I (23f) went on a date with a guy (34m) and made it clear I'm looking for something long term on the first date. He said it takes him around two months to know if he wants something serious. We were intimate on the second date already.. I never have sex this early on but it had been a while and I got caught in the moment. After, we cuddled all night and he asked me a lot of questions about myself and was already planning our next dates, looking towards the future (Feb/March) These involve more daytime activities to get to know each other. Should I hold out on sex for the next few dates to know his true intentions?
It's okay to hold back as long as you give your good guy some of the filthiest, nastiest, freakiest experiences you've got and communicate about that. Whatever you've done for lesser men of the past when you were younger and more fun, you've got to save something better for the good man of the future that you're hoping to settle down with.
I don't think guys care about sex on the first date with a girl who's never done that. But when you know she gave it all to some other guy, it sets a standard. All too often, women will hold out for guys they really like. It's because they don't want to get attached, but it's also punishment for being a quality person.
in my opinion, I think the real life hack that women keep missing is just being a total slut for good men. And exclusively good men. Like: "what good have you done for the world recently?" If a guy isn't a turn on and is doing good things for others, that's a good man. If he is a turn on and is doing good things for others, he's probably a pandering tool. Dump the latter, suck the formers dick in an alley. You will be worshipped as the goddess who was finally smart enough to not think with her clit.
Most Helpful Opinions
- u
It is okay to hold back on the sex but you must explain why or he will be mystified and imaging many horrible possible explanations. If this is going to be a serious relationship, how you handle this issue sets the precedent for how you two communicate and resolve your concerns in the future.
What Guys Said
The problem isn't the sex. The problem is that the kind of 34 year old guy who wants to have sex with a woman your age isn't the kind of guy who is looking for commitment. He wouldn't be connecting with someone your age if he was commitment oriented.
People your age have lives that change too much
If you feel like having sex do it in my opinion unless you aren't comfortable doing it again until you know his true intentions.
not lead to disasters but according to series big bang wait til third.
realistically if you "give the milk free he won't buy the cow". get the hint?
Guess it depends on whether you want sex the next couple of dates. Is there some kind of rationing risk of you running out of sex and it will all get used up on the wrong guy? You will have to tell the next guy, "ummm I'm all out of sex?"
Oh I guess you will feel "used" if he breaks up with you. Maybe you aren't getting anything out of the sex that you wouldn't be using him also.If he's the right guy for you he will not be put off by this and is actually serious about continuing. Do whatever is organic between you two.
You already gave the pussy up! So now you're asking if the interested guy should endure a closed legs policy to prove his worth?
Yes. And clearly define your boundary. For example if he can only kiss and touch you above the waist let him know.
Sounds like you should take a sex hiatus if you feel that bad. What bothers you most about the sexual encounter? didn't know him well enough?
If you feel, that guy is sincere and trustworthy, and can be good partner in future, then you can have sex otherwise wait more and know more about him. Because most guys are following the concept:Fuck and Dump:
Having sex before you know everything about the person is retarded.
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!