Search Results: do people really change

Its a very tough topic to talk about but I (26 M) sometimes do experience sexual harassment.

!! Before going further I do acknowledge that girls experience this from men as well and I do not want to deny this, I merely want to open up the conversation that it can go both ways!!

But when I talk about it with my friends they usually laugh it off because I'm a guy and specially female friends are like yeah I really doubt its close to what I'm experiencing.

Now with small stuff I'm not too bothered, like a girl when shouts like take me home with you when I'm out is kinda funny and easy to brush off. Although there are things that go too far. One example is that when I arrive at a gym I have girls staring at me and aggressively trying to take a peek when I'm changing clothes (it has subsides since I go there once or twice a day now and I'm quite a regular). This stuff does creep me out.

Also sometimes when I walk in jogging pants or something loose some girl will randomly grab my ass. This only happened twice in the last year but this really does cross a line.

The worst part is though that there is no right way to respond as a guy, if I get angry at her people will think im being aggressive to a helpless woman, and if I tell the truth people just stare in disbelief because I'm a man.

Now I will be honest that it's not the scariest thing to me since I don't go to clubs and I only drink water so getting something slipped in my drink is nearly impossible. I'm also physically stronger then 99% of other people I meet (men and women). But I worry since I have a girlfriend and we are extreemly prude with these things.

I wanted to ask for guys, have you ever experienced this and how do you deal with this? And for girls do you think this happens to guys and have you done it in the past?

And more importantly how to open up this conversation?

For the most part I care to do right by people including women. That’s not to say I haven’t ever done and said things I regretted. That doesn’t I might have a few personality quirks that women don’t appreciate. But I do know I’ve overall try to do right.

But I also know there are some true POS guys out there. Abusive and violent men. Sociopaths. Psychopaths. I know damn well not every guy would react to a situation as thoughtfully as I would.

However find myself often initially give the other guy the benefit of doubt when I hear an abuse or sexual assault story from a woman. I will however convict the guy mentally if there is actual hard evidence to prove he really did something.

But while just hearing some woman’s verbal testimony I often find myself thinking “what if tha was me” she was accusing? I know I would never in my life do anything like the abuse stories we hear about men harming women. However if I don’t know the accused guy well I often keep asking questions about the incident to gather more info. I want to see if the woman is changing her story or leaving out crucial details (e. g. a woman claims a man hit her. But did she hit him first?).

But again it’s very naive to assume another guy would react and behave the same way I would in a situation. I never rule out he might be a truly violent abusive POS.

But do women second guess other women while hearing abuse claims? When they hear stories is there ever any doubt in their minds about the other woman is saying?

I bet some think twice about it. But from my observations women often immediately imagine themselves being the in the place of the victim in the verbal abuse story. Not all but they seem persuaded very quickly and take the other woman’s story at face value. Sometimes is the complete truth but not always. But are women able to imagine the possibility that the other woman might be malicious and a liar?