Search Results: get over cheating

I am currently facing a situation where I don't know what to do. My family has been toxic throughout my life and has not allowed me any privacy growing up, which already takes its toll. I had to sneak around and date once I reached college because of how crazy my family was about it, to the point my serious 4-year relationship ended over it. Now, I have gotten serious with a guy (engaged), and my family disapproves of him because of his financial status (he doesn't make enough) and thinks he's abusive/disrespectful towards them and me. For example, my mom claims he's disrespectful because he hung up the phone on her while she was speaking. But she purposely interrupted my phone call with him, knowing that got him mad since we were trying to spend time together.

I lived with him (7 hours away from family) for a couple of months before my family got involved. My sister came saying that my mom wasn't doing well health-wise, and I had to leave to visit/take care of her. My partner didn't want me to go, but I didn't want to leave my family hanging, so I left. I came to find out that they planned to keep me here from June (when my sister came) to September/October for a "ceremony" where they could do their rites of passage before marriage. Still, I'm not confident they will actually do that with the way they all have been behaving about it as it's getting closer to time.

However, my partner has his quirks and isn't perfect. He does have trust issues because his last girlfriend cheated on him, so he fought over looking through my phone a couple of times in the past, but that's gotten resolved like other issues we had before. He marches to the beat of his drum, so he'll tell people if he doesn't think something is right according to his morals.

I don't want to compromise my relationship with my family, but I'm afraid that'll happen regardless. I understand my family's concerns about him, but he's not the bad person they portray him as. Help.

I actually felt sad for this infidelity story I've once read at Reddit. It was written 2 years ago. The woman was 39 (she must be 41 by now) and her now husband cheated on her with a co-worker. He spent some of his wife's money on the affair and took her homemade meals and desserts to secretly feed the other woman. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 kids. He ended up having a mid-life crisis and supposedly wanted to see what it was like having sex with another woman, even briefly fell in love with the other woman. She forgives and agrees to marriage counseling. She felt she owed him one and clearly wants to save the marriage.

Flashback to 2002 when they were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

When the woman was much younger (then 19 years old), she cheated on her then boyfriend (now husband) with his best friend Tony. He caught her in a compromised position, both asleep in the couch with the TV running on. Supposedly the guy was in boxers and she was with jeans on but only with bra on top. Apparently they had already finished doing the deed by then and there was alcohol. It was an affair going on for 3 months. She's been repentant for all those years, never cheated again and was faithful as a fiancee and wife. She got forgiven and (yes he still proposed 5 years after the cheating incident, claiming he forgave her completely and wouldn't bring it anymore) they still got married.

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

On the woman's previous post, she actually is full of guilt all over again and feels she deserved it. Did she deserved to get cheated on 20 years later? She cheated in 2002 as a 19 year-old girlfriend with no kids. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 children?