Search Results: sex drive

You know the saying the good ones are already taken? The good looking ones always are, does that mean I’m not one of the good ones? This post comes across as very defeatist but I’m just being blunt, I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years. I’ve become more and more inactive, I can’t tell if I’m uninterested or burnt out. Getting matches have never been the issue, it’s just working out. I’ve never been approached by the kind of guy I’d actually date, people tell me that guys look at me but they never do anything about it. The ones that do aren’t the types of guys you’d want, don’t want to overthink it either but I have a very low sex drive. I don’t socialize so the apps are the only way, I don’t want kids & think it’s time to come to terms with this. My mom said this a while ago, “if you choose to be single your whole life that was your choice”. That was a bit insensitive & ignorant

I’m starting to realize that maybe men just don’t like me, I’m going to be 30 soon & never been in a proper relationship. I don’t want kids at least but I really don’t think I’m unattractive, I have self esteem issues so my opinion changes. But I’ve been on the dating apps for years on and off, my interest in them just became lesser over the years. Getting matches are never the issue it’s just it working out, always ghosting, fizzling out, etc. I’m told I’m cute/attractive, I never get asked out by guys in person, I can confidently say I’ve never been approached by a guy I found physically attractive. Back when I was 23 I dated someone briefly & I felt so offended by only being able to attract him it felt like settling I couldn’t be with him, I’ve been alone this whole time that shows you how men feel about me. When I was younger and around people my age more often I was told these guys found me attractive but they never did anything about it. The fact that beautiful people are always taken it makes me realize I’m maybe just not good enough. Isn’t it strange being as old as I am & still not meeting someone that I actually like? I’m not asking for a lot: good looks, taller than me (doesn’t have to be 6+ ft), educated, good sense of humor, not a cheater etc. I feel like I’ve genuinely become less interested in dating with my experience, I have a lower than average sex drive too I think

(Assuming she is physically attractive to you).

Men complain about getting bored with women (including their partners), get annoyed by their emotional needs and anxieties, get repulsed and frustrated when facing a discussion that is not faced with with logic; complain about women wanting gender equality, thinking they wouldn't do their part or that they wouldn't offer enough on the table in exchange; complain about women being difficult to talk with and "expensive".

Now, imagine a woman who counters the complaints: she shares the same interests as yours with the same depth, has a technical and goal-oriented mindset, is confident and insightful about any topic you open, takes a lot of initiative to drive the day, is not anxious, doesn't feel gender inequality effects, doesn't need a boyfriend (but accepts one), is very logical and assertive during conflicts, coherent, chill and very easy to start any conversation with, men have an unusually very good esteem of her, she manager herself alone by a lot, reasons like a man would, knows what she wants, is generous, trustworthy.

All this can easily come with a cost that is typical of any "too" independent individual: she is sometimes cold and drastic, likes sex but doesn't easily commit to a relationship, doesn't perceive your authority, puts in you in circumstances that imply gender equality, is often too busy for your emotional needs and fully absorbed in her interests, doesn't reply fast to your texts, can't fall for any mind game or power struggles and reads your intentions in advance, doesn't forgive you by just by "missing" you, fights about strongly grounded opinions, is not afraid to offend you with a "no", has male friends she shares interests with, she needs alone-time and if you don't follow her initiatives she leaves you behind.

Is that a cost you would pay?