Search Results: disaster date

I have had to turn down a few women over the years for this reason (despite liking everything else about them).

It’s tried to force myself to date a woman who I wasn’t physically attracted to once in my life. That ended in absolute disaster. I also left feeling like a pos because I got her hopes up.

But I have never straight up told a woman I was turning her down because I wasn’t physically attracted to her. It just sounds way too cruel. I have alluded to it (e. g. said I wasn’t feeling the spark, she’s not my type, etc). But not said it straight out. I know the desire to feel attractive and getting attention from men is a big deal to their existence (it is for men too even though we don’t admit it)

However I have had woman reject me and say this straight to my face. It was the truth but they could of just said “sorry but I don’t have feelings for” or just “sorry I am not interested”. I would of gotten the hint just as easily. Not need to point the obvious anyhow then necessary.

Women often accuse men of being superficial and cruel. But I’ve observed the opposite more often then once. I think men have generally conditioned to be more “delicate” when rejecting women. But not the same vice versa.

As we know today the online dating is a disaster, both genders hate it with a passion. I can see that dating has been that way since long time but previously the barrier of entry is less for men, the consequence of ghosting is high as well as your date and you will have mutual friends.

But still dating itself is unstable, it is like treating relationship like test driving and pick and choose. Hearts are broken left, right and centre we can see tha most of 90s and 2000s movies are based on heartbreaks, cheating, romanticising romance, etc...

No fault divorce strained it further and now most people are in live in relationship.

I think dating fucked up the world as a whole. There is no sanctity in it, only hedonistic pleasure

I hate to say it but as man I usually have my mind made up within 30 seconds of meeting a woman of how physically attracted I am to her.

Emotional attraction does still weigh heavily into it though. She can be hot af but if I can’t stand her personality and/or she’s has no genuine interest in me I can move on. I can also move on a lot faster nowadays vs. when I was younger.

But the issue is often come across women I find that are 5’s or 6’s. They aren’t repugnant or anything but I don’t feel any butterfly’s in my stomach either. More often than not they really like me because while I am nice to them I also don’t bend over backwards for them either. I’m just as happy to be there or not be there. Either way is fine. So it’s easy to be myself.

But as a man I find that the ugly truth is I have never found myself growing in attraction for average looking women despite some of them having excellent personalities. I really have tried to “check myself” on this. Tell myself to look deeper. Tell myself to “grow up”. Feel guilty af about it.

But if tried to force myself to date and commit to average looking yet great personality girls in the past. It always ends in disaster. I quickly lose interest in sex and find myself having less patience about their problems. And I know that’s not fair at all.

Is it possible for a man to slowly fall in love with a woman he isn’t attracted to?

I am asking this because I have an opportunity to get married to an average looking girl who is outstanding in all other ways. She’s a very hard worker, respectful, excellent personality, moderate conservative, has no vices, etc. She’s also younger (27) yet mature and independent.

Yet she has a rather unattractive face and I feel Iike complete shit saying that. She’s was born with that those facial features and has zero control over them. I keep kicking myself not to judge that but it’s hard.