Search Results: dating younger or older people

30F either DA or FA, want to say I’m some kind of avoidant. Based on life experiences, are these pretty tell tale signs I’m probably…well not attractive? I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships.

Last thing I’ll add was being bullied pretty badly as a kid, again I was chubby so I know this played a part. Worse in middle school, I didn’t have to be homeschooled but it still sucked really freaking bad. And in HS but not as extreme as middle school, HS was more mean girls if anything. As an adult at old jobs, I did have confrontation/clashing w/personalities too. And let’s not forget shit bosses. Since I’ve worked remotely for the past few years, I haven’t had drama with coworkers or mgmt. Let’s hope it stays that way, I’ve had to deal with toxic family members too but that’s a thing of the past.

I’M SO CONVINCED THESE THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE

Me and my friend have had similar age preferences for years and that was to stick to men our age. I’m 40, she’s 39. People have been telling us for years to date men who were several years older than us. This includes our parents, aunts and uncles, each other’s parents, family friends, church members, etc. she’s even had friends our own age tell her that she should be dating older men (or so she says). I decided to give it try last spring after my same age boyfriend who had two kids and massive debt dumped me for being “too good” for him (I supported his broke ass financially), and I can say my luck changed drastically. Current guy is 55 years old and we both agreed we’re stuck with each other. At the end of summer, I had a party and invited my friend (recently heartbroken about being dumped but a guy our age for a younger girl), my boyfriend, all of his friends and all of their wives LOVED her. Every one of them and myself all thought she was perfect for a friend of theirs who was looking for someone just like her, so we agree to try to fix them up (the friend had met her once before at a charity event we were working). BF’s friend is also 55, retired, financially secure, gets a pension every month, good Christian, still works part time, has his house paid off and is looking for a woman to spoil rotten. So we pitch the idea to his friend, and the friend’s response is “that girl is a catch! She’s a nice girl with a good heart, she’s doing something with her life and she’s ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL! Yes, please fix me up with her.” I mention it to her and try to convince her to no avail, she won’t date him just because he’s 16 years older than her. I told her she needs to be dating men in their 50’s and early 60’s, not our age. She said NEVER. I told her then that she’s a stubborn asshole who’s throwing away a good guy. Opinions? I want to show this to her to make her realize this is true. Women have been marrying older men for years so it clearly works.

• I am non attracted to older people, expecially if they are in their late 40s or 50s, because that would feel like dating my father, given the fact that they are close in age to him rather than me.
• I think that being in different moments of lives, take people in having different plans and ideas of how their future should be, I am young, I am finishing my studies and my priority is to find a job, to travel, find financial stability, while a man who is in his 40s may be interested in creating a family, he already has a job and financial stability, so he is living in a completely different way that I am living and I think this is a reason while I could not be compatible with a older man.

So, this type of relationship wouldn't work in my personal opinion. This doesn't mean that people can't make it work, it just only mean that I would not be able to make it work.

What about you? Would you evr date an older person? Why or why not?