Search Results: good match for this guy

You know when you have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it. And I don’t either hence why I’m posting this 🤷🏻‍♀️

TLDR: based off the description, is this something that’s unlucky in love?

28F, I have had no luck on dating apps for the years I’ve been on and off them. I dated someone briefly for a few months back when I was 23, it just wasn’t a good experience. Since then I refuse to settle for anyone again, I think I am genuinely unlucky. I was bullied as a kid up to HS, some of my family wasn’t any better. I struggled with my weight & when I was 23 I lost a good amount of it, I’m the same weight now for the most part. I didn’t get any more attention, weight loss results in a lot of attention for people. You’d think as a woman it’s easier & I think it is for most but not me. Funny thing is I’m told I’m cute/attractive by people (not only by family) but guys never approach me in person. I’m not a friendly person which is why I use the apps, I get matches but in the end it doesn’t work out for all the reasons you can think of. I told myself at 26 if I’m in the same position we have a problem, 2 years later & I think it’s time to throw the towel. I think for a while I’ve become more & more disinterested in using them too, maybe I go through phases? Most people are taken, married & have kids at my age, it’s not meant to be if it hasn’t happened for me yet in my opinion.

You know the saying the good ones are already taken? The good looking ones always are, does that mean I’m not one of the good ones? This post comes across as very defeatist but I’m just being blunt, I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years. I’ve become more and more inactive, I can’t tell if I’m uninterested or burnt out. Getting matches have never been the issue, it’s just working out. I’ve never been approached by the kind of guy I’d actually date, people tell me that guys look at me but they never do anything about it. The ones that do aren’t the types of guys you’d want, don’t want to overthink it either but I have a very low sex drive. I don’t socialize so the apps are the only way, I don’t want kids & think it’s time to come to terms with this. My mom said this a while ago, “if you choose to be single your whole life that was your choice”. That was a bit insensitive & ignorant

I’m starting to realize that maybe men just don’t like me, I’m going to be 30 soon & never been in a proper relationship. I don’t want kids at least but I really don’t think I’m unattractive, I have self esteem issues so my opinion changes. But I’ve been on the dating apps for years on and off, my interest in them just became lesser over the years. Getting matches are never the issue it’s just it working out, always ghosting, fizzling out, etc. I’m told I’m cute/attractive, I never get asked out by guys in person, I can confidently say I’ve never been approached by a guy I found physically attractive. Back when I was 23 I dated someone briefly & I felt so offended by only being able to attract him it felt like settling I couldn’t be with him, I’ve been alone this whole time that shows you how men feel about me. When I was younger and around people my age more often I was told these guys found me attractive but they never did anything about it. The fact that beautiful people are always taken it makes me realize I’m maybe just not good enough. Isn’t it strange being as old as I am & still not meeting someone that I actually like? I’m not asking for a lot: good looks, taller than me (doesn’t have to be 6+ ft), educated, good sense of humor, not a cheater etc. I feel like I’ve genuinely become less interested in dating with my experience, I have a lower than average sex drive too I think