Polls: Relationships

While laying in my bed trying to sleep I heard my dad get a call. It was 11:30pm but I didn't think much of it until I heard a woman's voice. I realized they were video chatting and that instantly made me suspicious.

(Bit of a backstory here, when I was 12 years old I caught my dad cheating. I saw him texting a woman, calling her baby and saying some explicit things and I told my mom. They argued a bit, but then it never came back up. My mom's not the type to forgive cheating so he probably convinced her that I didn't know what I was talking about.)

So when I heard this woman on the phone with him, my mind instantly went back to that moment. I confirmed it was definitely an affair and with the same woman. They told each other "I love you" and that made me even more sick. I'm 17 years old, so I know for sure this has been going on for at LEAST 5-6 years. I'll be 18 soon and my brother just turned 15, in 3 years my parents won't have any kids in the house and that makes this even more difficult.

Do I tell my mom again, do I confront my dad first, or do I stay out of it completely? This has been weighing heavily on me since I was 12 and it completely ruined my relationship with my father. I don't think I can hold all of this in again...

Let me give you an example: you have a brief romance with someone, but then you’re not able to physically see them again for, say, a year and a half to two years because you live in different countries and there’s travel restrictions, border closures, etc. You still see what they’re up to through social media, so it’s not like they’ve totally disappeared from your radar. Then, after a year or two, they reappear, you cross paths again, and have the opportunity to see them in person. Assuming they haven’t changed for the worst since then, do you think you would still be attracted to them? If so, do you think even more than you would have been if you’d seen them after only, say, six months to a year apart? Or would you no longer have any interest in them, do you need to physically be with someone on a constant, regular basis in order to stay attracted to them? I know it’s complicated and different for every person and every situation, but I know that it’s something a lot of people around the world are going through right now. What are your thoughts?

If believe this, vote A

If you believe this, vote B

Abuse can come in many forms and can happen within families, friendships and romantic relationships- and can happen to both men and women Here are the different types of abuse:

• Physical abuse - Not only hitting. They might restrain you or throw objects. They might pinch or shove you and claim it’s a ‘joke’.
• Psychological abuse - Includes name-calling, threats and manipulation, blaming you for the abuse or ‘gas-lighting’ you.
• Financial abuse - Controlling your access to money or resources. They might take your wages, stop you working, or put you in debt.
• Sexual abuse - Doesn’t have to be physical. They might manipulate or coerce you into doing things you don’t want to do.
• Coercive control - When an abuser uses a pattern of behaviour over time to exert power and control. It is a criminal offence.
• Tech abuse - They might send abusive texts, demand access to your devices, track you with spyware, or share unwanted images of you online.

Here is a list of global helplines for anyone reading this who is currently experiencing abuse. It is important to recognise the problem, because you DO NOT deserve this and they are the problem, not you. Please get help, it is never to late do to so and I promise it does get better. You were happier before u met this person - you can be happy again without them ❤❤❤ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines

I’ve been dating this guy for 7 months. In the past month he got laid off (which was very detrimental to him) and also lost his cousin who he was close to, from Covid. Because of these two things, he’s been very cold and distant - not only to me but also to his close friends/family. Won’t respond to texts or calls. I’ve been very understanding and told him that all I ask is that he lets me know if he needs space or if I can help in any way, and I’d be happy to. But instead, he just ignores everyone. The last time I spoke with him was a little over a week ago. He had invited me to a friends bbq and everything was fine until we started arguing about little things and he said a few hurtful things out of anger. I told him that although I know he’s going through a lot, saying hurtful things to me is not acceptable and I won’t tolerate it. He said “I love you. I’m sorry and we’ve just had a rough month but I still want to be with you” After that night he’s messaged a few times, but it’s been cold and distant. Then the last message I’ve received from him is “I’ve been so upset all day and sick to my stomach about our last argument. I don't know how we can ever move past this” and then just silence. I’ve tried to message and call without a response. I know he is ok bc he’s been active on fb and Snapchat. I even messaged his mother (I have a relationship with most of his family members) and she said she’s sorry and she hasn’t been able to get ahold of him either. I don't know if this means we’re over or what I should do? Please help