Search Results: marriage relationship

This is regarding my older sister. Her ex boyfriend came after a week after she broke up. Meanwhile it's sweet he came to his senses, came to apologize and propose, my sister is still hurt. He promised to have the wedding expedited within 2 months later.

She's wondering why he wouldn't propose all those 7 years into the relationship and why only after she left him. She's wondering how much longer would she have waited if she didn't break up. She also feels like this is a forced marriage where he'll end up resenting her. She's not done processing all this. She accepted it but isn't sure about proceeding with the wedding too soon and is still hurt. Do you think she should just let it go and follow through it (forgive and forget)? Girls if that was you and your ex boyfriend came back apologizing and proposing, would you accept it or not?

I know some people have the end goal of marriage when it comes to dating. Me personally, I date because I want to build a closer more intimate and romantic relationship with the person I’m interested in. I don’t really care if we get married or not, I’m just going with the flow, if he ends up being “the one” then I’d consider marriage but other than that I usually just want to be with them for the sake of being with them. I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time either bcs the time was well spent getting to know that person, whether it ends in marriage or not. What about you? Do you date to marry or do you date just to date them?

Both involved a cruel person stealing someone's market value. Men and women are obviously valued differently. When it comes to love and relationships or marriage, what's worse?

- A man that promises the world and purposely wastes the woman's time and years. Then when she gets to a certain age, she gets ditched for someone younger. Not only she doesn't get those years back but she's depressed about possibly not being able to have kids anymore. The guy destroyed her years and her motherhood. We are afterall valued for our youth and fertility. Men don't care too much about our careers.

- A golddigger makes it harder for the rest of us to find a good family-oriented man. She uses him with charm but somehow he doesn't realize what she really is like. She got what she wanted and then wants to ditch him for no reason (just that she got bored, that's it), just for monetary incentive. She gets half of what poor man's hard work, destroying his market value he worked hard for.

I really sympathize with both cases. No one deserves getting their market value destroyed by cruel narcissists. Though personally I think the first case is worse. Money can eventually be earned back even if it takes years or longer. However, once we can't have babies anymore, that's not ever gained back, literally never. If our motherhood is taken away, it's forever gone. Money isn't forever gone.

Obviously both are liars and scams, using deception to get what they want. Though would say you baby-trapping a man is worse than strining along (giving them false promises of marriage and kids) women?

Male method: He's been living with his girlfriend for 8 years and he already knows from the longest that he won't ever marry her. Yet he doesn't see the relationship as that bad, just that he sees her as a good girlfriend but not enough to be a wife. So he keeps with sweet talks and false hopes. The woman continues believing him but gets depressed the relationship isn't progressing. She's not happy. Or he proposes with a cheaper ring and keeps her as a fiancee just to give her false hope and keep her from leaving but never plans a wedding date. By wasting her time, he's taking away her fertile years.

Female method: She's been living her with boyfriend for some years but is fed up with the situation. So she elaborates a plan to pretend to be on birth control or secretly sabotage it. Sometimes the woman already knows the guy isn't the type to bail out and is against abortion or she does this to someone that believes a child should be raised with marriage. Knowing that, she got what she wanted; a short-cut to a proposal and then marriage. She might even take that secret to the grave. The man ends up believing the birth of his child as an accident or miracle from god if he's religious.

This is how a baby-trapping (this woman got marriage out of that deception and the man never found out) story looks like:

https://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/3427335-my-20-year-old-lie-secret.html#google_vignette

Both were about satisfying their own desires and needs; selfishness. Even though both are doing despicable acts (deception is already bad), would you say baby-trapping is worse? The reason I think it's worse is because an innocent baby (a small, living human) is used as part of the deception, scam. I think that's worse than even using someone for sex or money.