Search Results: wait or move on

I switched gyms and saw GC for the first time 4 months ago. He’s quiet and focused on his workouts. I planned to leave state for 2 months so I figured I’d start a small convo before leaving to get his number. We had 3 convos over 3 days. On the third day, he said “while you have your phone out, take my number”. Then he asked, will you come back at all [from your trip]?

I took this as in he was interested in me.

I sent him a text with my first name only. So I asked before we left the gym if he’d like to hang out before I leave state. He said, “I have to be transparent, I have a girlfriend but things have been rocky and I don’t want to cross boundaries. She has an PA exam in May and I’m waiting until then.” He also is moving to CO in the fall and already told her last week not to move out there for him.

Over the next two days, he made the first move to strike up convo at the gym. I asked why he gave me his number and he said, “I didn’t want to miss an opportunity if she and I break up.”

I told him I’d wait for him to text me to let me know if anything changes and I wouldn’t contact him to be respectful of his relationship.

He found my social media and looks at my stories but hasn’t followed me. I believe he visits his girlfriend on the weekend (yesterday and today) and he viewed my stories both days in the morning and evening. I also think he found out that I’m 5 years older than him.

They’ve been together for 7 years (17-25yo). They both have deep Christian faiths. Their parents were college roommates. They played coed sports together in HS.

Am I just a shiny toy, distraction, rebound?

i confessed my feelings for my online bestie the other day. we've known each other for about only one and a half months but i found myself already liking him that way and wishing we were together as partners, not just besties. this is rare for me, as i've rarely had a crush. we are very compatible and my intuition has been telling me he's the one. both of us havb never been in a relationship yet even though we're uni age. at the very begging, we used to be flirty and playful and he even said he might already like me romantically too, but after a few days, he said he rushed into it a bit too much just because he assumed getting into a relationship would make him feel better but he realized he'd first have to focus on himself through selfcare and improve his self confidence and stuff before getting into relationship and he's not ready for it, especially long distance. also, he said he doesn't know if he really likes me romantically and he's learned not to fall in love easily online from his past experience. i then asked him if there's any chance we could be together in the future after we meet up (probably next year, this December at the earliest but next summer is more likely, but neither is set so i can't be sure ) , but he said he doesn't know because the future is unpredictable to anyone, which is true and he also kept saying he doesn't want me to wait on him since when we meet up and he decides we can't date i'd get hurt and he'd feel bad for making me wait only to get rejected after all in the end and he just wants me to be happy. but i can't help hoping we can be together in the future. should i completely move on from now already ( it'd take time ofc, but i'm resilient so i think i can train myself over time to move on and just stay besties with him ) or is it okay for me to let myself continue liking him that way and secretly wait for him to judge when he comes to my country sometime hopefully next year.