Search Results: love being single

Going to be 30 soon & ask myself why I’m incapable of being in a relationship with a man, people can say that I’m picky but I don’t fully believe I should take all the blame. Female friends I’ve had in the past seem to get dates easier/are okay with putting out & some have unintentionally made me second guess my looks, as they seem to have it easier yet other people have told me I’m equally/more attractive than they are. The last time I “dated” someone was when I was in my early twenties & I’m glad that ended because this guy felt like settling. It justifies that love isn’t blind & it’s better to be alone vs being in a mediocre relationship. I know I’m not all that but I feel like I should be able to attract quality men, all my life I feel like I’ve been invisible to men. I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (don’t count dating apps) & the very few times someone told me that a guy found me attractive (normally a guy I also thought was attractive), they never told me directly & it was always word of mouth.

I feel like I am cursed, that last person I saw in my early twenties was through a dating app & that’s how I’ve met all of these men I’ve met up with. The apps are continually getting worse & they’ve always had a bad rep, getting matches are never an issue it just fails to go anywhere for a number of reasons. And sometimes when I’ve met guys in person & it didn’t work out, there’s just something about them that doesn’t live up to my expectations (even though they look like their pics). I’m unsure if my dating logic is unrealistic, dating apps are the only way for me to meet people & don’t understand how I can be this old & haven’t been in love yet.

The last thing I’ll add is my lack of sex drive, masturbation doesn’t do anything for me & I haven’t had sex since I saw that person back in my early twenties. However, it’s known that some women need to be in a healthy relationship in order to have that *sexual desire*.

We’ve been dating for 3.5 years. He moved out of town about 6 months ago. The last time he came to visit him and his kids stayed at my house the whole two weeks. We were planning for me to visit him soon & I told him I’d have to bring my son this time. He said ok no problem. Then the following day he said sister asked if his nephew can fly down with me. So I said um okay two kids shouldn’t be too hard. He was like well I want my kids to come they haven’t been here yet. I said understandable but it’s only one of me, that’ll be 4 kids 5-9 years old plus luggage, I’d love to bring them but that’s going to be too difficult. I’m bringing my son this time because I have to. So he said if I don’t bring them my son can’t come.

Little back story! He was a single father when we met & I took care of his kids up until about 3 months before he moved. They’ve stayed with me while he was working even times when my son was with his dad or spending the night with family members. I took them to school when he needed me to, treated them as my own. Their mom came back in the picture after years of refusing to take them while living in the same city. She would take them a few times a month then when I came in the picture she got even more distant. She would always take their daughter but NEVER the boys. So I stepped up.

If I could’ve driven just so everyone could go I would have but I can’t drive my car that far & he knows that. None of the kids have flown before. 2 are afraid of heights. Not only would I have to fly I’ll have to get an Uber, train & another Uber because he’ll be at work. I can count on one hand the amount of times I needed him to keep my son or do anything for him. So for him to basically say my son is not welcome to his house without his kids being there, after EVERYTHING I’ve done for his children with or without my son being there is soo unbelievable. I broke up with him. Was this situation worth it?