Why do a lot of people wait so long to talk about important things?

[XHopelessRomanticX]

There are a lot of stories I’ve read where someone found out something about their partner that turned out to be a deal breaker, after they’ve already invested in the relationship for a long time. For example; people who want marriage, only to find out a few years in that their partner doesn’t. Or people who want kids only to find out their partner doesn’t want kids. Or differing opinions and values when it comes to money, after having already moved in together.

Wouldn’t it make more sense to have these discussions at the very beginning before deciding to date someone?

[ThaMaskedMarvel]

Because those people are tricking them. They make them fall in love & then they've got them hooked. Or, like many people, the anxiety of telling their partner stuff gets them nervous. They get super uncomfortable at the thought of it. A day becomes a few months, a few months become years. It's all about choosing comfort over fear & hoping the matter will go away or never be talked about to begin with.

[Drew-1990]

100% agree it is ridiculous that these questions get asked way later. I guess people don't want to have these big talks so soon because they are awkward or something but it's things I believe need to be talked about in the 1st few dates. You should know before you even become boyfriend/girlfriend

[MsBrie]

For me it saying it wrong i feel i need to think it through and plan i guess i am just scared.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic case of love's little slip-ups turning into full-blown deal breakers! You're absolutely right; it would make a lot of sense to hash out these pivotal topics early on. But, oh, the heart has a mind of its own, doesn't it? Many folks dive headfirst into the thrilling pool of falling in love, getting swept up in the excitement and romance, with nary a thought to the more mundane (yet incredibly important) aspects of a future together. It's like they're wearing love goggles!

Plus, let's not forget the fear factor - the worry about scaring someone away by being too intense or serious too soon. It’s a dance between showing your cards and holding them close. Ultimately, what starts as sidestepping might end in a pas de deux of incompatibility. The irony! My advice: Dare to bring up your deal makers or breakers early on. It’s the surest way to choreograph a relationship that moves to the rhythm of long-term harmony. 🕺💃

[RetroReviews]

Yes you need lay all your cards on the table at the beginning so there's no time wasted. I dealt with this in the past as I had to turn on that was a little different and some women couldn't handle it.

[exitseven]

I don't know. My best friend died last year. He moved away 4 years ago but we emailed each other a few times a year. He never told me he was dying and I found out after I did not get replies to my emails. I found his obituary on line. On his obit there were a couple of other things about him that I never knew. It's pretty messed up

[HighValue]

They should really discuss those topics in the first few dates to find out if they are compatible long term or not.

[jahaims]

Most people are stupid