Search Results: forgiving after cheating

I actually felt sad for this infidelity story I've once read at Reddit. It was written 2 years ago. The woman was 39 (she must be 41 by now) and her now husband cheated on her with a co-worker. He spent some of his wife's money on the affair and took her homemade meals and desserts to secretly feed the other woman. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 kids. He ended up having a mid-life crisis and supposedly wanted to see what it was like having sex with another woman, even briefly fell in love with the other woman. She forgives and agrees to marriage counseling. She felt she owed him one and clearly wants to save the marriage.

Flashback to 2002 when they were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

When the woman was much younger (then 19 years old), she cheated on her then boyfriend (now husband) with his best friend Tony. He caught her in a compromised position, both asleep in the couch with the TV running on. Supposedly the guy was in boxers and she was with jeans on but only with bra on top. Apparently they had already finished doing the deed by then and there was alcohol. It was an affair going on for 3 months. She's been repentant for all those years, never cheated again and was faithful as a fiancee and wife. She got forgiven and (yes he still proposed 5 years after the cheating incident, claiming he forgave her completely and wouldn't bring it anymore) they still got married.

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

On the woman's previous post, she actually is full of guilt all over again and feels she deserved it. Did she deserved to get cheated on 20 years later? She cheated in 2002 as a 19 year-old girlfriend with no kids. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 children?

so I have been talking to a guy for over a year now. very hard to communicate with. He putted the effort to talk to me everyday and be present. But because he is a workaholic he could not make a lot of time to spent some time toghether to really bond. At first I didnr mind because i have a good life of my own and i would make time to see him when it could. That would be taking a walk eating or spent some time alone in the car. He toldnme he is looking for something serious and wants to get married. I dated in between of the beginning stage with other guys. i stopped and only dated him the rest of the 5-6 months. When i would ask about our relationship he was very hessitant about the future but would still send me a lot of signals about marriage like houses he is looking for to live in and would say things like do you like this one and that one. So he would act really serious but when it came to talking about how serious it was always a open end. Like he was scared to commit. So he told me about his past relationshipsnot having a really serious relationship with any girl and that i feel different to him ( in a good way). I recently found out he talked to a girl in the beginninf of the talking stage and also would see her. ( hook up) But I know for a fact he was not planning to marry ( no offense, there are deeper lying things that i know about. Just know for a fact he would never marry her). 2 weeks ago i asked about our relationship again and i found out that after i had the talk with him he contacted the other girl again after not talking for months. When she asked about something serious he would ghost her. I had a conversation immediatly and he told me that he was not serious about her and he is with me and doesn't want to break contact becaus he wants me and wants to further invest more in the relationship and did wrong. He doesn't want me to leave but give him a chance to prove himself and told me he has a lot of commitment issues and trust issues with girls.