Search Results: dating an older guy relationship

29F and I can’t help but feel like I must want a relationship if I tend to go periods where I install and uninstall the apps. Oddly enough, I feel like my experience with the types of guys I’ve encountered on these apps has kind of improved compared to in my early twenties, as in I tend to attract at least physically the kind of guys I’d actually consider. I look the same compared to back then but now I also feel like I can vet out who’s messing around earlier on & end it right away, the apps are still garbage but I think it’s more a matter of how I’ve changed too. So…I think I’m attracted to them based off their profile & I haven’t been catfished but a lot of the time, I end up not liking them. There’s been cases where yes it’s 50/50 and it’s mutual on both ends regarding lack of interest. I just have this expectation of them when meeting and don’t have a desire to see them again. And when we’re at the point where it’s close to meeting in person and they initiate, I chicken out or try to find an excuse. It’s a combination of apathy + feeling like eh it’s not gonna work so just let it slow fade. I just know I’ll be disappointed & being as old as I am without a LTR, it seems kind of not worth pursuing at this point. Ever since I was in my teens I’ve just never understood the desire to be boy crazy or just consumed with boys like every other girl I knew, this indifference has been lingering since but this gnawing pressure is also at the back of my mind to try in case of FOMO. Does that make sense? This applies sexually too, a lot of people wanted to experiment & fuck around but I have no desire to be sexually active/self pleasure. But I always wonder if this right person that everyone talks about will change that for me…I’m so conflicted.

Going to be 30 soon & ask myself why I’m incapable of being in a relationship with a man, people can say that I’m picky but I don’t fully believe I should take all the blame. Female friends I’ve had in the past seem to get dates easier/are okay with putting out & some have unintentionally made me second guess my looks, as they seem to have it easier yet other people have told me I’m equally/more attractive than they are. The last time I “dated” someone was when I was in my early twenties & I’m glad that ended because this guy felt like settling. It justifies that love isn’t blind & it’s better to be alone vs being in a mediocre relationship. I know I’m not all that but I feel like I should be able to attract quality men, all my life I feel like I’ve been invisible to men. I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (don’t count dating apps) & the very few times someone told me that a guy found me attractive (normally a guy I also thought was attractive), they never told me directly & it was always word of mouth.

I feel like I am cursed, that last person I saw in my early twenties was through a dating app & that’s how I’ve met all of these men I’ve met up with. The apps are continually getting worse & they’ve always had a bad rep, getting matches are never an issue it just fails to go anywhere for a number of reasons. And sometimes when I’ve met guys in person & it didn’t work out, there’s just something about them that doesn’t live up to my expectations (even though they look like their pics). I’m unsure if my dating logic is unrealistic, dating apps are the only way for me to meet people & don’t understand how I can be this old & haven’t been in love yet.

The last thing I’ll add is my lack of sex drive, masturbation doesn’t do anything for me & I haven’t had sex since I saw that person back in my early twenties. However, it’s known that some women need to be in a healthy relationship in order to have that *sexual desire*.

29F, I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years. I’m under the impression that I want a relationship as I install apps on and off. I’m at the point where I get drained when they’re installed & when I’m not in the mood to reply to messages or swipe on profiles, I end up actually using it every other day or every couple of days. When I’m at the point where I notice I’m not getting as many matches or likes after a couple of months, that’s when I delete & likely going on hiatus. I think deep down I must want something other than validation right? I like men but I haven’t been in a ltr yet, I saw someone for a few months in my early twenties & haven’t seen someone since bc I refuse to settle. I get interest from guys but it only seems to be on dating apps which I take with a grain of salt, I’m told I’m cute/attractive but never get noticed by guys I like in person (as in actually approached). I’m always told I haven’t found the right person & this may hold truth, I’m reserved & not affectionate/don’t have a sex drive really but feel like that could possibly change if I meet someone. I just worry I’ll feel regret as I’m getting old & still haven’t been in a ltr, I don’t want kids but open to marriage

My boyfriend (22) and I (18) have been together for a little over a month now, and it's going pretty well, he tells me he is ready to settle down which is a huge reassurance to me as he is not dating me just to date but to settle down. We know each other through mutual friends you can say, I met him through my older sister's fiancé. Everything for the most part has been going pretty smoothly we have a few arguments here and there that do kind of concern me for the reason being we are so fresh into our relationship I feel that we should be in our honeymoon phase and shouldn't find anything yet to somewhat argue about. On the other hand, I'm getting worried that maybe my boyfriend doesn't like me romantically. He has never once shown me a romantic gesture like buying me flowers or take me out to dinner. I am always initiating us seeing each other, he used to always ask me to hang out and now it feels like I am the only one that makes plans for us to hang out, I have brought this to his attention and every time I bring it up he sort of will shut me down and tell him that, that isn't true an that he's trying his hardest. So, with him saying that I try to brush it off, I even tried for an entire week of me not asking him to hang out, and not a single I miss you, or I wanna see you. We didn't see each other that week. When we are together it's like we are on top of the world and he acts like he really likes me, but it feels like he might not have as much interest in me as he used too. I try my best to give him his personal time with himself and his friends but to a certain extent I wish he'd make plans with me the way he does with his friends. ANY GUYS WITH ADVICE PLS ANSWER ME BACK !!!

XO Anonymous