One of the weird aspects of hearing guys here talk about their struggles with dating is that almost none of them seem to know how to flirt. It seems like every time a guy talks about his issues, everything is super serious. And I am left wondering, do these dudes even like socializing? Do they even talking to women? Do they have fun when they are out on a date or when out with friends?
I guess for me, when I started dating a lot I just enjoyed having a woman on my arm. It seemed like they made everything brighter, better when we went out. I would take women with me to see boxing matches. I would take women with me the bar to play pool, even if they didn't. I would take them to nice restaurants or the driving range. It was always great to have them with me when I was out for a business meeting.
And I never stopped flirting. I flirted with women who were tens. I flirted with women who were fives. Because it is just fascinating to talk with them, flirt, laugh, and have a good time.
But a lot of guys here when they talk about dating, it isn't about having a good time. It is about a mission or a goal. It is about some kind of schedule you follow to get to a destination. And I don't know why any woman would go for that.
Craig Ferguson is the master. When he was on he easily had the funniest talk show. It was so short-lived. But he conducted a master class on flirting. He could flirt with the best of them. He had average looks. But he could talk that talk. And it was all about being light-hearted and playful.
But this is the important part. He flirted with almost every woman who came on his show. And he would do these three things.
1. He would compliment them. But beyond just the "you're pretty" boring crap. He always complimented women in the framework of what they ere wearing. Like he would say "that dress is stunning on you". Or he would say "oh those shoes look so beautiful on such pretty feet". It showed an attention to detail and an interest in them as people.
2. The other thing is to playfully mock them. Light-hearted, of course. Craig would mock women who talked about eating right or who were into some kind exercise stuff or whatever. He would use it in two ways, when a woman wanted to prove she was special or and maybe this is just me. I would playfully mock women who wanted to feel normal like everyone else. I used this hook on the really beautiful women. But they would always be up to proving they lived like normal folks.
3. Be self-deprecating. But don't over do it. You are playfully mocking her, so you have to playfully mock yourself. But most guys here will go overboard and create a pity party.
These are some of the ways I flirted over my long career. One thing I would do if I thought a woman was interested in me is I would wink at her. But I would overdo it on purpose to get her to laugh.
The other thing was, I would flirt in with women, in front of other women. Now I was a dog. That's why I did it. But this is an effective strategy if you are trying to get your crush to notice you.
But the thing that has to change about a lot of you guys is you have to find a way to have fun when talking to women. You have to have fun going out and doing different activities with women on your arm. And the thing is the goal does not have to always be sex or even romance for that matter. It is all about getting the skills to date the women you think can be long term partners.
Because if you can't even have joy when conversing with women, what's the point? Just go find a prostitute and live your life. The point to being in a relationship is that you have to "relate" to another person. If you can't stand women or you are anti-social, just get whores and live like an ogre. Sheesh. . .