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I got emotional when I watched a TV show called "Time of death", it follows the last days or months of someone who's terminal. I got emotional as the mom gave her speech in which she expressed how horrible it was to see her son rapidly deteriorate from cancer, and fade away.

It also made me think about my childhood dog, Katie. She ended up getting sicker and sicker as her pancreas started shutting down and she could hardly walk down the stairs. She was my dog from 2007-2020. As previously mentioned, I never fit in, anywhere, Katie was my everything.

I was closer to her than most people are with their siblings, I hated being away from her, and she always howled, cried out and desperately lunged at me every time I left for school. She'd wait by the window for me, jump up, wagging her tail, and as I come in, there was a love seat by the door She'd run up, stand on, and lick me. She'd put her two paws on my shoulders to do it.

When I had surgery and was in the hospital, she refused to leave my room, even to use the bathroom and when I came back, she always cuddled so close to me and I'd always hold her close. Seeing her condition worsen and her strength fade was so hard. I'd have to carry her up and down the stairs, she'd be scared to try to walk down them.

Then I'd have to bring food up to her, her worry and sorrow always on her face as I desperately tried to comfort her. Then the day came, I remember how even in her last moments, she looked up and licked me as i told her how much I loved her, and how I'd never forget her.

I see now that although I have dogs now and love them, Katie's death burned the deepest hole in my heart.

I'm not ashamed to admit that my eyes are quite wet as I write this, and I sobbed as I looked at this photo taken days before her death. Seeing her nose, her eyes, I really loved her. To Katie, I will always remember you, thank you for loving me, thank you for staying with me, and thank you for being my dog❤️