a lot of girls are but I have to point this out as a nice guy. I am not a pushover or weak willed most of us are not. Don't assume nice=weak or does not. Piss us off see what happens.

[Asker]

Guys don’t do anything even when pissed you aren’t gonna hit a girl cause she pissed you off … what are you gonna do seriously?
And yes they re pushover if you say no they just accept it without fighting for a yes

[Drew-1990]

Wow I'm a pushover because I won't hit a girl? I was raised better than that. You know not hitting someone takes way more will power and strength than doing it. And on accepting your no is called respect. As well as why should I waste my time on someone not interested. You keep thinking this all you are going to get is toxic men who are actually the weak willed ones because they have zero self control.

[Asker]

They lose control cause they love me when you truly love someone you lose control it’s normal

So yes that’s what I Said you say piss us off but aren’t gonna do anything about it so …
Accepting no without fighting is not respect it just show you are not actually interested in the person if not you ll have fight for it

[Drew-1990]

Who says I wouldn't stand up for someone, I don't need to throw punches to defend someone. I have defended plenty of people. And honestly the looks on their faces because they assume I was weak is priceless. And still wrong on the respect thing. I ask you out and you say no, I was interested I have enough respect to not bug you. And that man that doesn't take no he doesn't respect you he wants to use you. And the reason he fights for you is because he cares or wants to defend you, like you said he is toxic he gets made because your his property only he gets to disrespect you, it's out of selfishness not love

[Asker]

I m not talking about defending people also i would like my boyfriend to only care for me and not others
Why would I care if he defend stranger?

I don’t agree for me it just feel like you asked me out like that just cause you found be pretty but didn’t have strong enough feeling for me to fight for me

At least he won’t abandon me or cheat on me he s staying with me

[Asker]

Make me think of my mother who insulting me and critic me to everyone who want to hear but would fight and Throw fit at anyone saying the slighest unrespectful things towards

[Drew-1990]

Again, I'm choosing not to bug you in respect your boundaries. Lots of girls would appreciate that. And really toxic guys are more likely to cheat. They just hide it. The nice guys are way less likely to cheat and some of them have the option to you would be surprised.

[Asker]

I m not convinced by that the amount of guys being cheater is so huge that I think nice or not everyone have the will to cheat but jealous guys that cling to your side 24 /7 cannot cheat they can’t cheat if they’re next to you at all time

For the respect things I just don’t feel love at all when they do this
Feel like they wanted me one moment and not the next as if they were doing a this on a whim

[Drew-1990]

I'm sick of repeating myself, it's respect. It's not a sign that they don't have interest, they probably would love you greatly. You just don't give him a chance and when they show you respect you. Call them weak and say they don't care. You made this asking why you like toxic guys, I don't know why you do but you obviously do. They don't care about you. They care about their "property" That's one reason why they are toxic. And not all nice guys are clingy, some of them. Just love you that much but they don't necessarily need to be around you 24/7, there are definitely pushovers, Don't get me wrong but not all of them by far. And trust me those nice guys when they're happy with a girl other girls. Notice it and want them, again. You would be very surprised how easily they could cheat on you if they wanted to and you would never suspect it because they're the "weak-willed nice guy"

[Asker]

If you say yes directly you’re considered easy and no guys want this
I meant to say toxic jealous men are clingy which I like
Propriety or love at least they won’t toss me at the first problem they get …
Yea that’s what I m afraid of getting cheating on if he got so many option how I m supposed to trust them? How I supposed to know they would stay with me while they have all these option in which there’s surely better person than me in it?

[Drew-1990]

Yeah the assholes will think you're easy for saying yes right away. Not the nice guys. And thinking that a nice guy is more likely to cheat on you is ridiculous. They're the least likely and not because they have no options not. They probably won't even notice their other options. There will be oblivious to it or if they do they won't care because they're more likely to be loyal. To me it sounds like you're into the guys that are going to cheat on you. You just don't realize it. They'll never tell you and they're going to hide it probably from experience.

[Asker]

Clingy possessive guys can't cheat if they're next to you all the time and the nice guys cheat too everyone does or they leave you to get with another woman cause they lost feeling everyone do so

[Drew-1990]

Not every guy Cheats that is just ridiculous nor does every girl cheat. You lose feelings when it feels like the other person doesn't care anymore because you lost interest first. The nice guys probably leave you because they can see you don't respect them so they decide not to waste their time. Doesn't mean they will cheat just start looking for someone that cares and respects them

[Asker]

70 percent of men cheat so yes every kind of man nice or not cheat. And leaving your girlfriend to get with another for whatever reason is as bad as cheating to me.
I'm actually the one that leave them cause they're boring or we get into a fight while texting even before we got to meet on a date.

And that's the reasons i prefer possessive them they just won't leave their girlfriend on a whim, if they don't like something they would try to change it even by force if necessary but they would never leave unlike the nice guys who will leave one days, the possessive never leave. Because while would they abandon something that is their propriety?

[Drew-1990]

I don't know where you get that number but you are obviously hanging out with the wrong guys. Only 20% cheat while 13% of women. So men are more likely yes but women do to. Sounds like you are hanging with fake nice guys not real ones. You just said you leave them so are they really leaving you on a whim or just realizing you don't care and respect them. If they are talking to other girls and leave you for them they are not real nice guys.

[Asker]

No dude you're delusional if you believe those number... Just look Thailand or Nordic countries cheat percentage your mind would be blowing.
Nobody ever left me cause I always left first but I saw many guys leave their wife / girlfriend for the tiniest reasons on a whim don't want to risk, or also we both left at the same time after yelling at each other.
Real nice guys don't exist nobody is nice in life they're just fake till they're push far enough

[Drew-1990]

I think you are wrong, nice guys exist you just haven't met one. Girls also leave for no reason don't just assume guys just do it. I don't know where you got your number from either it is not any near 70%. But there is no reason to keep arguing it is getting neither of us anywhere. But the guys you are going for I bet cheat you just never find out because in the end they don't care.

[DextroShade]

Being jealous or possessive doesn't make a man "toxic", only skanks who want to have a man take care of them while still getting attention from other men believe that. Masculine men are supposed to be territorial.

[Asker]

I don't find it toxic personally I like it but most do. My sister left her boyfriend cause she said he was too jealous but she's quite a lover of attention, she talked to hundred of guys on snapchat

[slatyb]

Because that's what you here up with? If that turns you on, you can get the same thrill from someone who is not abusive.

[Asker]

Not really nice guys are too soft, if they tell me they want me to stop doing something and I don't they would just leave me instead of fighting for me, others guys would just force me to stop it to keep me with them

[Anonymous]

Maybe because you’re toxic? Decent women don’t typically go for those men, at least intentionally. Yeah some people seem great at first.


You seem like you’ll get exactly who you deserve

[Asker]

Possible , i was talking with a Guy sometime and called him an idiot jokingly and he just acted so vexed While to me is it just normal to joke insult friends and lover
Don’t know if that is toxic cause that’s a normal stuff in my family and relation

I would be happy if I could get a possessive jealous guys but I only attract Nice pushover so

[Opinion Owner]

Joking around is one thing. Legitimate drama is another. If someone doesn’t like something. Just stop doing it. If it’s that big of a deal maybe you aren’t compatible

[Opinion Owner]

Well. Maybe decent men of any kind don’t want you. Sorry. I think it’s your attitude that chases them away

[Asker]

If I have to be careful have my words while being around someone then it's better to leave no want to be near someone that don't like me for me.
They're actually acttracted to me and that's the problem; I like possessive guys but I don't attract them.

[Opinion Owner]

Asker like I get it. If you aren’t easily offended by stuff and someone else is. Maybe you just aren’t compatible.

It’s nice to have someone to joke around with. But some people are just different about things

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know what you mean about possessive lol. Just find who you’re compatible with. It doesn’t mean he’s bad. Just maybe you don’t share the same sense of humor.

If you like to joke around and be joked around with. But the other doenst. If it’s a dealbreaker for tou. Then it is what it is.

[Asker]

Yes but it seem majority of people are so easily offended by the tiniest stuff it's frustrating.
It's mostly a deal breaker when they get offended by it.
Possessive is just a good feeling make me feel loved

[Opinion Owner]

Asker I completely understand that. A lot of people can fish it but soon as you poke fun at them. They get upset.

Possessive. It depends on your definition of it.

But I get what you’re saying. I couldn’t be with a woman who can’t take a joke myslef. Though. I would wish her well and hope she finds someone who makes her happy

[Opinion Owner]

Sometimes it comes down to compatibility. It doesn’t make him bad per say. But. Maybe it’s not meant to be

[Anonymous]

Maybe you grew up in that type of environment.

[Asker]

I did, I used to it and when I talk to people who are normal I don't go along with them I feel like they're fake they lie to me and they also feel uncomfortable with me.

[Opinion Owner]

So are you trying to get away from that type of man?

[Asker]

I try to get with jealous guys, they're my ideal

[Opinion Owner]

Really? So you get off on that?

[KrakenAttackin]

Because you are a damaged product of a morally bankrupt generation.

[Asker]

At least I'm attractive

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... how's that working for you?

[Asker]

I struggle getting jealous men attracted to me only nice guys are but look wise I'm very happy. I attract lots of guys just not the one I like but guess jealous guys prefer less pretty girls and more average one.

[DextroShade]

The men you want probably aren't taking you seriously because you have red flags that make them believe you are a hoe.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Because you're toxic yourself so they match your energy.

[Asker]

maybe who know

[Asker]

I only attract good men though

[Kristierose]

Because ladies love outlaws and I should know because I have spent quite a few years in prison and baby loves that about me

[Asker]

Looking at your age you sure do have experienced

[BarryLiverstone]

You like the attention

[BarryLiverstone]

And a guy who has passion and will fight isn’t toxic

[BarryLiverstone]

How many nice guys have you known?

[Asker]

Guys that coerce women to get a yes are considered toxic but are attractive
A lot all Nice Guy I know just accept no without fighting for it and are very annoying they just accept things as they are

[BarryLiverstone]

Coercing can be subjective. If you mean a guy doesn’t accept when she says no and will fight through her shit tests then that’s a normal guy. If you are saying a nice guy will accept the first rejection and not fight I can see why you feel that’s annoying.

So you see how coercing is different from manipulating?

[Asker]

Yes that what I m saying guys accepting the first no are the worst
I find fighting for it normal but is it considered as toxic these days

[BarryLiverstone]

Don’t let people convince you that fighting is always toxic. It can be toxic in certain cases. But like you said, you want him to not take the first no as the final word. You feel like if he does accept the first no he’s not really serious or passionate about you.

[Asker]

Yes that totally that if he take no it mean he s not interested
When I want something and someone tell me no then I try to convince them and if I didn’t really wanted it I would just drop it and Forget about it

[BarryLiverstone]

Exactly. So then you agree that’s not toxic. Actually the nice guy who never fights is the toxic one as he’s passive aggressive

[Asker]

Yes I don’t see it as toxic I see it as being normal I just used the word toxic cause that’s what people consider it like nowadays especially those Nice guys and feminist

[Asker]

Nice Guy take the first no then insult you to everyone behind your back they re so weird

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok now I understand. You were just being an idiot and trying to use their words. We gud :)

[BarryLiverstone]

Nice guys lack confidence and are desperate. They are so fearful if they try harder that she will get them into trouble.

[Asker]

Being an idiot is a big word i was just trying go make myself be understandable to the majority
It’s more trying to fit in than being an idiot
I mean if I don’t use their words they weren’t gonna understand so

[BarryLiverstone]

Be yourself. If they don’t understand it’s on them and you can better explain.

[Asker]

Yes a lot of them have talked about making women sign contract for flirting or having sex with them since they re so afraid of getting trouble with the laws they re crazy

They act Nice cause they hide their shitty passive agressive personnality that do not attract anyone then go ont insulting women on internet as if this is what a true nice person would do

[Asker]

Yeah but I m not a native English speaker so sometime it can be hard to get the proper words proper wording to get my point across

[BarryLiverstone]

Tbh you do well at speaking English then as I thought you are a native speaker.

Signing a contact is BS. People have a social contract and everyday they understand it and respect each other. Crazies who need a written contract to kiss will die off

[Asker]

It been many years since I learnt it and use it everyday

Nobody is gonna sign their contract they would stay virgin until the end of their life at this point

[noohair]

You are attracted to players and not gentlemen.

[Asker]

they aren't player
an gentleman just don't get along with me either, they're too soft

[noohair]

I guess our modern society does not know what a real gentleman is anymore. And more guys watch porn and act like fools.