What is this guy thinking and why did he suddenly change his behavior?

[Anonymous]

I was friends with this guy for a few months. We met online. He works a LOT so we never got around to hanging out until...

At the end of last year, he started pursuing me like crazy, we hit it off, hung out and talked a lot. He did lots of sweet things for me, kept telling me why he liked me, and got shy when I smiled at him.

One month later, we both got crazy busy and it was hard to see each other. We hung out once, he asked when I was free again, but I turned the question back at him since he's busier than me. He said he'd let me know the next day to make plans for the weekend.

He sent an email saying he still hasn't figured out his schedule but would find out real soon. But days passed and I didn't get a response from him.

So I waited 3 days and finally sent him a text asking if he was ok. He just said that he was working 16 hour days. Then I asked him about weekend plans and he didn't respond. I wait out the weekend not texting or emailing.

Finally I sent him an email laying out details of what happened: we hung out a lot, got busy, then nothing, but I said I still liked him, and told him to call me. It was a long email, but mostly laying out facts.

A few hours later, he told me that he was sorry for not getting back to me, and that he doesn't know what's wrong with him, and that he was working all weekend, and that he'd reply to my email.

Nope, he never replied to my email. I texted him once to ask what he was doing that night, then IM'd him an hour later with one short message saying 'what's up', and then stopped. He didn't respond to my email like he said, he didn't respond to my text, or to my IM. I stopped trying. It's been a good 4 weeks since we last talked.

I still think about him a lot, and am obviously still disappointed.

He was so direct about everything from the get-go. My email was pretty straightforward, so I figured he'd at least tell me 'i'm not interested anymore'. But I didn't even get that.

More info: I should also add that we met on an online dating/social networking site. Neither of us really meet people off of it, we just killed a bit of time using it. After a month of dating, we both deactivated our accounts. A few days after he ignored(?) me, I reactivated my account and saw that he wasn't back on it. But he reactivated a few days later...and viewed my profile several times. Yet he did not contact me.

What the heck is going on?

[jdcpa]

Let me tell you something..

When you're in school, you have 15 credit hours. That means, IF your professors take attendance, you HAVE to be in class for 15 hours out of 168 hours in the 7-day week.

15 hours of class + 56 hours of sleep = 71 hours

That leaves you with an other 97 hours of FREE TIME during the week.

That's a LOT of fcukn time!

Let's say you start working 40 hours a week. That leaves you with 57 hours a week. That's still a good amount of time.

Let's say that you're a professional, and the firm you're working at wants you to work a MINIMUM of 80 hours per week.

Let's do some math.

56 hours sleep +

80 hours work +

2.5 hours breakfast (weekdays) +

2.5 hours lunch (weekdays) +

5 hours dinner (weekdays) +

2 hours breakfast (weekends) +

2 hours lunch (weekends) +

2 hours dinner (weekends) +

2 hours cleaning (weekends) +

2 hours personal care (weekends) +

5 hours personal care (weekdays) = 166 hours (out of 168 hours in a 7-day week)

So assuming you can instantly teleport from your house to your job, and back home every day; you're going to need to make some sacrifices..

Sacrifices already on top of the sacrifices you're already making!

- No social life

- No relationship

- No sex life

- No fun/entertainment

- No working out

- No music/singing

- No hobbies

- No relaxation

Your whole life already consists of just WORK, SLEEP, EAT, BE CLEAN, BE RESTED, AND READY TO WORK & COME BACK HOME TO REPEAT.. OVER & OVER & OVER AGAIN!

In order to work with the limited amount of time you have during the week, you need to sacrifice, by picking and choosing, and making trade-offs among your BASICS!

Either:

- Sleep

- Food

- Personal care

- Cleanliness

will have to pay the price.. and for guys.. Cleanliness is the first to go.. then Personal care.. then Food.. then Sleep

So the fact that he even SAW you, means he had to sacrifice his life essentials that week, just to be able to see you and have the mental energy to think about you..

You don't have that problem, because you're not on the same boat as him.. You don't know what it's like..

You're like Marie Antonette, telling the broke peasants to buy cake to eat if they can't eat bread; being completely oblivious to the key issue; the peasants have no money! If they can't afford bread, they sure as hell can't afford cake!

You have FREE TIME! He has no idea what that looks like anymore!

He makes time just to see you. But when he's not seeing you, he's working, doing things he NEEDS to do, or sleeping! That leaves little or no time or mental energy for YOU to pop up in his head.

You on the other hand, have loads of free time, to worry about all sorts of things like; is he thinking about me? why hasn't he called me? maybe he cut his lunch break to 15mins instead of 30mins and met s/o else!

You're dating a professional with a busy life; that's what's going on..

[ChelseyLately]

This is the most idiotic reply I've read all day.

[cjsbabygirl]

What I honestly believe is that during the time you both got really busy, he found a different chick and is either with her, or putting his spare time into getting with her, so he's like putting you on hold to see if it works with the other chick cause he likes you, but likes her more, but wants you as a back up, if I were you, DEFENITLY back off, don't tell him your gonna stop texting or anything like that, just STOP, and if he is worth it and likes you enough then he will come to you, as hot as he may be, I'm telling you, the hotter they are, the bigger there heads are, guys like comotition, they don't want a girl that shows so much intrest, GUYS LOVE TO CHASE a girl, so if you do what I'm telling you, IT WILL WORK I promiss. Totally stop any contact with him, and when he finally does text you, or emails you, it wanting to hang out, as happy as you will be, and as hard as this sounds, you cant, this is the most important thing, you have to tell him something along the lines of "uh well, I think me and (a friend of yours who is a Girl) were gonna go to the mall but if we don't end up going I will call you" then DONT CALL, that has to be the last time you talk to him untill HE CALLS or texts you, then if he says something like "so what movie did you guys see?" (cause he Won't let you know he was dissapointed he didn't hang out with you, he's gonna act like he don't care, YOU should say "hu? what movie? oh yeah, she (your friend) had to...do what ever, or her kid was sick, or whatever, So I just stayed at home all weekend and and rented movies and ate junk food, He will be blown awya, he will either act like it don't botter him, or he might say something like oh, I thought you were gonna call me if you didn't go? then you say, oh, I'm sooo sorry, I totally forgot, how about we hang out this saturday, then give an idea, like "we can go do... whatever, but then ton friday you call him and cancle, saying, you have to help your mom do... whatever, but promisse you can tomarrow (sunday) or next weekend, Then by this time, he will be going crazy, I PROMISSE YOU, if he likes you, your worth waiting 2 weeks for, and he will, if he dont, that's a good thing cause he would have broke your heart. Never let a guy know how much you like him, NEVER, and expecially the super hot ones, they know how hot they are, and know they can get any womon he wants, when he wants, so they put women on hold, That's why HOT GUYS are usually PLAYERS, cause they can, you gotta act like your interested so they know your avalible, but Not to interested other wise in there eyes "you are theirs if they want you to be" like I said, they love to have compotition, play hard to get honey and tell me how it works out! DONT GIVE IN PUT HIM OFF 2 TIMES IN A ROW, NOT ONE, TWO! Good luck!

[goldberg7633]

well...dont hold me to this but maybe he figured you both had too much of a hectic schedule to try and date...

[stktder]

Unless there is something you have not told us, it sounds like he has moved on.

[Anonymous]

It look's like he might have met someone else, and is using you in-case something goes wrong in his other relationship. So then he would just go back too you.

[ChelseyLately]

He's not interested.