I think the first time I was much more playful and energetic but today I was a bit more insecure, a little bit more nervous, a bit more serious and a bit tired cause I only slept 4 hours out of nervousness prior the date, recipe for a disaster! so I didn’t feel the same spark we felt last time.
I do still like him, But I feel like maybe he expected us to have a bit more fun. Like last time, he had such an amazing time. This time it was a bit boring.
He told me we can go on a next date on Monday after he comes back from a business trip, but I feel conscious maybe I disappointed him?
We kissed a few times and he’s got beard and I played a bit with it, because I’ve never kissed a man with beard before, I only kissed guys younger than 26-28. Some of them didn’t even have beard, so that was nice and an interesting experience.
I am a bit disappointed with myself though, I wish I could be more playful and less nervous, just like last time.
I will feel very sad if he doesn’t like me.
He invited me in a very fancy restaurant and I took him home with a car, dropped him right next to his home, just so I would also contribute to the date somehow.
I also did it last time and I won’t do it next time anymore. I don’t want to overdo it.
I did it because I wanted to go home but I also wanted to spend more time with him.
I feel shy I gave him a wrong message. He initiated kissing for a first time, I liked it, and I am a very impulsive person, whatever I like I do it, so I initiated the second one. He kissed me the third time and then said he was a bit shy in front of people and maybe we could go home 🫣 I guess I gave an impression I wanted to have sex. I am so ashamed. I told “No”
